Depression

[Raj]

8 hours ago, Man Of Faith said:

Normally dont post much on here at all but found alot of inspiration from this thread, so here goes..

 

Finally found the courage to ring my GP and try and confront my problems, genuinely terrified to go.

 

I lost my best friend 5 years ago and have generally been on a downward spiral ever since. Im constantly worrying, always anxious, can not handle any kind of guilt at all and my self loathing has become really bad. General self care has gone down too, never hungry, very little sleep and losing interest in alot of stuff. Almost completely threw away my entire family recently during a bad patch. Thankfully got talked into seeking help. Sorry for the long post. Was nice to actually write it down. Hopefully things can now improve. I dont have much expectations though. 

 

Phew x

Presume the first step is accepting you have an issue. Second and probably the hardest is doing something about it. Do on them counts well done already.

How did you get on at the Drs?

Good luck by the way!

[Izzy]

23 hours ago, Man Of Faith said:

Normally dont post much on here at all but found alot of inspiration from this thread, so here goes..

 

Finally found the courage to ring my GP and try and confront my problems, genuinely terrified to go.

 

I lost my best friend 5 years ago and have generally been on a downward spiral ever since. Im constantly worrying, always anxious, can not handle any kind of guilt at all and my self loathing has become really bad. General self care has gone down too, never hungry, very little sleep and losing interest in alot of stuff. Almost completely threw away my entire family recently during a bad patch. Thankfully got talked into seeking help. Sorry for the long post. Was nice to actually write it down. Hopefully things can now improve. I dont have much expectations though. 

 

Phew x

Brave post mate. Big respect to you for coming on here and telling your story 

 

And as you can see on this thread, you're not alone my friend. This is a safe place to say whatever you want and no one will ever judge you or take the piss - just complete support and empathy. It's by far and away the best thread in Gen chat IMO.

 

By ringing your GP and coming on here you've shown great courage. I can relate 100% to the self loathing bit. After I was ill and had major surgery I hated myself for ages. It was a long road of recover and eventually I learnt to 'love myself' again. Sounds weird I know, but once I got my sense of self worth back, everything changed for the better.

 

I know your expectations are low but you've really got nothing to lose. When you seek help you'll find that people genuinely care and will want to do anything they can to support you. I'm glad you found it nice to actually write it down. You've started the process and you're on your way now. Accepting you've hit rock bottom is a massive step and it's onwards and upwards from now on.

 

You've got many friends on here so don't be a stranger. Keep posting and let us all know how you get on.

 

Good luck Man of Faith (great username btw )

 

 

Edited 17 January 2017 by Izzy Muzzett

[CKB]

23 hours ago, Man Of Faith said:

Normally dont post much on here at all but found alot of inspiration from this thread, so here goes..

 

Finally found the courage to ring my GP and try and confront my problems, genuinely terrified to go.

 

I lost my best friend 5 years ago and have generally been on a downward spiral ever since. Im constantly worrying, always anxious, can not handle any kind of guilt at all and my self loathing has become really bad. General self care has gone down too, never hungry, very little sleep and losing interest in alot of stuff. Almost completely threw away my entire family recently during a bad patch. Thankfully got talked into seeking help. Sorry for the long post. Was nice to actually write it down. Hopefully things can now improve. I dont have much expectations though. 

 

Phew x

As others have said the first step is always the hardest. Keep going and hopefully all the help you receive will do some good! 

 

Keep posting and keeping us updated, we are all in it together ??

[Man Of Faith]

Thank you to everyone for the kind words and support, I didnt really expect that. 

Just got back from Doctors, basically said im depressed and gave me some tablets to take. Also setting up some therapy aswell. He was actually very nice and understanding considering I was absolutely terrified to go in. Hopefully things can now start to pick up x

[stripeyfox]

9 hours ago, Man Of Faith said:

Thank you to everyone for the kind words and support, I didnt really expect that. 

Just got back from Doctors, basically said im depressed and gave me some tablets to take. Also setting up some therapy aswell. He was actually very nice and understanding considering I was absolutely terrified to go in. Hopefully things can now start to pick up x

Good to hear that you've spoken to the doctor.

 

Important thing to remember, is that by posting on here, you are most likely not only helping yourself but also others. Every single post from someone who says they are suffering or having a tough time with their mental health (for want of a better expression), it helps others who either don't realise they have an "issue" or who may do so in the future, because each post adds to the sense of "I'm not alone".

 

 

[Col city fan]

Some very very heartwarming posts in this thread. Good work people..

[Kopfkino]

This thread is genuinely great, the community that has evolved on here is incredible for something that started out as a forum for a Leicester City in 2004. I've not been too active on here for a while now but reading through this has spurred me on to share my story and I shall endeavour to keep an eye on this thread for anyone who might need help. I'm also hoping this might exist as a safe haven when I have a bit of a bad time of it.

 

I was first put on anti-depressants in December 2014, I'd had a difficult year for numerous reasons and I noticed something wasn't right towards the end of October but it wasn't until I had a massive, and very scary, panic attack after the Liverpool 3-1 home loss that I did something about it. Initially, not a lot got better but I noticed an improvement by the end of February 2015 and things all round were looking up. I was probably stupid, but I came off the tablets in that summer, just before I went to uni. Things were okay initially, then I noticed things were getting worse again by November. I was too quick to come off the tablets (probably my sheer disdain for them) and I never dealt with the underlying cause. I think it's important to note that medication won't fix it, they help you to fix it. After realising how bad I got again over Christmas 2015, I went back on citalopram in January 2016 and also did a bit of counselling. Whilst I found counselling useful to some extent, I didn't like the routine of going to the counsellor, the anxiety of the process and I found it difficult to actually open. I find if somebody doesn't ask exactly the right question, I will always skip around what I should really say. I, again, came off citalopram last summer (naivety and still sheer disdain for these tablets) and all was well for a bit longer this time. This uni year started off well but then during late October, I nosedived quite emphatically. Crying all the time for no reason, complete disinterest in doing anything, inability to sleep/oversleeping, general sadness and a feeling of not being good enough. It was harder this time because it was so sudden, whereas the two previous times, I knew something wasn't right for a period of time. This time I asked for something different to citalopram and got sertraline. My experience with sertraline was terrible, some of the darkest days I've ever had, then got put on fluoxetine which was better but still not ideal so now I'm on mirtazapine. I've also just started CBT which I had been reluctant to try. Fortunately, Camden offers online CBT on the NHS which I am keen to give a go. It removes the anxiety of the process of counselling, it's done by an online chat so you get the chance to properly think about what you're saying/there's a copy of your chat so you can go back and have a look and it is much more convenient. We shall see if it's useful.

 

I still hate all the medication, my views on it aren't particularly favourable but it appears to have worked for me, whether that is placebo or actually a fallacy, I don't know but I shall persevere with it anyway. I've never been the typically suicidal type, in fact I've in the past had problems with health anxiety and a fear of death, but sometimes I do think it might be better for it to all be done with. I have some terrible episodes and I can be a proper irritable bastard, hell bent on pushing people away but thankfully the majority take it and stick by me. I wish they didn't have to take it. On the whole, though, I come across quite a happy go lucky guy. The situation hasn't helped with uni work at all, and uni hasn't helped with the situation really, there's been a big consideration from me about dropping out recently as I've totally lost interest in it and don't like being here. At the same time, I don't want to drop out and I will see it through. Whilst the LSE have been alright about it, being at the LSE is not good for depression and is a cause for a lot of people here. All this is part of the experience of life and I'm hoping to be able to use my experience to improve the experience of other people at LSE and anywhere for that matter. More needs to be done regarding mental health.

 

I could easily go into proper detail here and write a massive long post, this thread is great and I feel able to open up into it so good work people. Long may it continue.

[ozleicester]

Congrats for continuing and thanks for sharing your words help yourself and others. Dont give in.

[Crinklyfox]

5 hours ago, KingGTF said:

This thread is genuinely great, the community that has evolved on here is incredible for something that started out as a forum for a Leicester City in 2004. I've not been too active on here for a while now but reading through this has spurred me on to share my story and I shall endeavour to keep an eye on this thread for anyone who might need help. I'm also hoping this might exist as a safe haven when I have a bit of a bad time of it.

 

I was first put on anti-depressants in December 2014, I'd had a difficult year for numerous reasons and I noticed something wasn't right towards the end of October but it wasn't until I had a massive, and very scary, panic attack after the Liverpool 3-1 home loss that I did something about it. Initially, not a lot got better but I noticed an improvement by the end of February 2015 and things all round were looking up. I was probably stupid, but I came off the tablets in that summer, just before I went to uni. Things were okay initially, then I noticed things were getting worse again by November. I was too quick to come off the tablets (probably my sheer disdain for them) and I never dealt with the underlying cause. I think it's important to note that medication won't fix it, they help you to fix it. After realising how bad I got again over Christmas 2015, I went back on citalopram in January 2016 and also did a bit of counselling. Whilst I found counselling useful to some extent, I didn't like the routine of going to the counsellor, the anxiety of the process and I found it difficult to actually open. I find if somebody doesn't ask exactly the right question, I will always skip around what I should really say. I, again, came off citalopram last summer (naivety and still sheer disdain for these tablets) and all was well for a bit longer this time. This uni year started off well but then during late October, I nosedived quite emphatically. Crying all the time for no reason, complete disinterest in doing anything, inability to sleep/oversleeping, general sadness and a feeling of not being good enough. It was harder this time because it was so sudden, whereas the two previous times, I knew something wasn't right for a period of time. This time I asked for something different to citalopram and got sertraline. My experience with sertraline was terrible, some of the darkest days I've ever had, then got put on fluoxetine which was better but still not ideal so now I'm on mirtazapine. I've also just started CBT which I had been reluctant to try. Fortunately, Camden offers online CBT on the NHS which I am keen to give a go. It removes the anxiety of the process of counselling, it's done by an online chat so you get the chance to properly think about what you're saying/there's a copy of your chat so you can go back and have a look and it is much more convenient. We shall see if it's useful.

 

I still hate all the medication, my views on it aren't particularly favourable but it appears to have worked for me, whether that is placebo or actually a fallacy, I don't know but I shall persevere with it anyway. I've never been the typically suicidal type, in fact I've in the past had problems with health anxiety and a fear of death, but sometimes I do think it might be better for it to all be done with. I have some terrible episodes and I can be a proper irritable bastard, hell bent on pushing people away but thankfully the majority take it and stick by me. I wish they didn't have to take it. On the whole, though, I come across quite a happy go lucky guy. The situation hasn't helped with uni work at all, and uni hasn't helped with the situation really, there's been a big consideration from me about dropping out recently as I've totally lost interest in it and don't like being here. At the same time, I don't want to drop out and I will see it through. Whilst the LSE have been alright about it, being at the LSE is not good for depression and is a cause for a lot of people here. All this is part of the experience of life and I'm hoping to be able to use my experience to improve the experience of other people at LSE and anywhere for that matter. More needs to be done regarding mental health.

 

I could easily go into proper detail here and write a massive long post, this thread is great and I feel able to open up into it so good work people. Long may it continue.

I was at uni a long time ago but I know the stresses that it can bring.  It's more difficult than most people think and feeling pressured doesn't help when you're ill, either mentally or physically.

 

Sometimes the struggle seems to much and giving up appears to be the easier option, and it is easier to fall than climb but if you fall you end up in a worse place and if you climb it's better, which is why we keep trying.  It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that because things feel bad now they'll never feel better again, and in depression long term views can go out of the window and be replaced by a very limited view of the future.  You haven't felt this bad for most of your life up to this point and even if you can't personally see a satisfactory way forward right now, it doesn't mean that you are condemned to be like this for the rest of your life.  This thread has quite a few posters on it who have suffered depression and recovered, there's no reason why you can't be another, it just takes the right treatment and circumstances.

 

When I was at uni a good friend of mine dropped out.  I've continued to see him over the last 40 years plus and he always tells me how he regrets his decision to give uni up.  It seemed to him to be the best thing to do at the time, but in hindsight and with the perspective that other life experiences bring, he wishes that he had stuck with it through the difficult times.  Personally I wish that I had been able to convince him to stay.  I only mention this as it looks like you may be in the same place mentally that he was before he went.  I hope that you can find the strength to battle through your problems.  

[tom27111]

Hi all,

 

Sorry to see others suffering.

 

Thought I'd taken over this thread! Would quite happily have done so if it meant nobody else going through shit.

 

I'm alright. Just alright really.

 

But that's a hell of an improvement from a few weeks ago.

 

The flat in Derby fell through, but that's cool. I'm still looking.

 

Just want to say thank you to you all, I haven't, and will never forget how you helped me. 

 

To others suffering...it's hard. I'm not going to pretend everything is OK and there's a cure...there isn't. 

 

But, hang on in there. It gets better and SO many people care.

 

Anyone reading this and worried, pm me. Seriously. I'm not cured, I don't know if that ever happens?? But stuff does get better.

 

My mates, that I didn't think I had, have been amazing. I've not been judged once.

 

And you lot have been bloody amazing.

 

 

[Man Of Faith]

17 hours ago, tom27111 said:

Hi all,

 

Sorry to see others suffering.

 

Thought I'd taken over this thread! Would quite happily have done so if it meant nobody else going through shit.

 

I'm alright. Just alright really.

 

But that's a hell of an improvement from a few weeks ago.

 

The flat in Derby fell through, but that's cool. I'm still looking.

 

Just want to say thank you to you all, I haven't, and will never forget how you helped me. 

 

To others suffering...it's hard. I'm not going to pretend everything is OK and there's a cure...there isn't. 

 

But, hang on in there. It gets better and SO many people care.

 

Anyone reading this and worried, pm me. Seriously. I'm not cured, I don't know if that ever happens?? But stuff does get better.

 

My mates, that I didn't think I had, have been amazing. I've not been judged once.

 

And you lot have been bloody amazing.

 

 

Ill be honest, I feel terrible. So so low, irritable, constantly holding back tears. All I want to do is lay in bed and listen to music. I cant because I have a 19mnth old daughter and shes my one inspiration to get me through all this but even with that the days are so hard at the min. Only been taking Sertraline since last Wednesday so im aware it takes time, It just feels like it never will at the minute. To hear yours and others storys is encouraging though and I genuinely hope it works out for you all x

[Izzy]

39 minutes ago, Man Of Faith said:

Ill be honest, I feel terrible. So so low, irritable, constantly holding back tears. All I want to do is lay in bed and listen to music. I cant because I have a 19mnth old daughter and shes my one inspiration to get me through all this but even with that the days are so hard at the min. Only been taking Sertraline since last Wednesday so im aware it takes time, It just feels like it never will at the minute. To hear yours and others storys is encouraging though and I genuinely hope it works out for you all x

Hang in their buddy. I think it does take a while for the drugs to release into your system, so you just need to be a bit patient with them I guess. You mentioned previously that your GP had arranged therapy for you, so hopefully talking through how you're feeling day to day with a professional will also help. It's great that your daughter is your inspiration and remember that even at that age she'll sense how you're feeling and will be learning from you every day. When I was suffering I realised that I was a role model for my kids and I didn't want them to end up depressed like me. I had to make a massive conscious effort to really try hard to be and positive and upbeat around them, but it was extremely difficult when I was feeling like shit. I know you feel like just wanting to stay in bed, but if you can just go for a walk and get a bit of fresh air that will also help. Let us know how you get on with the therapy and whatever you do - keep posting on here. Just look at @tom27111 for some inspiration. He was in a really bad way a few weeks back but it's great to see how he's now improving. We're all rooting for you mate so stay strong, be grateful for the good things in your life, and remember you're just a beautifully flawed human being like the rest of us...

[ajthefox]

18 hours ago, tom27111 said:

Hi all,

 

Sorry to see others suffering.

 

Thought I'd taken over this thread! Would quite happily have done so if it meant nobody else going through shit.

 

I'm alright. Just alright really.

 

But that's a hell of an improvement from a few weeks ago.

 

The flat in Derby fell through, but that's cool. I'm still looking.

 

Just want to say thank you to you all, I haven't, and will never forget how you helped me. 

 

To others suffering...it's hard. I'm not going to pretend everything is OK and there's a cure...there isn't. 

 

But, hang on in there. It gets better and SO many people care.

 

Anyone reading this and worried, pm me. Seriously. I'm not cured, I don't know if that ever happens?? But stuff does get better.

 

My mates, that I didn't think I had, have been amazing. I've not been judged once.

 

And you lot have been bloody amazing.

 

 

I'm not sure anyone ever gets cured of these types of things, rather they learn to live with them and let it affect them less. Really glad to hear you're doing better though Tom mate.

 

1 hour ago, Man Of Faith said:

Ill be honest, I feel terrible. So so low, irritable, constantly holding back tears. All I want to do is lay in bed and listen to music. I cant because I have a 19mnth old daughter and shes my one inspiration to get me through all this but even with that the days are so hard at the min. Only been taking Sertraline since last Wednesday so im aware it takes time, It just feels like it never will at the minute. To hear yours and others storys is encouraging though and I genuinely hope it works out for you all x

It's gutting to read stuff like this, my heart goes out to you pal.

 

My problems are minor and far more temperamental than what I imagine many on here experience, but the down days are still hard and I can certainly emphasise with wanting to just stay in bed listening to music. An ex of mine had a host of issues including self-harming which she struggled with for the 3 and a half years we were together. Whilst I can never claim to understand everything that she went through, I did share in her struggles and it broke my heart over and over to see her suffer. 

 

I've not shared that with many of my friends and it's the first time I've disclosed anything personal on here too, so I guess that must be some form of progress.

 

More to the point, I read your post and just couldn't go without saying something. I hope that you find some comfort in reading this.

 

All the best

[CKB]

We are all in it together guys! I'm there via message if anyone wants a chat, I may not get back straight away but I will get back! We all share that one thing together and that's mental health so there's no judgement here

 

I'm glad others are opening up more, this thread really has been amazing. All you guys are fvckin ace and one day we should all try our hardest to meet up for a few drinks and just have a good laugh

[Lionator]

I've now just gone a full second night without sleep which is killing me and fuelling anxiety and depression to the point where I can't function. I've been going home from uni at weekends and sleeping soundly but as soon as I come back the problems start again. Problem is I sleep in a downstairs room which has a streetlight outside of it, some pretty shoddy curtains which the landlord wont change and I live in a very studenty neighbourhood so even when I do drop off, I get woken up very easily. I've got 10 weeks of teaching left at uni so the end is in site but this whole sleep/depression scenario is going to have a massive impact on my work and is ruining everything. 

[ozleicester]

1 hour ago, Lionator said:

I've now just gone a full second night without sleep which is killing me and fuelling anxiety and depression to the point where I can't function. I've been going home from uni at weekends and sleeping soundly but as soon as I come back the problems start again. Problem is I sleep in a downstairs room which has a streetlight outside of it, some pretty shoddy curtains which the landlord wont change and I live in a very studenty neighbourhood so even when I do drop off, I get woken up very easily. I've got 10 weeks of teaching left at uni so the end is in site but this whole sleep/depression scenario is going to have a massive impact on my work and is ruining everything. 

Sleep and disrupted sleep are huge players in Mental health, hopefully you are talking to you doctor and letting them know your needs etc. The health system is your tool, try to use it

 

Good Luck, dont give up

[urban.spaceman]

1 hour ago, Lionator said:

I've now just gone a full second night without sleep which is killing me and fuelling anxiety and depression to the point where I can't function. I've been going home from uni at weekends and sleeping soundly but as soon as I come back the problems start again. Problem is I sleep in a downstairs room which has a streetlight outside of it, some pretty shoddy curtains which the landlord wont change and I live in a very studenty neighbourhood so even when I do drop off, I get woken up very easily. I've got 10 weeks of teaching left at uni so the end is in site but this whole sleep/depression scenario is going to have a massive impact on my work and is ruining everything. 

I had to double check this to see if I hadn't already written it myself in my hallucinatory insomnia addled state! 

 

Going through something very similar at the minute so you're not alone - its very unpleasant and really crippling. Weirdly I also had the same problem at Uni where a streetlight outside (from a construction site if I remember correctly). My solution was to buy the cheapest, thickest blanket I could and hang it over the curtains. Worked a treat.

[Buce]

8 hours ago, Lionator said:

I've now just gone a full second night without sleep which is killing me and fuelling anxiety and depression to the point where I can't function. I've been going home from uni at weekends and sleeping soundly but as soon as I come back the problems start again. Problem is I sleep in a downstairs room which has a streetlight outside of it, some pretty shoddy curtains which the landlord wont change and I live in a very studenty neighbourhood so even when I do drop off, I get woken up very easily. I've got 10 weeks of teaching left at uni so the end is in site but this whole sleep/depression scenario is going to have a massive impact on my work and is ruining everything. 

 

Have you considered using a sleeping mask? Earplugs?

[Izzy]

9 hours ago, Lionator said:

I've now just gone a full second night without sleep which is killing me and fuelling anxiety and depression to the point where I can't function. I've been going home from uni at weekends and sleeping soundly but as soon as I come back the problems start again. Problem is I sleep in a downstairs room which has a streetlight outside of it, some pretty shoddy curtains which the landlord wont change and I live in a very studenty neighbourhood so even when I do drop off, I get woken up very easily. I've got 10 weeks of teaching left at uni so the end is in site but this whole sleep/depression scenario is going to have a massive impact on my work and is ruining everything. 

You've gotta look after yourself mate and get this sleep thing sorted if you've still got 10 weeks left. I wouldn't advocate sleeping pills unless your GP recommends them, but it's vital for your well being and mental state that you get enough kip. I hope you find a solution quickly buddy 

 

7 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Have you considered using a sleeping mask? Earplugs?

Just what I was going to suggest Bucey - good advice, cheap and effective 

[Benguin]

Not really depression related but think people in this thread might have some tips. I have anxiety in the medical sense, all though it's purely my body rather than my mind that's affected, couldn't believe it when I was told as I generally only ever feel anxious in normal situations like before doing a speech or getting strapped in on a rollercoaster. Anyway one of the major symptoms I get is heart palpitations, I often feel like my heart skips a beat or I can feel my heart beating against my pillow from my neck. This has developed this year and I get this new palp that is pretty concerning. Feels like when someone makes you jump. I can be half asleep, or watching tv on the sofa and my whole body just jumps out of its skin. Anyone with anxiety experienced this? Any tips to subdue it other than the normal avoiding caffeine etc?

[leicsmac]

This thread continues to amaze me.

 

For too long mental illnesses have been stigmatised, not talked about, people left to suffer. Seeing people here be so frank with both their experiences and their advice gives me hope that this is changing in wider society too. It's brilliant.

[Nick]

13 minutes ago, Benguin said:

Not really depression related but think people in this thread might have some tips. I have anxiety in the medical sense, all though it's purely my body rather than my mind that's affected, couldn't believe it when I was told as I generally only ever feel anxious in normal situations like before doing a speech or getting strapped in on a rollercoaster. Anyway one of the major symptoms I get is heart palpitations, I often feel like my heart skips a beat or I can feel my heart beating against my pillow from my neck. This has developed this year and I get this new palp that is pretty concerning. Feels like when someone makes you jump. I can be half asleep, or watching tv on the sofa and my whole body just jumps out of its skin. Anyone with anxiety experienced this? Any tips to subdue it other than the normal avoiding caffeine etc?

My advice would be to get your BP checked at the Dr's - it doesn't mean you'll have to have medication like alpha or beta blockers necessarily, one of my family takes a water tablet which takes pressure of liver and kidneys and helps slow down heart rate.... 

[Finnegan]

On 25/01/2017 at 10:55, Lionator said:

I've now just gone a full second night without sleep which is killing me and fuelling anxiety and depression to the point where I can't function. I've been going home from uni at weekends and sleeping soundly but as soon as I come back the problems start again. Problem is I sleep in a downstairs room which has a streetlight outside of it, some pretty shoddy curtains which the landlord wont change and I live in a very studenty neighbourhood so even when I do drop off, I get woken up very easily. I've got 10 weeks of teaching left at uni so the end is in site but this whole sleep/depression scenario is going to have a massive impact on my work and is ruining everything. 

 

Sleep dep is a cvnt. I had a thread on here a while back regards having problems with my upstairs neighbor. My missus is even worse than I am, she's incredibly light sensitive.

 

Few notes: you can bulk buy industrial foam earplugs off eBay, go crazy.

 

Secondly, you can buy blackout blinds that are non permanent. They're like a thick sheet of fabric that you velcro to your window frame with adhesive velcro patches. We use them at home, they work. Don't think ours cost much, just another of my girlfriends internet finds.

 

They won't necessarily help if you start developing anxiety about falling asleep but they'll cut out distractions.

 

Regards the anxiety, best bit of advice I got on the issue when it came to sleep - I think it actually came from Bellend Sebastian on here: give up.

 

Seriously. Give in, just accept you're probably not going to sleep, don't worry about it, lay down and just enjoy doing nothing anyway. Genuinely worked for me, as stupid as it sounds.

Edited 26 January 2017 by Finnegan

[Izzy]

26 minutes ago, Benguin said:

Not really depression related but think people in this thread might have some tips. I have anxiety in the medical sense, all though it's purely my body rather than my mind that's affected, couldn't believe it when I was told as I generally only ever feel anxious in normal situations like before doing a speech or getting strapped in on a rollercoaster. Anyway one of the major symptoms I get is heart palpitations, I often feel like my heart skips a beat or I can feel my heart beating against my pillow from my neck. This has developed this year and I get this new palp that is pretty concerning. Feels like when someone makes you jump. I can be half asleep, or watching tv on the sofa and my whole body just jumps out of its skin. Anyone with anxiety experienced this? Any tips to subdue it other than the normal avoiding caffeine etc?

I'm going to sound like a scratched record here and maybe a little annoying, so my apologies!

Even though you say it's your body rather than your mind that's affected, my understanding and experience would suggest the physical symptoms you talk about are a manifestation of your thinking. 

It always starts with our thinking - always. The examples you give of doing a speech or riding a roller coaster are typical of situations that can make people anxious, and in your case your physiology changes with heart palpitations. For others it can be loss of breath, light headedness or sweating. They're all just physical reactions to our thoughts that we believe to be true. What if I embarrass myself with my speech? What if the roller coaster crashes? What if...? What if..?

Next time you get these symptoms when half asleep or watching TV, just notice if they directly follow some sort of worrying thinking. I might be wrong, but I'd be surprised if they 'just came out of nowhere'. 

The only 'tip' I have is to not take your thinking too seriously and don't always trust it to be true. Our thinking is not our reality and often we just 'make it up bad' in our head and then the physical symptoms follow. And it's all fear. Fear of what 'might' happen but more often than not never transpires. When we're anxious we can run high levels of cortisol and adrenaline and our body 'prepares' us by taking blood from our brain and pumping it into our muscles. I'm sure we've all had our heart skip a beat when we nearly have a car crash. It's just a rush of cortisol and our body preparing us to deal with a possible threat - the same as it did 100,000 years ago when sabre tooth Tigers were chasing us. If we can notice our thinking and 'catch ourselves' before the negative spiral begins, we can reduce the threat and fear and our body relaxes to its normal state. We are living in the feeling of our thinking - 100% of the time.

 

 

 

[Guest]

In terms of sleeping as someone who does shifts I'd recommend going to an audiologist at your local hospital to get moulds of your ears and get some custom silicone ones done. Took ages to get used to sleeping with them but they really are great.

 

As Finnegan says check out the other things that may help cut out distraction. Also check out https://justgetflux.com/ which will reduce the blue in your screen at designated times if you happen to be using phones/tablets/laptop or whatever which will help (although I'd advise turning off completely).

 

As someone who suffers with depression (in part caused by the shifts I do) I have to say that sleep and diet are heavily related to how bad it seems and how I manage it. Obviously I can't change the way my current shifts work but I have to manage it as best as I can. Even though I know that when I'm thinking logically it doesn't stop me personally ignoring my own advice when at my lowest. I'm not sure it ever necessarily goes away but you learn to live with it.

 

There's been some really good advice in this thread and I hope people continue to talk about it as it definitely helps and helps reduce the perceived stigma of it.