Depression

[Miquel The Work Geordie]

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Edited 18 March 2017 by Miquel The Work Geordie

[Man Of Faith]

On 17/03/2017 at 19:27, Izzy Muzzett said:

It's good to hear back from you mate, I'd been wondering how you were..

 

First of all I'm pleased for you that the meds are helping and it's easier to get through the day now - that's good to hear that.

 

In my experience, the whole happiness and relative success of our lives is built on our self worth and self esteem. It's kinda the base foundation that all of our feelings and emotions are built on. I'm guessing that maybe you've had upsetting and bad experiences in the past that have led to you feeling a lack of self worth and wanting to punish yourself? Until this is properly addressed and you ultimately deal with this, I'd suggest the meds are just a sticking plaster...

 

I really hope your therapy helps you deal with your demons and come to terms with the fact that you are a worthwhile and valued human being. Before I went through therapy I was carrying tremendous guilt for my mistakes of the past, but the process helped me realise that it wasn't all my fault at all. I ended up forgiving those who'd hurt me, but more importantly I forgave myself. 

 

Our mistakes are in the past, and the past is not a destination. We can't change our past, but we can learn from it. I'm sure there is still an exciting and hopeful chapter of your life to come, so please keep the faith that things will improve and that you'll ultimately find peace of mind and fulfillment. 

 

I feel for you with the flow of negative thinking. I've banged on about this many times before but you don't have to trust your thoughts or believe them to be your reality - they're only thoughts. I'm sure that there are times in the day when you DO have positive thoughts, and these are the ones to pay attention to instead.

 

I really do wish you well and keep us all updated on how you get on with your GP and therapy.

 

The very best of luck to you  

Hey, thank you for the kind words and the encouragment. Yeah I have come to the conclusion that its all based on self worth, I just dont know how to change that. Yeah had bad experiences and mistakes I have made and its all become to deep rooted as I should of seeked help much much earlier than I have. Will see if therapy will help at all. I hope so because it feels like it will be this way forever and I dont know how to deal with that thought. I try so hard every day to push the negative thoughts away, its just exhausting 

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, Man Of Faith said:

Hey, thank you for the kind words and the encouragment. Yeah I have come to the conclusion that its all based on self worth, I just dont know how to change that. Yeah had bad experiences and mistakes I have made and its all become to deep rooted as I should of seeked help much much earlier than I have. Will see if therapy will help at all. I hope so because it feels like it will be this way forever and I dont know how to deal with that thought. I try so hard every day to push the negative thoughts away, its just exhausting 

Don't beat yourself up for not seeking help earlier mate. The good news if that you've taken that step now, so it's onwards and upwards from here. 

 

Therapy is no magic bullet but it definitely helped me to get over my past and deal with it once and for all. Your therapist will help you with this - that's their job, but you must be open to it. I encourage you to go with an open mind and just let it all out, safe in the knowledge that it stays between the two of you. 

 

And please trust the process. Don't give up after a few sessions if you feel you haven't been 'cured' yet. It took me 12 months of therapy to eventually realise I was home and dry, so be prepared that it may be a long and emotional journey for you.

 

Finally, if for any reason you don't get on with it or don't like your therapist, you can always request a different one. I was lucky that mine was fantastic and she was the perfect fit for me. Either way, you're now on the road to a much happier and more fulfilled life and I really hope it all works out for you. Good luck 

[urban.spaceman]

Apparently you're not supposed to have Lemsip when you're on anti-depressants. 

 

Which is a depressing thing to hear when you've been unwell for the last fortnight. 

[Bryn]

1 hour ago, urban.spaceman said:

Apparently you're not supposed to have Lemsip when you're on anti-depressants. 

 

Which is a depressing thing to hear when you've been unwell for the last fortnight. 

 

Depends which antidepressant and even then it's probably not an absolute contraindication. Consult your GP.

[Buce]

1 hour ago, urban.spaceman said:

Apparently you're not supposed to have Lemsip when you're on anti-depressants. 

 

Which is a depressing thing to hear when you've been unwell for the last fortnight. 

 

13 minutes ago, Bryn said:

 

Depends which antidepressant and even then it's probably not an absolute contraindication. Consult your GP.

 

Here's an article discussing painkillers and  Serotonin Syndrome:

 

https://www.peoplespharmacy.com/2013/12/19/antidepressant-reacts-badly-with-cold-medicine-interaction-can-be-deadly/

 

It doesn't mention the active ingredients in Lemsip, (phenylephrine hydrochloride and paracetamol) but Bryn's advice to consult your GP is sound.

[The Blur]

On 17/03/2017 at 19:00, Man Of Faith said:

Hi all, not posted on here for a while, thought I would see what affects the meds would have for while then report back. So been on Sertraline for 8 weeks now, its helped with my anxiety massively, feel calmer, not as on edge and tremors have almost stopped so its easier to get through a day, however still feel completely numb to so much, my self worth is still at an all time low aswell. I still feel the need to cut myself to punish myself for my mistakes and the flow of negative thoughts is almost unbearable. Doctor said couple wks ago thaf im on the right path but I dont know. Seeing him again nxt week. Also got therapy in 2 weeks, hopefully thaf might help

 

Hey, you do not have to wait for effects of your meds to post in this thread.  Just post whenever you like or need to 

[Maboimahrez]

Hey guys. Havent posted in a while as things were getting better. Had a few setbacks the last week though

 

I dont know about anyone else but I have these feelings of incredible jealousy towards others. I have never been one to be jealous but when I see someone I know who gets lucky breaks in life or perhaps gets something they dont deserve I get so upset. I feel like im being punished for something, feel like why dont I get these breaks or perhaps why I cant be as happy as others. 

Ive also felt that on the whole, I always do the (morally) right thing in that I dont intentionally try to hurt anyone or try to help people as much as I can. Then I see people who are the complete opposite who seem to benefit from doing these wrong things. I have always been a strong believer of Karma, but with each passing day, I believe less and less

Edited 21 March 2017 by Maboimahrez

[Izzy]

6 hours ago, Maboimahrez said:

Hey guys. Havent posted in a while as things were getting better. Had a few setbacks the last week though

 

I dont know about anyone else but I have these feelings of incredible jealousy towards others. I have never been one to be jealous but when I see someone I know who gets lucky breaks in life or perhaps gets something they dont deserve I get so upset. I feel like im being punished for something, feel like why dont I get these breaks or perhaps why I cant be as happy as others. 

Ive also felt that on the whole, I always do the (morally) right thing in that I dont intentionally try to hurt anyone or try to help people as much as I can. Then I see people who are the complete opposite who seem to benefit from doing these wrong things. I have always been a strong believer of Karma, but with each passing day, I believe less and less

I once read that we are all individually different when it comes to how happy we can be in life. The author described it as 'happiness points' and we've all got a maximum number available to us - and we can't achieve any higher than that. So someone might be 'capable' of say 1000 happiness points, where the maximum I'll ever achieve maybe only 300. So whether I like it or not, I'm just never going to be as happy as some people - it's in our DNA and it's the way we're made apparently!

 

I know a couple of 'mates' who play away and cheat on their wives - then brag about it and never get caught. They're also in better health than me, earn more money than me, and have better materialistic things than me. But they're both a pair of cvnts really. Are they really happy or is it all just a show? Are they authentic and genuine people who care for others - not really. Would I rather trade places with them? - not for all the tea in china. Maybe I'll get the 'breaks' in the after life and they'll both go to hell instead. Who the fvck knows...

 

My depression started about 15 years ago following my sudden illness and major surgery. For years afterwards I felt I was being punished for all my previous wrong doings. Looking back I was a pretty nasty person for the first 30 years of my life. Selfish, driven at the expense of others, materialistic and greedy. I thought my illness was 'pay back' and god's way of forcing me to change my ways. But then someone said to me: "What about young kids with disabilities - what previous acts are they being punished for?" and that completely shifted my belief.

 

So change my ways I have, and the happier and more content with life I now am. I get joy from helping others now and try to life my life in service of those around me. Good luck to those who 'get the breaks' but I certainly won't waste my energy being jealous of them or wishing it was me instead.  I do still believe in Karma to a certain extent, and I'm a bit of a 'fatalist' in thinking our lives are pretty much mapped out for us from the start. But I also believe there's an afterlife, and I'm trying my best every day to do the right thing hoping that St Peter let's me through the pearly gates 

 

But each to their own. We all have different values and beliefs and I gave up ages ago trying to force mine on other people. But I believe we'll never have true peace of mind being jealous of others or getting upset that they get the breaks. There'll always be people better off than us, and also people much worse off than us - that's just life IMHO.

 

I hope you continue to do the morally right thing mate. The world needs more people like you who try to help others as much as they can. You should take great pride in this approach and feel good about yourself in the process. I believe you'll ultimately get your rewards my friend, whether it be in this life or the next...

 

 

 

[ajthefox]

1 hour ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I once read that we are all individually different when it comes to how happy we can be in life. The author described it as 'happiness points' and we've all got a maximum number available to us - and we can't achieve any higher than that. So someone might be 'capable' of say 1000 happiness points, where the maximum I'll ever achieve maybe only 300. So whether I like it or not, I'm just never going to be as happy as some people - it's in our DNA and it's the way we're made apparently!

 

I know a couple of 'mates' who play away and cheat on their wives - then brag about it and never get caught. They're also in better health than me, earn more money than me, and have better materialistic things than me. But they're both a pair of cvnts really. Are they really happy or is it all just a show? Are they authentic and genuine people who care for others - not really. Would I rather trade places with them? - not for all the tea in china. Maybe I'll get the 'breaks' in the after life and they'll both go to hell instead. Who the fvck knows...

 

My depression started about 15 years ago following my sudden illness and major surgery. For years afterwards I felt I was being punished for all my previous wrong doings. Looking back I was a pretty nasty person for the first 30 years of my life. Selfish, driven at the expense of others, materialistic and greedy. I thought my illness was 'pay back' and god's way of forcing me to change my ways. But then someone said to me: "What about young kids with disabilities - what previous acts are they being punished for?" and that completely shifted my belief.

 

So change my ways I have, and the happier and more content with life I now am. I get joy from helping others now and try to life my life in service of those around me. Good luck to those who 'get the breaks' but I certainly won't waste my energy being jealous of them or wishing it was me instead.  I do still believe in Karma to a certain extent, and I'm a bit of a 'fatalist' in thinking our lives are pretty much mapped out for us from the start. But I also believe there's an afterlife, and I'm trying my best every day to do the right thing hoping that St Peter let's me through the pearly gates 

 

But each to their own. We all have different values and beliefs and I gave up ages ago trying to force mine on other people. But I believe we'll never have true peace of mind being jealous of others or getting upset that they get the breaks. There'll always be people better off than us, and also people much worse off than us - that's just life IMHO.

 

I hope you continue to do the morally right thing mate. The world needs more people like you who try to help others as much as they can. You should take great pride in this approach and feel good about yourself in the process. I believe you'll ultimately get your rewards my friend, whether it be in this life or the next...

 

 

 

There needs to be more people like you muz, your continued contribution in this thread has been fantastic.

Edited 21 March 2017 by ajthefox

[Izzy]

22 hours ago, ajthefox said:

There needs to be more people like you muz, your continued contribution in this thread has been fantastic.

That's very kind of you mate, thank you 

 

I'm just another bellend taking bollux on a football forum like everyone else, but this thread gives me hope that together we can all help to raise awareness of depression and remove the stigma attached to it.

 

Long may we all keep contributing by sharing our stories, advice and messages of support on here...

[GaelicFox]

On 21/03/2017 at 20:50, Izzy Muzzett said:

I once read that we are all individually different when it comes to how happy we can be in life. The author described it as 'happiness points' and we've all got a maximum number available to us - and we can't achieve any higher than that. So someone might be 'capable' of say 1000 happiness points, where the maximum I'll ever achieve maybe only 300. So whether I like it or not, I'm just never going to be as happy as some people - it's in our DNA and it's the way we're made apparently!

 

I know a couple of 'mates' who play away and cheat on their wives - then brag about it and never get caught. They're also in better health than me, earn more money than me, and have better materialistic things than me. But they're both a pair of cvnts really. Are they really happy or is it all just a show? Are they authentic and genuine people who care for others - not really. Would I rather trade places with them? - not for all the tea in china. Maybe I'll get the 'breaks' in the after life and they'll both go to hell instead. Who the fvck knows...

 

My depression started about 15 years ago following my sudden illness and major surgery. For years afterwards I felt I was being punished for all my previous wrong doings. Looking back I was a pretty nasty person for the first 30 years of my life. Selfish, driven at the expense of others, materialistic and greedy. I thought my illness was 'pay back' and god's way of forcing me to change my ways. But then someone said to me: "What about young kids with disabilities - what previous acts are they being punished for?" and that completely shifted my belief.

 

So change my ways I have, and the happier and more content with life I now am. I get joy from helping others now and try to life my life in service of those around me. Good luck to those who 'get the breaks' but I certainly won't waste my energy being jealous of them or wishing it was me instead.  I do still believe in Karma to a certain extent, and I'm a bit of a 'fatalist' in thinking our lives are pretty much mapped out for us from the start. But I also believe there's an afterlife, and I'm trying my best every day to do the right thing hoping that St Peter let's me through the pearly gates 

 

But each to their own. We all have different values and beliefs and I gave up ages ago trying to force mine on other people. But I believe we'll never have true peace of mind being jealous of others or getting upset that they get the breaks. There'll always be people better off than us, and also people much worse off than us - that's just life IMHO.

 

I hope you continue to do the morally right thing mate. The world needs more people like you who try to help others as much as they can. You should take great pride in this approach and feel good about yourself in the process. I believe you'll ultimately get your rewards my friend, whether it be in this life or the next...

 

 

 

Fantastic post 

 

 

[ajthefox]

1 hour ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

That's very kind of you mate, thank you 

 

I'm just another bellend taking bollux on a football forum like everyone else, but this thread gives me hope that together we can all help to raise awareness of depression and remove the stigma attached to it.

 

Long may we all keep contributing by sharing our stories, advice and messages of support on here...

I know what you mean mate but I wouldn't say that. Arguing about City is one thing but this is another. 

What you discussed about the book and happiness points is something that resonates with me quite a lot. I'm in a job I'm really passionate about and I'm doing things I enjoy but I must say I do feel like I see other people who seem happier in jobs they're not that arsed about and not doing an awful lot else.

 

Having said that, it's easy to assume someone is happy because they might seem fine on the outside and you don't know any better. And moreover, no-one is ever really happy, everyone has good days and bad days it's just the balance between them and how you deal with them.

[CKB]

How we all doing lately? 

 

I'm currently having a good few weeks, very pro-active and full of motivation and coping better with life. I appreciate these times so much because this is when I feel the real me, I know them demons will catch up with me again but as long as I keep at least having decent weeks then I'm somewhat still in control? if that makes any sense!

 

I've also been set up for a social inclusion service and I've been put on new tablets. I'm scared in taking them though as my last tablets really made me ill, it's kinda made me weary now

 

As for the social inclusion service, I've just gotta hope I can make all the appointments and keep at it as I think it may really help me

 

Anyway enough jibber jabber, how is everyone else getting on?

 

 

[Izzy]

7 hours ago, CKB said:

How we all doing lately? 

 

I'm currently having a good few weeks, very pro-active and full of motivation and coping better with life. I appreciate these times so much because this is when I feel the real me, I know them demons will catch up with me again but as long as I keep at least having decent weeks then I'm somewhat still in control? if that makes any sense!

 

I've also been set up for a social inclusion service and I've been put on new tablets. I'm scared in taking them though as my last tablets really made me ill, it's kinda made me weary now

 

As for the social inclusion service, I've just gotta hope I can make all the appointments and keep at it as I think it may really help me

 

Anyway enough jibber jabber, how is everyone else getting on?

 

Just imagine if these good few weeks become a good few months and then become a good few years...

 

Imagine that you've now learnt to cope with life better and full motivation is now your habit and 'default' setting...

 

Imagine appreciating these times every day for the rest of your life, rather than by exception...

 

Imagine feeling like the real you all the time, because this is your natural state of clarity and well being and how you were designed to be from birth...

 

Imagine the demons never come back. Imagine that they're now gone for good and won't ever return...

 

Imagine always being in control of what thoughts you pay attention to and choosing a positive attitude and outlook every day from now on...

 

Imagine keeping all your appointments because they will really help you...

 

Imagine that you don't have to be scared about taking the new tablets and that they won't actually make you feel weary...

 

Imagine all the above - and then believe it all to be true...

 

 

 

 

[CKB]

2 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Just imagine if these good few weeks become a good few months and then become a good few years...

 

Imagine that you've now learnt to cope with life better and full motivation is now your habit and 'default' setting...

 

Imagine appreciating these times every day for the rest of your life, rather than by exception...

 

Imagine feeling like the real you all the time, because this is your natural state of clarity and well being and how you were designed to be from birth...

 

Imagine the demons never come back. Imagine that they're now gone for good and won't ever return...

 

Imagine always being in control of what thoughts you pay attention to and choosing a positive attitude and outlook every day from now on...

 

Imagine keeping all your appointments because they will really help you...

 

Imagine that you don't have to be scared about taking the new tablets and that they won't actually make you feel weary...

 

Imagine all the above - and then believe it all to be true...

 

 

 

 

Wow! you are just born to do this mate, you must become a councillor or something because that post right there actually moved me! I think I've got some grit in my eyes

 

How are you doing anyway mate?

[Izzy]

8 hours ago, CKB said:

Wow! you are just born to do this mate, you must become a councillor or something because that post right there actually moved me! I think I've got some grit in my eyes

 

How are you doing anyway mate?

It's all good in the hood thanks mate 

 

In fact, I'm feeling pretty grateful about life right now...

 

Grateful for my GP, Consultant, Pharmacist and the NHS in general for their help in treating my previous and current illness...

 

Grateful for my wife who still loves me despite the fact I don't pay her enough compliments or tell her I love her enough...

 

Grateful that my kids are fit and healthy and living life to the full...

 

Grateful that my aging parents are healthy and able enough to be enjoying themselves on holiday in NYC right now...

 

Grateful that after my 'wobble' with work and losing my key clients earlier this year, that things have turned around and the money is coming back in...

 

Grateful that I can play golf twice a week and for all the friends I've made down the club...

 

Grateful that the dark, cold and wet weather is behind us and my favorite time of year is here...

 

Grateful that I've got 2 weeks off over Easter and another trip to Disney Orlando to look forward to in the summer...

 

And most importantly of all, grateful that I support the best football team in the world and not Forest or Cov 

 

When I'm feeling grateful and blessed for all this in my life, there's just no room left for the demons to get in...

 

 

 

 

 

[Crinklyfox]

This thread started with one brave person saying that they suffered from depression.  Since that time many more have come forward.

 

Over the past weeks and months I've been watching this thread and what is really encouraging to me is the number of posters who are suffering from depression, or who have recently suffered from depression, that are now actively contributing and reaching out to others.  This is a very positive sign for me as it indicates that there is now a community of sufferers who are trying to move forward with their lives.

 

Keep up the good work people, you can beat this.

[Man Of Faith]

Hi All, hope everyones ok. I have been referred to see a Phyciatrist at the hospital rather than counselling, with a review of my tablets. Not been in a good place for a while and now my marriage is falling apart too. Still trying my best to battle through each day but its testing at the minute. Hope others are dealing stronger than me x

[Countryfox]

4 minutes ago, Man Of Faith said:

Hi All, hope everyones ok. I have been referred to see a Phyciatrist at the hospital rather than counselling, with a review of my tablets. Not been in a good place for a while and now my marriage is falling apart too. Still trying my best to battle through each day but its testing at the minute. Hope others are dealing stronger than me x

 

We're all with you mate.  Keep strong.

[Nick]

26 minutes ago, Man Of Faith said:

Hi All, hope everyones ok. I have been referred to see a Phyciatrist at the hospital rather than counselling, with a review of my tablets. Not been in a good place for a while and now my marriage is falling apart too. Still trying my best to battle through each day but its testing at the minute. Hope others are dealing stronger than me x

Sounds like a positive move to me - Be honest and thorough with the Psychiatrist if it's the right place for you to be, your health will improve more quickly getting the right input. Let us know how it goes.

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, Man Of Faith said:

Hi All, hope everyones ok. I have been referred to see a Phyciatrist at the hospital rather than counselling, with a review of my tablets. Not been in a good place for a while and now my marriage is falling apart too. Still trying my best to battle through each day but its testing at the minute. Hope others are dealing stronger than me x

I know you're struggling mate but we're all rooting for you. I just want to climb through the screen and give you a massive big man hug really for being so brave in coming on here and putting it all out there. 

 

You may not think you're strong, but you're stronger than most by being so open and honest about your journey. You'll be in the best possible care now, with people who's job it is to help you get better. Keep going mate, there is light at the end of the tunnel for you and you'll look back on all this one day and realise what a fvcking legend you are...

 

[Nick]

17 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

It's all good in the hood thanks mate 

 

In fact, I'm feeling pretty grateful about life right now...

 

Grateful for my GP, Consultant, Pharmacist and the NHS in general for their help in treating my previous and current illness...

 

Grateful for my wife who still loves me despite the fact I don't pay her enough compliments or tell her I love her enough...

 

Grateful that my kids are fit and healthy and living life to the full...

 

Grateful that my aging parents are healthy and able enough to be enjoying themselves on holiday in NYC right now...

 

Grateful that after my 'wobble' with work and losing my key clients earlier this year, that things have turned around and the money is coming back in...

 

Grateful that I can play golf twice a week and for all the friends I've made down the club...

 

Grateful that the dark, cold and wet weather is behind us and my favorite time of year is here...

 

Grateful that I've got 2 weeks off over Easter and another trip to Disney Orlando to look forward to in the summer...

 

And most importantly of all, grateful that I support the best football team in the world and not Forest or Cov 

 

When I'm feeling grateful and blessed for all this in my life, there's just no room left for the demons to get in...

 

 

 

 

 

Great post.

[urban.spaceman]

Been on higher dosage for just over a month now. Felt better for much of it, though the Sevilla game gave me a major, major high for at least a week and a half (was at the KP AND it was my birthday)! I need to be careful sometimes because when I have great times like that it's usually followed by a low patch. Didn't happen then but was at a wedding last weekend and spent time with some old friends, had such a great time and I'm now in a lowwwww patch again. So much so that I ended up on a bit of an alcohol frenzy, playing Fifa and watching YouTube till the wee small hours. Then my mother came downstairs and started yelling at me, reminding me of why my life sucks and that I should fix it. Ended up in a blazing row when she wouldn't leave it. Trouble is I was quite drunk at the time and this afternoon she told me she'd booked an appointment as per our agreement - I have no idea what I've agreed to! So been hungover and quite low today.

 

Have been unemployed since I came home from Cape Town last year after doing an internship, and my sister's new boyfriend is trying to score points by helping me get a job at his firm working on a factory line, so I've been putting that off for a few weeks because it's just not something I've ever wanted to do - dodging questions about it etc. Then I actually looked at the paper he gave me with the contact details, and as I go online a friend messages me on Facebook to tell me that the company in Cape Town is now hiring. I'm going to try real hard to get that job - it instantly cheered me up that it's a very real possibility. So that's my mission for the rest of the week. 

 

Hope everyone is doing well, I do read people's posts but usually find that much smarter and passionate people have responded with wonderful replies before I could. Stay strong everyone. 

[Nick]

4 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Been on higher dosage for just over a month now. Felt better for much of it, though the Sevilla game gave me a major, major high for at least a week and a half (was at the KP AND it was my birthday)! I need to be careful sometimes because when I have great times like that it's usually followed by a low patch. Didn't happen then but was at a wedding last weekend and spent time with some old friends, had such a great time and I'm now in a lowwwww patch again. So much so that I ended up on a bit of an alcohol frenzy, playing Fifa and watching YouTube till the wee small hours. Then my mother came downstairs and started yelling at me, reminding me of why my life sucks and that I should fix it. Ended up in a blazing row when she wouldn't leave it. Trouble is I was quite drunk at the time and this afternoon she told me she'd booked an appointment as per our agreement - I have no idea what I've agreed to! So been hungover and quite low today.

 

Have been unemployed since I came home from Cape Town last year after doing an internship, and my sister's new boyfriend is trying to score points by helping me get a job at his firm working on a factory line, so I've been putting that off for a few weeks because it's just not something I've ever wanted to do - dodging questions about it etc. Then I actually looked at the paper he gave me with the contact details, and as I go online a friend messages me on Facebook to tell me that the company in Cape Town is now hiring. I'm going to try real hard to get that job - it instantly cheered me up that it's a very real possibility. So that's my mission for the rest of the week. 

 

Hope everyone is doing well, I do read people's posts but usually find that much smarter and passionate people have responded with wonderful replies before I could. Stay strong everyone. 

PM'd.