Mike Oxlong Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 Tell Mrs Singh to get back home before her husband wakes up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonthefox Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 Fart . Much to the annoyance of Mrs thefox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trav Le Bleu Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 Open my eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jattdogg Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 Make a cup of tea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystonFox Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 30 mins HIIT on turbo trainer with two fresh beetroot. Then I go to costa and starbucks and Pret A Manger and Neros to queue up for the coffee I so badly crave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Great Boos Up Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 s , s and s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stadt Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 have a really yellow piss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Costock_Fox Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 Storage wars, walnut whip, wank into a flannel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parafox Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 6 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said: I get up when I want, except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustmen I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea and I think about leaving the house I feed the pigeons, I sometimes feed the sparrows too It gives me a sense of enormous well-being And then I'm happy for the rest of the day, safe in the knowledge there will always be a bit of my heart devoted to it Smart ass mutherfugger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parafox Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 1 hour ago, Great Boos Up said: s , s and s. Yep me too, in any order Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bovril Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 Take 30 seconds to work out where I am and how I got there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parafox Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 Give the wife a titslap and tell her to get my ****ing eggs benedict up here pretty damn sharpish if she wants that BJ she so badly needs to give me. I don't care that I'm 61, I've earned it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fazzyfox Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 I count the empty cider bottles on the floor and think, "If I drank all of those last night I should feel more hungover than this." Then I realise I'm seeing double. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Costock_Fox Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 6 minutes ago, Parafox said: Give the wife a titslap and tell her to get my ****ing eggs benedict up here pretty damn sharpish if she wants that BJ she so badly needs to give me. I don't care that I'm 61, I've earned it. You missed your first wake up call where you popped a small blue pill 30 minutes before . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
separator Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 1 hour ago, Great Boos Up said: s , s and s. Shit, Shave and (5 knuckle) Shuffle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parafox Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 4 minutes ago, separator said: Shit, Shave and (5 knuckle) Shuffle? Say my prayers. 2 out of 3 ain't bad though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob1742 Posted 6 January 2017 Share Posted 6 January 2017 Fart. Everyone must fart when they wake up. If they don't, then they ain't a proper bloke. Then a cup of tea and as soon as the first mouthful hits my stomach I need to go for a clear out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuna Posted 7 January 2017 Share Posted 7 January 2017 Knock one out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raj Posted 7 January 2017 Share Posted 7 January 2017 Clear out the system whilst checking my phone....like I am now!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Prussian Posted 7 January 2017 Share Posted 7 January 2017 Disabling the alarm clock on my smartphone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl the Llama Posted 7 January 2017 Share Posted 7 January 2017 Throw some rags on and get out the door before I make myself late. If I'm lucky I'll have enough time to brush my teeth and slap some water on my face too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merging Cultures Posted 7 January 2017 Share Posted 7 January 2017 Scratch and sniff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russell sprout Posted 7 January 2017 Share Posted 7 January 2017 Have a fag then take a dump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rincewind Posted 7 January 2017 Share Posted 7 January 2017 wake up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StanSP Posted 7 January 2017 Share Posted 7 January 2017 13 hours ago, Parafox said: Yep me too, in any order surely it's best to shit before you shower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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