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James.

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Hostage released for pizza

An Australian prison guard held hostage for two days was released after a ransom demand for pizzas was met.

Up to 20 inmates at the Risdon Prison in Hobart, Tasmania, seized the guard in a protest over conditions in the maximum security jail.

Initially they made 24 demands to authorities, but eventually gave up their hostage after agreeing to 15 pizzas, Coke and garlic bread instead.

"At midnight, the final sticking point with the inmates was that they were requiring pizzas to be delivered. Our staff member was negotiated out with the delivery of 15 pizzas," Graeme Barber, Tasmania's director of prisons, told The Advocate newspaper.

The guard is recovering from his ordeal at home.

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Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said
In Medford, Oregon, a 27-year-old jobless man with an MBA blamed his college degree for his murder of three people. "There are too many business grads out there," he said. "If I had chosen another field, all this may not have happened
A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system...
An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts...
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual leadership". He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting to please come out and give himself up.
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From the Isle of Wight County Press about a year ago and copied word-for-word from the cutting that I snipped out of the paper;

Sheep worry

Police are investigating a complaint that a flock of sheep had been sexually assaulted on the island.

The alleged offences, involving 11 sheep, are believed to have taken place over several months.

Police are not revealing the location of the incidents.

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7360416.stm

Priest missing on balloon flight

A Roman Catholic priest who used 1,000 helium balloons to try to break a flying record has gone missing off the southern coast of Brazil.

Father Adelir de Carli lifted off from the port city of Paranagua on Sunday, equipped with a parachute, thermal suit, satellite phone and a GPS device.

A sea and air rescue operation is under way after he lost contact with port authority officials late on Sunday.

He wanted to break a 19-hour record for the most hours flying with balloons.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

He's been taken up :P

Edited by Zingari
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http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1085073.ece

A POLICE officer accused of molesting young girls has been charged with carrying out sex acts on COWS.

Officer Robert Melia Jr, 38, from Burlington County, New Jersey, US, has been charged with four counts of animal cruelty after he was molesting the farm animals in 2006.

Melia and his former girlfriend Heather Lewis were previously charged with three counts of aggravated sexual assault and one count of criminal sexual contact with three girls from 2003 until 2006

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Invisible Man Gets Invisible Tan

The Invisible Man expressed consternation yesterday that nobody could see the truly righteous tan he has been working on.

The Invisible Man - scientist Jack Griffin, who, while studying optical density, performed an experimental procedure on himself to change his refractive index, thereby becoming invisible - claims that the tan is a nice even bronzed shade, with no tan lines whatsoever, since he tans in the buff.

Former colleague Dr. Arthur Kemp scoffs at the claim. "You know Griffin's an albino, don't you? Can you say 'extra crispy'? He'd broil like a lobster if he tried to tan. He's quite insane, you know, and this is probably just more of his delusional attention-seeking, world-dominating bullshit."

Police reported that the Invisible Man is now wanted on charges of public indecency, having sunbathed naked on a non-nude public beach.

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  • 2 weeks later...

if anyone has the daily mail today , look on page 32 and there is an article about a bug that has swept through a hotel and turned it into a nightmare holiday hotel / hospital .

but on page 59 they are advertising special priced holidays for daily mail readers to the very same hotel :D

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