I was touched by Horus yesterday, but don't tell your mummy.
Once upon a time, there was a bearded man living in a cave.
He was dressed in nothing but a crappy coat and some socks whose colours didn't match.
So this old geezer lived there, day in, day out. Eating, drinking, sleeping et al. as he pleased.
Then one special day, the elderly eremite had his coming-out. He didn't just simply walk out into the broad daylight (which obviously was too easy a solution). Neither did he crawl out on his three feet and five hands, and he certainly didn't drive a Hummer, for the holy, yet quite cold and lone tunnel - which he had dug himself with his own bare left foot at the age of eleven - was too narrow to hold such a special means of transportation.
We shan't discuss any further details of his miraculous and genious exit plan.
Suffice to say, at one point he managed to reach the surface, welcoming the sun on his spotty face, whilst uttering a whole lot of nasty and unheard of dirty curse words.
A few weeks and a about a few dozen smokes of weed later, he had an idea. Yes. An idea.
Some might call it Divine Intervention. Others fate. Others bad luck.
Following a hefty phase of procrastination, he took a random stone, carved in the shape of a rugby ball (many a moon before the sport was actually invented), wrapped it around his tongue and threw himself into the deep, still water. Thus was created the first case of Fluid Suicide.
A couple of decades later, the message about this untimely and gruesome demise had spread around the region and a bored & brainless bunch started calling that man a "hero"/"messiah"/"good lord"/"whatever" and initiated a cult following.
To be as close to their Master as possible, they happily ended their own life the exact same way, but only after adding a whopping ten friggin' Karma years of Zen-like meditation.*
*Thinking about it, I must say some people are clearly nuts. I shall put on some rubbish clothes, grow a beard or something that resembles a beard, live in a cave from now on and refrain from mankind altogether.
QuoteI notice you still don't acknowledge that you're a Muslim with your own agenda (Thracian)
Bugger me maddog!
I love the in depth analysis, very informative and all that, but the inside of a vagina feels so great. I can highly recommend it. (Bilo)
Common sense must come with being in my age bracket.
Remind me of when The Walkers has even so much as resembled the Kop at Anfield and I won't post on here ever again.
He (Michael Owen) won't come. If he does, I'll run naked through Melbourne. (SOCCEROO FOX)