Depression

[ajthefox]

In terms of advice, I would just echo what Robhawk said about going to the health and well-being team at your uni, because they may well have more time for you than your GP.

[Guest]

Another thing to know is you will get a lot of comments like this.  It is well meaning, but it is bullshit.  People wouldn't say that to someone with cancer, and depression and other mental illness is just as much a medical problem.  No offence Countryfox, but you should have stopped at don't feel qualified to comment.

 

 

He may have been a little clumsy in his statement, but he's not entirely wrong. As someone who has gone through a pretty severe episode of depression, I've found a lot of value in focusing on other people. Not as a means of comparison, or to say "I'm glad I'm not that bad" but with the idea of doing what I can to help them. I've just signed up to volunteer at a hospital for that very reason, and even just the thought of it brightens my day.

 

Of course everyone's situation is unique, and medication may be the best option for some people.

[Vardinhio]

Well done on speaking out, lots of people suffer in silence.

 

Speak to your parents and confide in a friend. Try to make decisions that will benefit your mental heath, if university is causing a lot of the problems then it may be best to leave. Nothing to be ashamed about!

[Grewks]

I've suffered from the illness/disease (it eats away at you, making you feel hopeless) for the past year and a half. I've often contemplated about ending my life in the last few weeks. I go to university but can't say I particular enjoy it. I rarely turn up to university through anxiety and fear.

 

I haven't told my parents/friends. My friends see me in a completely different light. A cocky, light-hearted individual. 

 

A combination of guilt and comforting myself by listening to music has meant I haven't taken my life, however I feel completely and utterly miserable. I spoke to my course leader about it, and ended up breaking down half way through the meeting. I really do think leaving university would be the best thing to do, I think it would make me happier, but I'd feel like a failure towards my parents who have obviously paid lots of money for me to come here.

 

I'd also like to thank this current Leicester team/staff for giving me hope. What Ranieri, Mahrez, Kante, Vardy and co have achieved this season is unbelievable, and it gives me real hope to carry and battle on. Even if we don't win the league, this campaign has been amazing and made me almost forget the Taylor/Levein/Holloway years...

 

Anyway, I'm not sure what my intention was to post this on here, I just wanted to know if anyone has ever felt anything similar to me, and what they did to combat this.

 

 

Snap!

 

 

Personally, i never expected to be this 'bored' at Uni.

 

 

Most free time is spent just simply chilling with flatmates....which gets real boring after a while.

 

 

The main problem I have with Uni is the rollercoaster of emotions. You can be down for 2-3 days whilst waiting for the next big night out....and then have the best night of your life whilst out.

[Pinkman]

Hi lads,

 

Just logged back on to FoxesTalk and been taken aback with the number of replies and amount of PM's from fellow fans.

 

Thank you so much for the advice and support, this is another reason why I'm so proud to support this football club.

[James.]

One thing this thread should tell you is that you are far from alone.

 

Absolutely see your GP and get a referral. There are professionals who can and will help you. I can say from experience that this works.

 

Read about mindfulness, meditate (seriously) and do some yoga.

 

Talk about it to whoever will listen and care.

 

Things will get better.

Edited 18 February 2016 by James.

[act smiley]

I've suffered from the illness/disease (it eats away at you, making you feel hopeless) for the past year and a half. I've often contemplated about ending my life in the last few weeks. I go to university but can't say I particular enjoy it. I rarely turn up to university through anxiety and fear.

 

I haven't told my parents/friends. My friends see me in a completely different light. A cocky, light-hearted individual. 

 

A combination of guilt and comforting myself by listening to music has meant I haven't taken my life, however I feel completely and utterly miserable. I spoke to my course leader about it, and ended up breaking down half way through the meeting. I really do think leaving university would be the best thing to do, I think it would make me happier, but I'd feel like a failure towards my parents who have obviously paid lots of money for me to come here.

 

I'd also like to thank this current Leicester team/staff for giving me hope. What Ranieri, Mahrez, Kante, Vardy and co have achieved this season is unbelievable, and it gives me real hope to carry and battle on. Even if we don't win the league, this campaign has been amazing and made me almost forget the Taylor/Levein/Holloway years...

 

Anyway, I'm not sure what my intention was to post this on here, I just wanted to know if anyone has ever felt anything similar to me, and what they did to combat this.

 

As others have said, go to your GP, get referred to a specialist - as you've mentioned suicidal thoughts, they'll be straight onto getting you some specialist help.

 

Speaking from experience, often the best option is to stick on the course - but then, not always. The problem is that when you're in the middle of it, it's difficult to see whether the problems you're having with the course are because of the course itself, or are just another symptom of the depression. I think getting some counselling and discussing it with them would be a good idea before making any final decision on that.

There's definitely value in trying to get your mind onto external things, but there's a big difference between that and just suppressing it - getting out and exercising is a good thing. It's usually recommended as a thing for mild cases, as getting outside is easier then, but I don't see how it could hurt.

 

[Countryfox]

He may have been a little clumsy in his statement, but he's not entirely wrong. As someone who has gone through a pretty severe episode of depression, I've found a lot of value in focusing on other people. Not as a means of comparison, or to say "I'm glad I'm not that bad" but with the idea of doing what I can to help them. I've just signed up to volunteer at a hospital for that very reason, and even just the thought of it brightens my day.

 

Of course everyone's situation is unique, and medication may be the best option for some people.

 

Thanks Winch thats exactly what I meant and whilst not really suffering from it myself I have been up close and personal to someone that did have it.    I'm aware there is a massive spectrum of degrees of depression but for this person focussing on others and trying to help them helped her massively.  Thats all I was trying to say and now I'll butt out.    But good luck Pinkman and I really hope you get through this.   

[Wymsey]

It's easy to think you're alone and compare yourself to others; I've had this thought a few times, especially whilst I was unemployed.

Discussing it is the best way, even though it might take a while before things improve.

There's a rise in young people being depressed/dark thoughts/self harming attempts etc, so the sooner it gets sorted the better.

Edited 18 February 2016 by Wymeswold fox

[Rincewind]

Just found this on my Facebook timeline posted by someone that I know. I know some people that  have suffered depression of some sort although I do not know enough about them to share.

This has information and an animated video. I won't post it as I do not know if it will be OK. I found nothing wrong with it though and it may help. It says what has been said in the thread. That there are many forms of depression and many solutions.

 

http://www.idealistrevolution.org/what-is-depression-let-this-animation-with-a-dog-shed-light-on-it/

 

There is some other stuff on the Youtube link that may be helpful.

Edited 19 February 2016 by Rincewind

[Royston.]

Snap!

 

 

Personally, i never expected to be this 'bored' at Uni.

 

 

Most free time is spent just simply chilling with flatmates....which gets real boring after a while.

 

 

The main problem I have with Uni is the rollercoaster of emotions. You can be down for 2-3 days whilst waiting for the next big night out....and then have the best night of your life whilst out.

 

is that a joke?

[leicesterlad1989]

Yet you guys think you need to talk about my post in the thread.

 

We already have a very long thread with some great advice on depression, maybe you could've just pointed him to that.

 

Everyone suffers from depression to a greater or lesser degree at many times in their lives. Either get counselling or put your life into perspective yourself.

 

What about when those things do not work you insensitive bastard? If only life was that simple eh?

 

People may have down days and feel sad but not "everyone" suffers from depression. Having a fiancée that suffers from depression and anxiety I can see first hand how difficult getting through the day can be at her lowest. She goes counselling and yes it helps but it isn't a miracle cure. If anything it's a way to try to rationalise (possibly not the right word as nothing to people suffering from depression can be rationalised) why she feels the way she does. It's also a way to vent her anger and frustrations about things that to me and you (if you aren't a sufferer) may find stupid but aren't to her.

 

My honest advice to the OP would be to talk to their parents. As some have said, going to the doctors to admit how you feel is possibly going to be the hardest thing you ever to. Being there to witness my misses breakdown was possibly the worst thing I've had to see but she told me having me there helped. Get your parents to come with you for moral support.

 

Try counselling. Bare in mind that there could be a bit of a waiting list though the NHS but I know it does help try to understand why you feel the way you do.

 

Finally, don't be afraid of medication. My misses is on a real low dose due to having a low liver count and it has helped her. She's had no real side affects to note but she doesn't have too many bad days anymore. I think it's learning to live with it. Just remember you aren't alone.

 

As an aside, my mum also suffers from depression and she followed a similar pattern as to what my misses did with regards to counselling and medication.

[Rincewind]

Take a look at the link to the videos. They give good advice for coping and what to do and what not to do and say to someone suffering with depression.

[Karljohn]

Pinkman. ..also look up anxiety united website or on twitter. Very useful

[Bellend Sebastian]

Alright Pinkman, sorry for not replying sooner, being meaning to since your original post.

 

Basically what you've described in your first two paragraphs is exactly what I was like 20 years ago (when I was at university too, coincidentally).  If I can tell you one thing that you might find helpful, is that I'm not like that now, and I think if I'd known then that things could be different I'd have taken a lot of comfort from that.  My problem was that I wasn't sure they could be, which is why it took another 7 or 8 years to properly sort myself out.

 

I've got to be careful here because we're all different and I'm not sure how you got to be in the position you're in, and what worked for me may not work for others, but hopefully if I relate a bit of my journey (Christ, sounds dreadful doesn't it) you'll get some insight into how things could pan out.

 

First thing to emphasise is that although there are no quick fixes, there's not really any reason why you should leave things to drag on for ever and ever like I bloody did.  Part of my problem was that because my depression wasn't a constant - or at least, it was tolerable some of the time - during the better phases you just feel glad that you don't feel so awful and are thankful for that, which is a de-motivator to actually doing anything about it.  Don't do what I did and have moments of terrifying clarity years after it all started, usually in the middle of the night, when you realise that you've actually given up a huge chunk of your life to feeling shit.

 

As James, Finners, and others have said, get yourself to the doctor's.  Regardless of what actually happens in your appointment, it's a huge step - it's you acknowledging the problem and taking a positive step to doing something about it.  GPs are generally up to speed on mental health stuff these days but there's always the odd willy puller so if they take you any less than completely seriously, just go and see someone else.  In terms of what will happen then and what can be done for you, I'm guessing a mixture of counselling and medication will be suggested.  The only thing I'd say about the latter is for heaven's sake don't have any hang ups about taking anti-depressant drugs - if I'd known how effective they can be, I'd have been begging for them years before I actually started taking them.  Again, there's loads of different types and I only have experience of one, Fluoxetine (also still known as Prozac in some circles), which at the low dosages I was on never felt remotely like I was on medication - I gradually started to feel better, and in a way that felt entirely natural and not remotely artificial.

 

The way I see it, there were three parts to my recovery - the medication didn't solve anything, it just raised my mood enough to make me a functioning human being again, and stop everything being such a ***ing effort. The counselling forced me to confront the things that had made me unhappy in the first place, and no word of a lie, stuff that I'd dwelt on for years and was basically stopping me from living anything like a full life, when teased out of me by the counsellor and looked at in the stark light of day, turned out to be bollocks and not worth giving a toss about.  The third bit, and this is probably the thing that will seem the most daunting at this point is what came from me, because ultimately you have to fix yourself.  You might need some help, which is where the counselling and meds come in, but really all these things are about helping you to become strong enough and in a position to come to terms with your situation and enabling you to sort it out, basically.  I know we get cross when folk say to a depressed person 'pull yourself together', but they're actually right, that's what needs to happen, it's just that those saying that usually have no concept that the person they're saying that to may well have reached the point where you might as well ask them to climb the North face of the Eiger or become a concert pianist by Tuesday.  We sometimes find ourselves in situations where we need some help, and there's no shame in that.

 

When I was depressed the very notion that I could somehow overcome it seemed fantastical, ridiculous, and I saw it as something that hopefully someone would fix for me.  This isn't how it worked out, and I'm glad it didn't, because knowing that it's ultimately something you do have some control over (even if it doesn't seem like it at the time) is very empowering, and the satisfaction of sorting it out cancels out any stupid shame or stigma I felt at taking antidepressants or talking to a lady I didn't know about all my problems a thousand times over.

 

I don't know if this helps, and I think you'll have picked up from the thread already that you are far from alone in feeling like you have been.  I wish you the very best in your efforts to improve your situation - you will, for certain

[Col city fan]

I found Uni a strange time. On the one hand it was great. I was captain of the college football team and together with the vice captain, used to write an article after each game, basically a piss take of how crap we all were, which got published each week in the college rag. Some of the nights out were stonking too I remember.

BUT I was full time and with lectures and seminars did 7 hours per week. 7 hours having to attend. The rest was 'self directed study'. And as a person who will do anything other than academic work, that was difficult.

I had too much time on my hands. Too much slobbing about with my mates and too much chat. ..so that it could become boring.

I was always pretty skint too, being a student.

If I had my student time over, I'd have gotten a job there. Probably a few nights per week bar working. That still would leave some very long days though and you can only study for so long.

Uni was a funny experience. Magic in some ways...very long and boring in others. I think the key is to keep BUSY. So as to stop dwelling over stuff that will get you down.

[Crinklyfox]

There's a lot of good advice already been given but I'd like to add my experience in case it's of any help.

 

I was diagnosed with depression around 15 years ago.  I didn't know that I was depressed, I went to the doctors because I wasn't sleeping properly, going to bed as usual but waking up after 3-4 hours then staying awake the rest of the night, which resulted in me being permanently tired at work and at home.  The doctor said that I was suffering from depression and that my sleep pattern was a classic sign of it.  He also said that depression caused the body to stop producing some necessary chemicals which led to more depression, effectively a vicious cycle.  He prescribed me some pills to ease my symptoms and get my body functioning properly again, I was on them for about a month.

 

However this didn't address the root cause of the depression.  I'm not going to bother you with details but in a nutshell I was concentrating on the bad things that had happened in my life and ignoring the good.  The doctor recommended that I read a book on cognitive therapy (which I'd never heard of).  I did and it helped me put my life into perspective, I've never suffered from clinical depression since.

 

A postscript to this is that I found that a colleague of mine, a really nice guy with a decent job, a settled family life and what many of us would consider to be happy circumstances was also suffering from depression. We talked about my experiences, I gave him the book on cognitive therapy that I had found so beneficial and it worked for him as well.  My conclusion is that it may not be a cure-all but it's a technique that can help some people.

[Russell sprout]

I suffer with depression myself,never though old see this on foxes talk,

I'm currently on 40mg citilipram which is really high,I'm in a really shit place meself,the daft part is I'm only relaxed when watching the city,

I can relate to everything said but it's really difficult to talk out about it,my cup is always half empty and I think my family will be better without me

[ajthefox]

There's a lot of good advice already been given but I'd like to add my experience in case it's of any help.

 

I was diagnosed with depression around 15 years ago.  I didn't know that I was depressed, I went to the doctors because I wasn't sleeping properly, going to bed as usual but waking up after 3-4 hours then staying awake the rest of the night, which resulted in me being permanently tired at work and at home.  The doctor said that I was suffering from depression and that my sleep pattern was a classic sign of it.  He also said that depression caused the body to stop producing some necessary chemicals which led to more depression, effectively a vicious cycle.  He prescribed me some pills to ease my symptoms and get my body functioning properly again, I was on them for about a month.

 

However this didn't address the root cause of the depression.  I'm not going to bother you with details but in a nutshell I was concentrating on the bad things that had happened in my life and ignoring the good.  The doctor recommended that I read a book on cognitive therapy (which I'd never heard of).  I did and it helped me put my life into perspective, I've never suffered from clinical depression since.

 

A postscript to this is that I found that a colleague of mine, a really nice guy with a decent job, a settled family life and what many of us would consider to be happy circumstances was also suffering from depression. We talked about my experiences, I gave him the book on cognitive therapy that I had found so beneficial and it worked for him as well.  My conclusion is that it may not be a cure-all but it's a technique that can help some people.

 

Can you remember what the book is called?

[Countryfox]

I suffer with depression myself,never though old see this on foxes talk,

I'm currently on 40mg citilipram which is really high,I'm in a really shit place meself,the daft part is I'm only relaxed when watching the city,

I can relate to everything said but it's really difficult to talk out about it,my cup is always half empty and I think my family will be better without me

 

Sorry but this depression stuff is making me depressed.   PM me please Sprout with a free day and your postcode.   I'm coming round and we're out for the day.

[Grewks]

is that a joke?

 

 

No.

 

 

Boredom is extremely common.

[Col city fan]

Alright Pinkman, sorry for not replying sooner, being meaning to since your original post.

Basically what you've described in your first two paragraphs is exactly what I was like 20 years ago (when I was at university too, coincidentally). If I can tell you one thing that you might find helpful, is that I'm not like that now, and I think if I'd known then that things could be different I'd have taken a lot of comfort from that. My problem was that I wasn't sure they could be, which is why it took another 7 or 8 years to properly sort myself out.

I've got to be careful here because we're all different and I'm not sure how you got to be in the position you're in, and what worked for me may not work for others, but hopefully if I relate a bit of my journey (Christ, sounds dreadful doesn't it) you'll get some insight into how things could pan out.

First thing to emphasise is that although there are no quick fixes, there's not really any reason why you should leave things to drag on for ever and ever like I bloody did. Part of my problem was that because my depression wasn't a constant - or at least, it was tolerable some of the time - during the better phases you just feel glad that you don't feel so awful and are thankful for that, which is a de-motivator to actually doing anything about it. Don't do what I did and have moments of terrifying clarity years after it all started, usually in the middle of the night, when you realise that you've actually given up a huge chunk of your life to feeling shit.

As James, Finners, and others have said, get yourself to the doctor's. Regardless of what actually happens in your appointment, it's a huge step - it's you acknowledging the problem and taking a positive step to doing something about it. GPs are generally up to speed on mental health stuff these days but there's always the odd willy puller so if they take you any less than completely seriously, just go and see someone else. In terms of what will happen then and what can be done for you, I'm guessing a mixture of counselling and medication will be suggested. The only thing I'd say about the latter is for heaven's sake don't have any hang ups about taking anti-depressant drugs - if I'd known how effective they can be, I'd have been begging for them years before I actually started taking them. Again, there's loads of different types and I only have experience of one, Fluoxetine (also still known as Prozac in some circles), which at the low dosages I was on never felt remotely like I was on medication - I gradually started to feel better, and in a way that felt entirely natural and not remotely artificial.

The way I see it, there were three parts to my recovery - the medication didn't solve anything, it just raised my mood enough to make me a functioning human being again, and stop everything being such a ***ing effort. The counselling forced me to confront the things that had made me unhappy in the first place, and no word of a lie, stuff that I'd dwelt on for years and was basically stopping me from living anything like a full life, when teased out of me by the counsellor and looked at in the stark light of day, turned out to be bollocks and not worth giving a toss about. The third bit, and this is probably the thing that will seem the most daunting at this point is what came from me, because ultimately you have to fix yourself. You might need some help, which is where the counselling and meds come in, but really all these things are about helping you to become strong enough and in a position to come to terms with your situation and enabling you to sort it out, basically. I know we get cross when folk say to a depressed person 'pull yourself together', but they're actually right, that's what needs to happen, it's just that those saying that usually have no concept that the person they're saying that to may well have reached the point where you might as well ask them to climb the North face of the Eiger or become a concert pianist by Tuesday. We sometimes find ourselves in situations where we need some help, and there's no shame in that.

When I was depressed the very notion that I could somehow overcome it seemed fantastical, ridiculous, and I saw it as something that hopefully someone would fix for me. This isn't how it worked out, and I'm glad it didn't, because knowing that it's ultimately something you do have some control over (even if it doesn't seem like it at the time) is very empowering, and the satisfaction of sorting it out cancels out any stupid shame or stigma I felt at taking antidepressants or talking to a lady I didn't know about all my problems a thousand times over.

I don't know if this helps, and I think you'll have picked up from the thread already that you are far from alone in feeling like you have been. I wish you the very best in your efforts to improve your situation - you will, for certain

[Thracian]

Depression? I know less about depression than the gay movement.

I even wore a rainbow coloured scarf the other day because it made me feel cheerful until someone told me if was like flying a flag for "Gay Pride" and I had to chuck it in a lidded box and find a subdued alternative!

But then, not being inclined to depression surely points towards the remedy and I'd say fill your time with things you want to do and which bring you satisfaction or a sense of worth while ditching the things that don't.

Abandoning Foxestalk perhaps emphasises the challenge of the remedy but then I never said it was easy.

Finally or failing that, there's a girl of West Indian extract in Newark. She has to be one of the most beautiful people who ever walked this earth...and a better antidote to all forms of depression than you'll ever get on prescription.

You don't need to be her lover or anything that makes demands and creates friction, for all that you'll want to be. Just spend half an hour with her in a cafe everytime you're down and you'll feel like singing from the rooftops for weeks on end.

I don't suppose she's available on the NHS but she sure ought to be.

PS: The meditation mentioned earlier should help too. Fifteen minutes of quiet, positive, thought processes followed by 15 minutes of deeper mental meandering into the peaceful tranquility beyond.

Edited 20 February 2016 by Thracian

[Crinklyfox]

Can you remember what the book is called?

The books called The Feeling Good Handbook by David D Burns MD.  It's Americanised but the advice is universal. 

[Rincewind]

When I was unemployed getting involved with a community news group and Down Not Out was the best thing to stop me feeling down. Hearing the stories of others working alongside made me realise that I was lucky. Among the the things they had endured and overcome was depression, homelessness,being in jail and domestic violence.

As others have said keeping busy helps a great deal. It is not easy if others put you down. You can end up thinking it yourself resulting in low confidence. I accepted that I would  not be a high achiever and adapted my life accordingly and found things that I enjoyed and could do. Colleagues at DNO praised me for my contributions and made me feel good about myself.

We all have an hidden talent. Embrace it.