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Pinkman

Depression

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12 hours ago, tom27111 said:

I've seen a doctor tonight, on some meds and booked in for some counselling.

 

It's difficult to think that a couple of little pills will help, but I'll give it a go.

 

 

Hi Tom.  I've posted on this topic before but it was a while ago.  I suffered from depression some years ago - I didn't realise it was depression until I was told so by the doctor.  He told me that depression causes physical changes to your body and that when depressed your body can stop producing hormones that make you feel better, it's a vicious circle.  Anyway I was on pills for about a month after which I was in a much better state, I've never been back on them since.

 

One terrible thing about depression is that you can't see a way out of it.  Problems appear insurmountable and permanent.  If I learned one thing from my experience it's that although I couldn't see a way out it didn't mean that there wasn't a way out.  I've read your posts and you've every right to be low, but that doesn't mean that you won't ever feel better again.  A problem shared can ease the weight so please keep posting.

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Thanks everyone for your support.

 

I feel so silly and ashamed by it all.

 

With regards to my living situation, I can't get any help because I'm in employment. I've got a steady job and get paid next week.

 

At the end of the month, I get a lump sum of cash, so I'm hoping to relocate somewhere early in the new year and just stay in a b&b until I find something when I'm out of hospital. 

 

Starting from scratch again is something that upsets me.

 

I can be transferred pretty much anywhere in the country with work.

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3 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

Thanks everyone for your support.

 

I feel so silly and ashamed by it all.

 

With regards to my living situation, I can't get any help because I'm in employment. I've got a steady job and get paid next week.

 

At the end of the month, I get a lump sum of cash, so I'm hoping to relocate somewhere early in the new year and just stay in a b&b until I find something when I'm out of hospital. 

 

Starting from scratch again is something that upsets me.

 

I can be transferred pretty much anywhere in the country with work.

You should never feel silly or ashamed. A lot of people, more than you could ever imagine have been there. 

 

Maybe starting from scratch can be like a new start for you? Rid yourself of all the negative factors which contribute to your feelings. Keep hanging in there!

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3 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

Thanks everyone for your support.

 

I feel so silly and ashamed by it all.

 

With regards to my living situation, I can't get any help because I'm in employment. I've got a steady job and get paid next week.

 

At the end of the month, I get a lump sum of cash, so I'm hoping to relocate somewhere early in the new year and just stay in a b&b until I find something when I'm out of hospital. 

 

Starting from scratch again is something that upsets me.

 

I can be transferred pretty much anywhere in the country with work.

Please don't feel ashamed.  Depression is an illness and there's no shame in being ill.  I know where you're coming from.

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50 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

Thanks everyone for your support.

 

I feel so silly and ashamed by it all.

 

With regards to my living situation, I can't get any help because I'm in employment. I've got a steady job and get paid next week.

 

At the end of the month, I get a lump sum of cash, so I'm hoping to relocate somewhere early in the new year and just stay in a b&b until I find something when I'm out of hospital. 

 

Starting from scratch again is something that upsets me.

 

I can be transferred pretty much anywhere in the country with work.

You are not silly, you are unwell.

There is no more reason to be ashamed than if you got the flu.

Try to think of it as a fresh start.  You have a flexible job which is fantastic.  Some money coming in which can help with getting a place to live.  Things are not as bad as thy seem.

You can do this!!

 

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10 hours ago, tom27111 said:

Thanks everyone for your support.

 

I feel so silly and ashamed by it all.

 

With regards to my living situation, I can't get any help because I'm in employment. I've got a steady job and get paid next week.

 

At the end of the month, I get a lump sum of cash, so I'm hoping to relocate somewhere early in the new year and just stay in a b&b until I find something when I'm out of hospital. 

 

Starting from scratch again is something that upsets me.

 

I can be transferred pretty much anywhere in the country with work.

 

Mental illnesses are same as any physical illnesses, if your lungs or your immune system etc are allowed to fall ill then why not your brain or your mental wellbeing as well?  

 

Depression is now more recognised than ever and by being open about it, you are contributing to the awareness of it which is good.  Please feel free to post on here about your progress anytime.  There is a thread about the progress of a poster with a son with complex health conditions which are very beneficial for them.  All the best mate. 

 

7 hours ago, leicsmac said:

I don't really have much to contribute beyond what has already been said, but viewing this thread has restored some of my faith in humanity. Great to see

 

I'll second this. 

Edited by The Blur
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3 hours ago, tom27111 said:

Thanks everyone for your support.

 

I feel so silly and ashamed by it all.

 

With regards to my living situation, I can't get any help because I'm in employment. I've got a steady job and get paid next week.

 

At the end of the month, I get a lump sum of cash, so I'm hoping to relocate somewhere early in the new year and just stay in a b&b until I find something when I'm out of hospital. 

 

Starting from scratch again is something that upsets me.

 

I can be transferred pretty much anywhere in the country with work.

Never, ever feel ashamed.

 

I suffer with depression too and it's especially bad sometimes but always try and remember that things can only get better - you're getting help now which is great news. Also like others have said, being open about it you really are helping with awareness about it for others particularly with exactly how bad things can get. 

 

@The Blur mentioned it above but it's important to reiterate: mental illness is just like a physical illness. Depression affects you physically and can have a profound effect on your physical health. Trying to keep it together and get positive is ****ing exhausting. The meds will help you get bring yourself onto an even keel though so make sure you stay on them the best you can and don't run out (I ran out last month and my anxieties led to me not going back to the docs to get more for 3 weeks cos I'm an idiot. City's form in that time didn't help - although Saturday definitely did!).

 

Your job sounds great - look at that as a brilliant new opportunity; being unemployed myself I'd love a job that offers me that (although anywhere in the would would suit me better). They got any vacancies?!

 

We're all here for support mate.

 

Cheers.

 

 

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Thanks again to you all.

 

Having another shit day, but there's no magic cure.

 

I'm on Citalopram now, got to give it a couple of weeks to kick in.

 

Still feel pretty hopeless about things, but hopefully the pills help and get my head right. The rest is down to me to sort out.

 

I'm the kind of guy that would've told myself to man up 5 years ago!

 

Thanks again for all your encouragement and understanding. I have a little look on here and it really does help. 

 

I'm trying to motivate myself to get better.

 

It's a real shit, but I'll keep fighting.

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5 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

Thanks again to you all.

 

Having another shit day, but there's no magic cure.

 

I'm on Citalopram now, got to give it a couple of weeks to kick in.

 

Still feel pretty hopeless about things, but hopefully the pills help and get my head right. The rest is down to me to sort out.

 

I'm the kind of guy that would've told myself to man up 5 years ago!

 

Thanks again for all your encouragement and understanding. I have a little look on here and it really does help. 

 

I'm trying to motivate myself to get better.

 

It's a real shit, but I'll keep fighting.

Citalopram will help, but be prepared for a few side effects while your body gets used to it.  And as you say it takes a couple of weeks to work.

 

If you can, try to do a bit of exercise as well, the meds will only take you so far.

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4 hours ago, tom27111 said:

Thanks everyone for your support.

 

I feel so silly and ashamed by it all.

 

With regards to my living situation, I can't get any help because I'm in employment. I've got a steady job and get paid next week.

 

At the end of the month, I get a lump sum of cash, so I'm hoping to relocate somewhere early in the new year and just stay in a b&b until I find something when I'm out of hospital. 

 

Starting from scratch again is something that upsets me.

 

I can be transferred pretty much anywhere in the country with work.

Well don't, because you're not silly and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Col City saying we should get Cattermole instead of Cambiasso, now that's something to be ashamed of :D;)

 

Are you from Leicester? Or is it Leicester you moved away from. Moving away sounds a good idea, but sometimes stability and routine can help more. Meeting a few familiar faces to go football etc. I'm sure there are a load of people on here who know each other and meet up before games etc.

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8 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

Thanks again to you all.

 

Having another shit day, but there's no magic cure.

 

I'm on Citalopram now, got to give it a couple of weeks to kick in.

 

Still feel pretty hopeless about things, but hopefully the pills help and get my head right. The rest is down to me to sort out.

 

I'm the kind of guy that would've told myself to man up 5 years ago!

 

Thanks again for all your encouragement and understanding. I have a little look on here and it really does help. 

 

I'm trying to motivate myself to get better.

 

It's a real shit, but I'll keep fighting.

 

 

The one thing about this website is that pretty much all of us realize that one day, any of us could be in your shoes. And for some of us we already have been.

 

Just remember , Tom, that if we can make it through to the other side THEN SO CAN YOU!!!

 

 

The problem with severe depression is that your hormones are all  messed up. It's a medical condition! Would you trust your leg to support your weight if it was broken? So don't trust your emotions o tell you the truth when they tell you that life is hopeless/ no point in carrying on!! it's a load of rubbish!

 

 

 

we are all rooting for you, mate. You have overcome the first hurdle in sharing you're feelings on this. You are a stronger person than your emotions tell you that you are.

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15 minutes ago, Babylon said:

Well don't, because you're not silly and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Col City saying we should get Cattermole instead of Cambiasso, now that's something to be ashamed of :D;)

 

Are you from Leicester? Or is it Leicester you moved away from. Moving away sounds a good idea, but sometimes stability and routine can help more. Meeting a few familiar faces to go football etc. I'm sure there are a load of people on here who know each other and meet up before games etc.

I moved away from Leicester a few years ago. I grew up in Oadby.

 

The further I get from Leicester, the better we get...

 

Went to Northamptonshire, we won the Championship.

 

Went to Bedfordshire, we won the Premier League.

 

If anyone wants to chip in and move me further away, we might win the Champions League?

 

I'll go as far away as possible, we'll have a World Cup, Grand National and a Superbowl if I make it to New Zealand!

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19 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

I moved away from Leicester a few years ago. I grew up in Oadby.

 

The further I get from Leicester, the better we get...

 

Went to Northamptonshire, we won the Championship.

 

Went to Bedfordshire, we won the Premier League.

 

If anyone wants to chip in and move me further away, we might win the Champions League?

 

I'll go as far away as possible, we'll have a World Cup, Grand National and a Superbowl if I make it to New Zealand!

I moved to Cape Town in January and things really started to get serious! Then I was visiting family and friends up in Botswana at the start of April and we actually won the bloody league - I'd definitely recommend Cape Town as not only is it one of the best cities in the world but theres also the Cape Town Foxes who meet up to watch every game at the pub - having those guys to share my joy really helped so wherever you go make sure there's a group of Foxiles there to enjoy it/suffer it with!

 

(what I will say is I didn't have anything like this when I lived in New Zealand, so just be wary!)

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Wow, feeling the love and support here. 

 

Is great to see people reaching out to help others. We're all on this forum because of our football team which in the grand scheme of things is not really important, but I admire the bravery of those who are suffering and the compassion and insight offered by those responding. 

 

I'm at little bit on the edge of this myself with times having been quite tough recently (and could get worse) so this is very helpful to me too. 

 

 

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Great thread, and brilliant to see so much support from the FT community.

Years ago I was on meds, and have used counselling a couple of times more  recently, i found it both good and bad to be honest, important thing is to do something about it, which you have by posting on here and going the docs, so nice one, you're on your way already.  

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Its a tough read on here but really hope you get better soon. What do you do for work if you dont mind me asking?

 

Plenty of people on here live all over the country so wherever you end up i am sure you will find a few Leicester fans that will meet up and watch the matches.

 

Keep your chin up, dont be a stranger and here and good luck.

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4 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

I work for William Hill.

 

Not a great job, but it keeps the money coming in.

 

I'm actually a mature student too, but looks like I'll be leaving uni. There's more important stuff I need to sort out. 

 

 

I work for a high street bank mate so it could be worse for you and would love to do a course at Uni but don't have the drive or motivation to do so.

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16 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

I work for William Hill.

 

Not a great job, but it keeps the money coming in.

 

I'm actually a mature student too, but looks like I'll be leaving uni. There's more important stuff I need to sort out. 

 

 

 

Keep posting. Hopefully it will help you (we're all here to listen, even if we may not have all the answers!) and it may well help others to. In fact, I know it will. Sharing your own experiences will definitely help other people who may be suffering from depression, or who may do so in the future.

 

 

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Nights are the worst. 

 

I'm not saying I'm going to take my life, but those thoughts are going round my head and I can't stop them. I hate it.

 

My thoughts are that it'll stop me feeling like this and nobody will miss me.

 

Saying this makes me sound like I want attention, but I don't.  I'm just saying it how it is.

 

The good news is, I don't think I have the balls to kill myself, even if I wanted to.

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1 hour ago, tom27111 said:

Nights are the worst. 

 

I'm not saying I'm going to take my life, but those thoughts are going round my head and I can't stop them. I hate it.

 

My thoughts are that it'll stop me feeling like this and nobody will miss me.

 

Saying this makes me sound like I want attention, but I don't.  I'm just saying it how it is.

 

The good news is, I don't think I have the balls to kill myself, even if I wanted to.

A fair few people have mentioned it but exercising can really help if that is your thing, Gets you out and about while making you feel good about yourself. 

 

Its not for everyone either but having a dog is a good way to get exercise and have some company in the evenings.

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1 hour ago, tom27111 said:

I work for William Hill.

 

Not a great job, but it keeps the money coming in.

 

I'm actually a mature student too, but looks like I'll be leaving uni. There's more important stuff I need to sort out. 

 

 

Have you considered using the uni services whilst you are there?

 

I have no doubts if you go to the health and wellbeing centre at uni they will listen to you, and it will be easier to access than through a gp.

 

In any case mate do keep posting. Just look at the response and the way posters are coming together. Not only are we hopefully helping you, but it is also showing those who are silently reading but probably in a similar boat that they are not alone too. All because you reached out. :thumbup:

 

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