Depression

[CarbonVirtine]

2 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

She didn't offer me any ideas, solutions or strategies and just listened while I figured it out for myself.

 

This is the sort of thing I'm looking for re counselling. Maybe I'm expecting to much of my counsellor. She has helped, as I said, with some perceptive remarks about how I respond to things, how my childhood was shaped, how I see the world.

 

I think I have a degree of frustration in me. Having felt 'this way' for so many years, having finally made the decision to get it sorted, that I want it done NOW! 

[The Blur]

23 hours ago, HowardsBulletHeader said:

Looking for some help and advice if some kind people here get the chance to:

 

My girlfriend and I have been together for 5&1/2 years and over the last 6-12 months mentally she's really struggled at times. I wouldn't class her as depressed but I'd say it's not far away, she has good days and bad days. She says nothing seems to happen to her to make her feel happy. She's going to the doctors soon to have some tests, to see if there's anything she can do. I've tried to tell her what I think the problem is, I think she takes it on board but it never seems to change anything. 

 

She works as a teacher for kids with learning difficulties, ADHD, mental health problems etc and she has a second job part time. She also volunteers her time for young people at a couple of different local groups. 

 

Personally I feel her problems stem from a few things: 

1- She works so hard for very little monetary reward (this frustrates her)

2- She wants to move out but see point 1, her home life has deteriorated with petty arguments with her sister and dad

3- She worked really hard at uni achieving her degree and isn't using it

4- She has no/very little time for herself, I feel that she "works away from work" (and I've told her numerous times).  What I mean by that is that she has every day looking after kids at school and helping them, then uses her spare time to volunteer to do the same thing. There is no hobby, nothing to take her mind away from work. 

 

Point 4 particularly gets me, because I'm a very active/sport orientated person, I feel that this is really missing from her life. That social interaction with a group of people you meet through a sport and also just the participation, to take your mind away from work. 

 

She keeps saying that she doesn't want to tell me things because she worries that she will push me away and that I won't want to be with her. I'm struggling with how to best go about this, like I can and do talk and listen to her but I'm just unsure of the best approach. 

 

Other posters have chipped in with sound advice which also reflected my thoughts.  I know it can be frustrating to be only able to 'listen' but one of my friend is quite open about her depression and often will share awareness posts on social media with tips and advice on how people can support those with depression or other issues.  

 

I have noticed that one tip that often will crop up in most of these posts is actually profoundly simple,  just being available to talk, offer hugs or whatever needed can be of a huge benefit.  I know it can be slightly dubious for you to take advice from strangers on the internet to do much other than being available for your girlfriend,  but these awareness posts were complied by people who went through mental health issues or charities so I do hope that will ease your sense of frustration a bit.    You mentioned that she had 'good days' -  perhaps her good days are partly because of your presence in these days.   Do not underestimate yourself and how much you can do to support her. 

 

It is very good thing that your girlfriend have got the ball rolling in the upcoming tests.  Izzy has got it nailed on when people only change when they want to,  I have seen many times that people will often not really consider the advice given immediately due to many contributing factors and often just need a push to come to their own conclusions on what they want to do next.

 

There are professionals who are trained to offer support with her mental health however none of them are able to offer her emotional day to day support as you can do.   These professionals are only to do that because they have received training and have practice experience which is reflective of how difficult it can be to address these issues so do not beat yourself up about not being able to directly addressing these issues.   It is a huge ask for any average person on the street to face these challenges.   I do not meant to disregard your efforts as it sounds like you have made some good observations especially re the need for a new hobby,  just keep doing what you are doing now and be there for your girlfriend.  It will makes things much easier for her to feel comfortable about taking whatever the next step is for her.  

 

 

 

 

 

Edited 2 April 2018 by The Blur

[Izzy]

57 minutes ago, CarbonVirtine said:

May I ask about counselling? I struggle with depression, and suffer anxiety and mild panic attacks. I'm seeing a counsellor 3 to 4 times a month (depending on what I can afford) We talk, she's very perceptive and I feel lifted after our chats. Thing is, I'm not sure our chats are actually going anywhere. I guess I'm expecting her to lead our chats more than she is, for her to be suggesting things for me to try. I don't want to go the drugs route (I avoid meds in my life generally) but I'm not sure whether 'talking therapy' is working for me, or perhaps my counsellor isn't suited to me. I've only been in counselling for 2 months so maybe I'm being too expectant, too hopeful. What are others thoughts?

 

I remember thinking exactly the same after a couple of months when I first started seeing my counselor and wondered if I was wasting my money.

 

But I ended up seeing her twice a month for 12 months and it was me that decided when to stop. I knew the time was right, the counselling had served it's purpose, and I was ready to start my 'new' life (although I've still been back for the odd 'one off' session since when the need has arisen)

 

What I didn't realise during the sessions was that I was being taken through a very subtle and discreet process called 'Gestalt' therapy. It was only when my head was clear and we'd finished the sessions that I asked 'how' she'd been counselling me. I think I just got lucky as it was ideal for me but I also know friends who've seen 4 or 5 therapists before they've found the 'right one'.

 

After some sessions I'd drive home and reflect and realise that I'd been asked only 2 or 3 questions in an hour. I was doing 95% of the talking and getting it all off my chest. But Rachael listened beautifully without judgement and I felt safe to tell her things I'd never tell anyone else. Occasionally she'd replay back to me what she'd heard me say and it helped me frame it differently. I was carrying a huge about of self blame about everything and she helped me realise for myself that maybe it wasn't all my fault after all.

 

You could ask your counselor what her specialism is and if she's using a particular model/framework/process with you. I know people who've had depression and ended up with a therapist who's specialism is actually in addiction or relationships or trauma rather than anxiety/depression. They've felt that they weren't with the right expert so tried someone different instead.

 

Follow your instincts and trust your vibes. If you still think after a few more sessions that 'talking therapy' isn't for you then tell her. If she's professional enough I'm sure she won't be offended and may refer you to someone else with a different skill set to help you.

 

Either way, I wish you well mate...

[Wymsey]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-43618674

[leicesterlad1989]

On ‎01‎/‎04‎/‎2018 at 10:53, HowardsBulletHeader said:

Looking for some help and advice if some kind people here get the chance to:

 

My girlfriend and I have been together for 5&1/2 years and over the last 6-12 months mentally she's really struggled at times. I wouldn't class her as depressed but I'd say it's not far away, she has good days and bad days. She says nothing seems to happen to her to make her feel happy. She's going to the doctors soon to have some tests, to see if there's anything she can do. I've tried to tell her what I think the problem is, I think she takes it on board but it never seems to change anything. 

 

She works as a teacher for kids with learning difficulties, ADHD, mental health problems etc and she has a second job part time. She also volunteers her time for young people at a couple of different local groups. 

 

Personally I feel her problems stem from a few things: 

1- She works so hard for very little monetary reward (this frustrates her)

2- She wants to move out but see point 1, her home life has deteriorated with petty arguments with her sister and dad

3- She worked really hard at uni achieving her degree and isn't using it

4- She has no/very little time for herself, I feel that she "works away from work" (and I've told her numerous times).  What I mean by that is that she has every day looking after kids at school and helping them, then uses her spare time to volunteer to do the same thing. There is no hobby, nothing to take her mind away from work. 

 

Point 4 particularly gets me, because I'm a very active/sport orientated person, I feel that this is really missing from her life. That social interaction with a group of people you meet through a sport and also just the participation, to take your mind away from work. 

 

She keeps saying that she doesn't want to tell me things because she worries that she will push me away and that I won't want to be with her. I'm struggling with how to best go about this, like I can and do talk and listen to her but I'm just unsure of the best approach. 

Most have already offered their thoughts and there's some great advice been given. I thought I'd share my experiences on what's written in bold.

 

My wife was clearly suffering from depression and anxiety but wasn't ready to accept it yet - if acceptance is the right word for it? I would try to rationalise things in order for her to 'understand' it. I felt like she listened and then nothing would change. That in turn added to her worries and actually made her worse. I've admitted on previous posts in this thread that this then led me to become frustrated, mainly down to my naivety of what anxiety, in particular was. Once I accepted this was a part of who she was, it made life easier for me. Now that sounds really selfish, as she was / is the one suffering but as soon as I learnt to accept thing, I would then stop myself from asking too many questions and trying to rationalise everything.

So from my experience, being a listener rather than someone with the answers, works a lot better. Doctors and counsellors are experienced and paid to help.

 

The second point highlighted in bold is another thing I've experienced and from my point of view it was due to what I've mentioned above. I'd spend my time psychoanalysing her and I'd end up painting her out to be so bad that it would make her worse, even though that wasn't my intentions.

 

I've realised that I've not offered much support or advice but I do understand how you feel, as I've felt similar to how you do right now but under different circumstances. It's hard for you both but there's a shining light at the end of all this. Just stick by her, listen and remind her from time to time how special she is.

 

[Finnegan]

On 02/04/2018 at 10:29, CarbonVirtine said:

 

This is the sort of thing I'm looking for re counselling. Maybe I'm expecting to much of my counsellor. She has helped, as I said, with some perceptive remarks about how I respond to things, how my childhood was shaped, how I see the world.

 

I think I have a degree of frustration in me. Having felt 'this way' for so many years, having finally made the decision to get it sorted, that I want it done NOW! 

 

 

I laugh at this because it's true. I've sat a couple of times in sessions with my therapist and been like "well I don't know, you should be telling me!" 

 

I think it's right though, there are times she will explain theory to me and it makes sense and everything but the big epiphanies have to come from me. It's the only way it'll really work. 

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, Finnegan said:

 

 

I laugh at this because it's true. I've sat a couple of times in sessions with my therapist and been like "well I don't know, you should be telling me!" 

 

I think it's right though, there are times she will explain theory to me and it makes sense and everything but the big epiphanies have to come from me. It's the only way it'll really work. 

“The brain with the problem is the brain with the solution” 

[Strokes]

2 hours ago, Finnegan said:

 

 

I laugh at this because it's true. I've sat a couple of times in sessions with my therapist and been like "well I don't know, you should be telling me!" 

 

I think it's right though, there are times she will explain theory to me and it makes sense and everything but the big epiphanies have to come from me. It's the only way it'll really work. 

Therapy can be good if the depression has been triggered by a single event and they can help you deal with and understand those emotions. 

My therapist was fantastic and really helped me understand why I felt like I did and how I was doing my self damage unnecessarily so. 

I guess its like the meds, different things work for different people because our depression isn’t necessarily identical.

[Wymsey]

A touching piece about a Forest fans' suicide, at a time when no-one close to him knew of his struggles he was going through.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-43920427

Find it very good of the club to mention it on their matchday programme today, to spread awareness about ,mental health act.

Edited 28 April 2018 by Wymeswold fox

[DJ Barry Hammond]

 

I’ll place this in here... 

 

https://articulatelive.wordpress.com/2018/04/26/lonely-together/#more-5379

[DANGEROUS TIGER]

I have suffered from depression for many years now, and consider myself a "Jeckyl and Hyde" When I  am up, I am really up, but when I am down, well, oh God it's dreadful. I don't even know the cause of it.

 

Depression cannot be lumped into one neat box, and the same applies how to best resolve the issue. Medication is all well and good, but it doesn't cure it. There are endless causes, but with all the good meaning in the world, other people construe the solution, as rational beings.  You say that you feel sporting activity would seem a good solution, and I can see where you are coming from, but that could well be not the correct answer.

 

Group therapy can certainly help, to varying degrees, but does not bring the desired ending of the problem.

 

I do not wish you to think me a "Jonah", but merely point out that sporting activity does not seem to enthuse your girlfriend, so perhaps you would be wiser to have a heart to hearts, and probe to see if she can suggest something herself. It may take a long time, but it may also help.

 

Good luck to you both.

[Lionator]

I went to New York on Tuesday and I'm back home now. The trip was supposed to incorporate Boston, Toronto and Montreal too however I cut it short due to anxiety which is financially annoying. However I went on my own, I'm not sure what else I was expecting considering 12 months ago I struggled to leave the house, my progress from that to being able to stand in Times Square on my own is pretty cool. New York is so intense, unlike London where you feel like you can breathe, you really can't in New York especially in 30+ degree heat.

 

I'm 23 so I'm a bit gutted as this is my perfect time to see new places, I adore seeing new cities/countries however they also induce my anxiety quite badly, one of the mind****s that an anxious person goes through I guess. The simple solution for me is to make sure I'm with somebody next time so I'll learn from my mistakes.

[Crinklyfox]

1 hour ago, Lionator said:

I went to New York on Tuesday and I'm back home now. The trip was supposed to incorporate Boston, Toronto and Montreal too however I cut it short due to anxiety which is financially annoying. However I went on my own, I'm not sure what else I was expecting considering 12 months ago I struggled to leave the house, my progress from that to being able to stand in Times Square on my own is pretty cool. New York is so intense, unlike London where you feel like you can breathe, you really can't in New York especially in 30+ degree heat.

 

I'm 23 so I'm a bit gutted as this is my perfect time to see new places, I adore seeing new cities/countries however they also induce my anxiety quite badly, one of the mind****s that an anxious person goes through I guess. The simple solution for me is to make sure I'm with somebody next time so I'll learn from my mistakes.

It's frustrating when the limitations of your condition kick in but you've done well to achieve what you have on your break.  I can see that you're beating yourself up for not getting 100% of what you wanted from the outset, but you shouldn't.  If you can accept yourself for who you are then you'll take some pressure off.  After all if a friend of mine had a hip operation and then did a bit too much walking such that he had to stop because of the pain he might be frustrated that he hadn't done as much as he wanted but he should recognise that he'd achieved something and that healing takes time.  It's the same for conditions of the mind.  

[Costock_Fox]

3 hours ago, Lionator said:

I went to New York on Tuesday and I'm back home now. The trip was supposed to incorporate Boston, Toronto and Montreal too however I cut it short due to anxiety which is financially annoying. However I went on my own, I'm not sure what else I was expecting considering 12 months ago I struggled to leave the house, my progress from that to being able to stand in Times Square on my own is pretty cool. New York is so intense, unlike London where you feel like you can breathe, you really can't in New York especially in 30+ degree heat.

 

I'm 23 so I'm a bit gutted as this is my perfect time to see new places, I adore seeing new cities/countries however they also induce my anxiety quite badly, one of the mind****s that an anxious person goes through I guess. The simple solution for me is to make sure I'm with somebody next time so I'll learn from my mistakes.

New York is utterly mental. I went for a week the day after we lifted the PL trophy and when I got back I felt like I needed to lay down in a field for a day or two just to readjust to home.

 

Sounds like you did well just to get there and going somewhere like that alone can’t be easy. Did you enjoy it? What did you see/do?

 

Edited 6 May 2018 by Costock_Fox

[Izzy]

3 hours ago, Lionator said:

I went to New York on Tuesday and I'm back home now. The trip was supposed to incorporate Boston, Toronto and Montreal too however I cut it short due to anxiety which is financially annoying. However I went on my own, I'm not sure what else I was expecting considering 12 months ago I struggled to leave the house, my progress from that to being able to stand in Times Square on my own is pretty cool. New York is so intense, unlike London where you feel like you can breathe, you really can't in New York especially in 30+ degree heat.

 

I'm 23 so I'm a bit gutted as this is my perfect time to see new places, I adore seeing new cities/countries however they also induce my anxiety quite badly, one of the mind****s that an anxious person goes through I guess. The simple solution for me is to make sure I'm with somebody next time so I'll learn from my mistakes.

Well done for going on your own mate, big respect. And what a massive leap from 12 months ago - you should be rightly proud of yourself.

 

I’m having one of those ‘struggling to leave the house’ days today and it’s horrible. My Crohn’s disease is killing me and I’m on and off the bog every 10 minutes.

 

The wife and kids are out having fun in the sun and the rest of the country seems to be enjoying themselves in the warm weather. But I’m house bound feeling sorry for myself and missing out on life.

 

You’ve experienced NYC and many people never get the opportunity in their lifetime to go there. Take the positives mate and be grateful you’ve got your physical health that gives you the freedom to travel.

[Lionator]

10 hours ago, Costock_Fox said:

New York is utterly mental. I went for a week the day after we lifted the PL trophy and when I got back I felt like I needed to lay down in a field for a day or two just to readjust to home.

 

Sounds like you did well just to get there and going somewhere like that alone can’t be easy. Did you enjoy it? What did you see/do?

 

 

I'm not sure what I expected to be honest, it was more about pushing myself which I did and ultimately burnt myself out pretty early on. I saw most of the touristy stuff (9/11 memorial, Central Park, Brooklyn Bridge), spent a bit of time in Williamsburg which was cool. One night when I couldn't sleep I walked from my hostel up seventh avenue to Times Square at 4am, jeeeeeez it was a sketchy idea, pretty much the only people around were police and some very mentally unwell people on the side streets, one of them being arrested at taser point (not gun point). A different experience for sure. The stench of crack outside of Penn Station too was also a very new experience haha. The heat was unbearable, the temperature never went below 25 day or night from Wednesday morning to Friday evening and the air there is acrid, the place stinks in the heat, absolutely wouldn't recommend going there in the summer.

 

9 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Well done for going on your own mate, big respect. And what a massive leap from 12 months ago - you should be rightly proud of yourself.

 

I’m having one of those ‘struggling to leave the house’ days today and it’s horrible. My Crohn’s disease is killing me and I’m on and off the bog every 10 minutes.

 

The wife and kids are out having fun in the sun and the rest of the country seems to be enjoying themselves in the warm weather. But I’m house bound feeling sorry for myself and missing out on life.

 

You’ve experienced NYC and many people never get the opportunity in their lifetime to go there. Take the positives mate and be grateful you’ve got your physical health that gives you the freedom to travel.

You're always good at putting things into perspective. I hope your body gives you a rest soon, you don't realise how vulnerable you are until you really have to push yourself, I feel utterly dreadful while writing this but I know all I need is a good nights sleep whereas lots of people aren't that lucky.

Edited 6 May 2018 by Lionator

[ozleicester]

15 hours ago, Lionator said:

I went to New York on Tuesday and I'm back home now. The trip was supposed to incorporate Boston, Toronto and Montreal too however I cut it short due to anxiety which is financially annoying. However I went on my own, I'm not sure what else I was expecting considering 12 months ago I struggled to leave the house, my progress from that to being able to stand in Times Square on my own is pretty cool. New York is so intense, unlike London where you feel like you can breathe, you really can't in New York especially in 30+ degree heat.

 

I'm 23 so I'm a bit gutted as this is my perfect time to see new places, I adore seeing new cities/countries however they also induce my anxiety quite badly, one of the mind****s that an anxious person goes through I guess. The simple solution for me is to make sure I'm with somebody next time so I'll learn from my mistakes.

Dont worry about 23 being the "perfect time". I too was standing in Times Square in 30 fvcking degrees on wednesday (dont fall for that "TKTS" bullsht everyone, its not worth the hassle) and I am 54... the perfect time is when it works for you, take the enjoyment where and when you can.... you got a lot of time ahead of you and with a little luck you will continue to take opportuinities as they arise... its never going to be perfect, just make the most of the great things when you can

[ozleicester]

11 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Well done for going on your own mate, big respect. And what a massive leap from 12 months ago - you should be rightly proud of yourself.

 

I’m having one of those ‘struggling to leave the house’ days today and it’s horrible. My Crohn’s disease is killing me and I’m on and off the bog every 10 minutes.

 

The wife and kids are out having fun in the sun and the rest of the country seems to be enjoying themselves in the warm weather. But I’m house bound feeling sorry for myself and missing out on life.

 

You’ve experienced NYC and many people never get the opportunity in their lifetime to go there. Take the positives mate and be grateful you’ve got your physical health that gives you the freedom to travel.

hope you are getting some relief Izz

[Costock_Fox]

3 hours ago, Lionator said:

I'm not sure what I expected to be honest, it was more about pushing myself which I did and ultimately burnt myself out pretty early on. I saw most of the touristy stuff (9/11 memorial, Central Park, Brooklyn Bridge), spent a bit of time in Williamsburg which was cool. One night when I couldn't sleep I walked from my hostel up seventh avenue to Times Square at 4am, jeeeeeez it was a sketchy idea, pretty much the only people around were police and some very mentally unwell people on the side streets, one of them being arrested at taser point (not gun point). A different experience for sure. The stench of crack outside of Penn Station too was also a very new experience haha. The heat was unbearable, the temperature never went below 25 day or night from Wednesday morning to Friday evening and the air there is acrid, the place stinks in the heat, absolutely wouldn't recommend going there in the summer.

 

You're always good at putting things into perspective. I hope your body gives you a rest soon, you don't realise how vulnerable you are until you really have to push yourself, I feel utterly dreadful while writing this but I know all I need is a good nights sleep whereas lots of people aren't that lucky.

 

Hahaha I was there this time two years ago and it is bloody warm. That said I’ve also been in January and it was bitterly cold.

[TheLittleBigMan]

Read a lot re counselling in the one page I read. What I would say is remember you are a part of the session. It's no good just assuming counselling will make you feel better, sometimes it'll make you feel a bit shit. If the session is making you feel uncomfortable - you have to say so, likewise if you think things aren't going in the right direction. You decided to be there and it'll work best if you own it, no matter how tiny that ownership is.

[TheLittleBigMan]

I would also add that prescription drugs should be owned. Like, cartons of that sh*t..

[DJ Barry Hammond]

On 06/05/2018 at 10:20, Lionator said:

I went to New York on Tuesday and I'm back home now. The trip was supposed to incorporate Boston, Toronto and Montreal too however I cut it short due to anxiety which is financially annoying. However I went on my own, I'm not sure what else I was expecting considering 12 months ago I struggled to leave the house, my progress from that to being able to stand in Times Square on my own is pretty cool. New York is so intense, unlike London where you feel like you can breathe, you really can't in New York especially in 30+ degree heat.

 

I'm 23 so I'm a bit gutted as this is my perfect time to see new places, I adore seeing new cities/countries however they also induce my anxiety quite badly, one of the mind****s that an anxious person goes through I guess. The simple solution for me is to make sure I'm with somebody next time so I'll learn from my mistakes.

 

I spotted this last line and felt the need to challenge your thinking in an effort to counteract your self-perception - because this appears to be your anxiety talking.

 

As life will show, the simple solutions are not always the best ones.

 

In your story, you’ve actually done something massively impressive there, but rather than take the wins from that, your mind is picking up the smaller defeats and making them the dominate thoughts - to the extent you conclude independence is not for you and that future adventures will require an aspect of hand holding.

 

This is not pointed out to make you feel bad... but to show how mindset can play a big part in breaking through these difficulties.

 

That if you can analyse your own words and thoughts, then look to restructure them slightly so that positive thoughts are allowed a space to come through, things may begin to feel a lot better.

 

There are also a couple of teachings I can give you from spending many a time venturing by myself, albeit not to quite as exoctic places as your examples.

 

The first is, whatever you talk about, talk about it with passion. 

 

I used to think I was boring and had nothing to say... so wouldn’t. But fortunately I came across the advice above, not sure from where now and with it that you can capture an audience with what you may think is the most mundane story; so long as you do so with passion and positivity. 

 

If you develop this, possibly among the safety of friends initially, you’ll start to see how they engage with you more, become alive to the words you are telling them... and that should give you confidence to tell stories in different situations and to new people. 

 

The second one

 

Don’t assume you’re younger years are the best for travel. It might be easier due to lack of fixed commitments, but you could find that travel in later years is a much more rewarding experience. 

 

I say that, because with age comes greater wisdom. A wider acknowledgment of the world that helps you seek out the very best of a countires wonders, heritage and culture. 

 

This is not to say don’t travel - more, don’t make it a pressured goal to travel to ‘x’ number of countries by age ‘x’ that is an aim I often here suggested by those of your age.

 

For me, that is not truly experiencing travel, it’s is travelling by numbers and forgets that you can learn much more by spending a greater time travelling in one place for longer.

 

There is also a richness in travelling locally and exploring different parts of the UK - something which can help build a greater range of stories of ‘home’ to captivate your next importue audience abroad.

 

Hope this helps ?

 

Alex 

 

[DJ Barry Hammond]

On 07/05/2018 at 00:00, Lionator said:

I'm not sure what I expected to be honest, it was more about pushing myself which I did and ultimately burnt myself out pretty early on. I saw most of the touristy stuff (9/11 memorial, Central Park, Brooklyn Bridge), spent a bit of time in Williamsburg which was cool. One night when I couldn't sleep I walked from my hostel up seventh avenue to Times Square at 4am, jeeeeeez it was a sketchy idea, pretty much the only people around were police and some very mentally unwell people on the side streets, one of them being arrested at taser point (not gun point). A different experience for sure. The stench of crack outside of Penn Station too was also a very new experience haha. The heat was unbearable, the temperature never went below 25 day or night from Wednesday morning to Friday evening and the air there is acrid, the place stinks in the heat, absolutely wouldn't recommend going there in the summer.

 

You're always good at putting things into perspective. I hope your body gives you a rest soon, you don't realise how vulnerable you are until you really have to push yourself, I feel utterly dreadful while writing this but I know all I need is a good nights sleep whereas lots of people aren't that lucky.

 

 

Having read this - you have number 1 sorted already. 

[leicsmac]

So...here I am, back in the UK.

 

Long story short, my marriage hit the rocks (due in large part to me screwing up) and right now I'm pretty much in shreds. Don't really have much of an idea about what I'm going to do from here as right now my head is such a mess. I've got no current issues with food on the table and a roof over my head...but I honestly don't know how I'm going to move forward - or what to.

 

Don't suppose anyone has any advice regarding someone I could see to help with at least some of this - or just some general advice/listening?

 

 

 

 

[Izzy]

12 minutes ago, leicsmac said:

So...here I am, back in the UK.

 

Long story short, my marriage hit the rocks (due in large part to me screwing up) and right now I'm pretty much in shreds. Don't really have much of an idea about what I'm going to do from here as right now my head is such a mess. I've got no current issues with food on the table and a roof over my head...but I honestly don't know how I'm going to move forward - or what to.

 

Don't suppose anyone has any advice regarding someone I could see to help with at least some of this - or just some general advice/listening?

 

 

Mate I’m sorry to read this. You always come across as so grounded and stable on here.

 

I’m no expert or qualified to give advice but I’ll happily listen if you fancy downloading to someone. DM me Mac if you fancy a chat.

 

And if you’re not up to it at the moment, that’s cool. You’re a top poster on here and I’m sure we’re all behind you and hope you find a way forward. 

 

Keep posting on here and keep us updated. All the best...