Depression

[Tielemans63]

24 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Bloody hell Paddy, I am surprised. You’re probably the last poster on FT that I’d think was struggling.

 

You always seem so chipper on here and your posts really make me laugh - you’ve got a great SOH mate.

 

Just goes to show we’ve really got no idea who’s suffering and it’s such an invisible illness. 

It’s great that you’ve shared though because it makes it easier for others to also do so and to know that we’re all in it together.

 

Your Insights will be so welcome on this thread mate and it’s probably the only one on FT where people are totally honest and themselves  (apart from the gambling one which is also superb btw)

 

Sorry that you are also that man in the picture but you’re amongst many others on here who are exactly the same. 

 

You’re a smart bloke and you know help us out there. The best thing I ever did btw was eventually ‘give in’ to depression and seek help. That’s when the recovery process to getting better started.

 

Take care bro.

Cheers Izzy. That genuinely means a lot.

 

It's funny you should say that because I doubt my family and friends would guess I feel like a do in a million years.

 

I think we're probably very similar characters in that your posts always make me laugh and first time I ever looked at this thread I was really surprised and saddened to read your were having such a bad time of it. It's weird but I'd have said the same about you! Your posts elsewhere are so light-hearted, you're probably the last person I'd have picked too to be honest! 

 

I haven't contributed before because I feel a bit of a fraud to be honest. Unlike others on here, I've had no major traumas or suffered any horrendous loss. It's just that I have this profound sense of emptiness and a lack of self-esteem which I've had my whole life. I have a nice house, good job, a loving wife and a beautiful daughter and yet sometimes I drive to work and I have tears in my eyes and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's guilt because I've got so much compared to many people and yet I still feel this strange sense of disconnection. 

[joachim1965]

As I have said before I have never suffered with depression and consider myself fortunate in that respect.

This thread genuinely touches me and is why I think the posters on FT are amazing.

I doubt you would get threads like this one on any other football forum, you guys should be proud of what you are acheiving here.

[Izzy]

9 hours ago, Paddy. said:

Cheers Izzy. That genuinely means a lot.

 

It's funny you should say that because I doubt my family and friends would guess I feel like a do in a million years.

 

I think we're probably very similar characters in that your posts always make me laugh and first time I ever looked at this thread I was really surprised and saddened to read your were having such a bad time of it. It's weird but I'd have said the same about you! Your posts elsewhere are so light-hearted, you're probably the last person I'd have picked too to be honest! 

 

I haven't contributed before because I feel a bit of a fraud to be honest. Unlike others on here, I've had no major traumas or suffered any horrendous loss. It's just that I have this profound sense of emptiness and a lack of self-esteem which I've had my whole life. I have a nice house, good job, a loving wife and a beautiful daughter and yet sometimes I drive to work and I have tears in my eyes and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's guilt because I've got so much compared to many people and yet I still feel this strange sense of disconnection. 

That's spooky mate. I've lost count of the number of times that's happened to me over the years.

 

Maybe it's just the overwhelm of the vast emotions of life. I know sometimes I just well up and then realise it's actually with gratitude for how lucky I really am. Other times I think it's sorrow and disappointment that I either haven't fulfilled my potential in life or that I'm still not really clear on exactly what my purpose is.

 

I think the latter is also related to my own lack of self esteem which I can trace back to my early childhood. I can totally relate to the 'emptiness' you mentioned and for me that's just not being completely at ease with myself or not having total peace of mind. It's really a sickening feeling.

 

I also think the light-hearted/humour posts for me is probably for the reasons of this Robin Williams quote below. Not that I'm anywhere near as funny as him but when someone posted this a while ago it really resonated with me (and made me ball my eyes out)

 

 

 

 

[Tielemans63]

2 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

That's spooky mate. I've lost count of the number of times that's happened to me over the years.

 

Maybe it's just the overwhelm of the vast emotions of life. I know sometimes I just well up and then realise it's actually with gratitude for how lucky I really am. Other times I think it's sorrow and disappointment that I either haven't fulfilled my potential in life or that I'm still not really clear on exactly what my purpose is.

 

I think the latter is also related to my own lack of self esteem which I can trace back to my early childhood. I can totally relate to the 'emptiness' you mentioned and for me that's just not being completely at ease with myself or not having total peace of mind. It's really a sickening feeling.

 

I also think the light-hearted/humour posts for me is probably for the reasons of this Robin Williams quote below. Not that I'm anywhere near as funny as him but when someone posted this a while ago it really resonated with me (and made me ball my eyes out)

 

 

 

 

I'm concerned we might be the same person Izzy! That's me to a tee. Spooky indeed!

Edited 16 September 2018 by Paddy.

[Wymsey]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/45545066

[Finnegan]

Out of curiosity I just went scanning through the first few pages of this thread. 

 

I'm not sure how I never noticed before but I think Thracian recommended his favourite prostitute to the OP. This place man

[Buce]

On 16/09/2018 at 10:44, joachim1965 said:

As I have said before I have never suffered with depression and consider myself fortunate in that respect.

This thread genuinely touches me and is why I think the posters on FT are amazing.

I doubt you would get threads like this one on any other football forum, you guys should be proud of what you are acheiving here.

 

I was browsing the Everton forum a while back and noticed they have one on there. 

[EnderbyFox]

1 hour ago, Finnegan said:

Out of curiosity I just went scanning through the first few pages of this thread. 

 

I'm not sure how I never noticed before but I think Thracian recommended his favourite prostitute to the OP. This place man

 

It was this line that had me howling for a good 2-3 days

 

Quote

I don't suppose she's available on the NHS but she sure ought to be.

 

[HighPeakFox]

It's better in here than anywhere else - especially any thread about Puel.

 

Here's an irony - the people who do their nut about him are probably the most depressed people about.

[Costock_Fox]

6 hours ago, Buce said:

 

I was browsing the Everton forum a while back and noticed they have one on there. 

It coincided with Allardyce being be manager. 

[Matt_Lcfc]

Keyboard spazzed out. Didn’t mean to post 

Edited 19 September 2018 by Matt_Lcfc

[davieG]

FA Cup: Ex-Everton midfielder George Green on self-destruction and depression
By Neil Johnston

BBC Sport

4 hours ago From the sectionFA Cup
Share this page
 George Green
Everton's George Green, then aged 17, tackles Liverpool's Seyi Ojo in an Under-18 game in November 2013
It is October 2011 and 15-year-old George Green is travelling to London for a trial with Tottenham Hotspur when a phone call changes everything. Everton have agreed a £2m deal with Bradford City for the schoolboy midfielder.

Green signs a two-and-a-half-year contract, receives a £45,000 signing-on fee in three instalments of £15,000, and a promising future with the Toffees beckons for the Dewsbury teenager.

Four years later he is stood on railway tracks near his hometown waiting for the next train so that he can end his life, Green's hopes of making it as a Premier League player ruined by cocaine and alcohol.

"I was in that much debt, I thought I'd lost my partner due to my drug use, and I didn't see a way back for me with football," the 22-year-old tells BBC Sport.

Now at sixth-tier Chester, who face City of Liverpool in the FA Cup second qualifying round at 15:00 BST on Saturday, Green opens up about having too much too soon, self-destruction, depression and how he is attempting to rebuild his life.

"Mental health and addiction is an everyday battle. I'm giving it my best shot," he says. "If others can learn from it, I'd rather help."

How tragedy led to free ticket offer at Hendon
Check out the nearest FA Cup second qualifying round tie to you
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'A £2,000-a-month cocaine addiction'
It was Everton Under-21s boss David Unsworth who broke the news to a tearful Green, then aged 19, he was no longer required after a loan at League Two Tranmere Rovers in 2015.

He had arrived at Goodison Park a fresh-faced schoolboy and was quickly compared to Wayne Rooney, who made his senior debut for the club aged 16.

Green left without playing a first-team game having spent five weeks of his four years at Goodison Park in London's Priory hospital, which provides a range of mental health and addictions treatments.

"Everton paid for it all, I think it was about £5,000-a-week," said Green, who was playing in the Toffees' U21 side by the age of 16 alongside future England internationals John Stones and Ross Barkley.

"Before I turned 18 you wouldn't catch me out at night. As soon as I was 18 it was like a new world opened up. I was drinking, doing drugs and playing football.

"The first time I took drugs I'd gone to watch football in a pub with mates. I was offered cocaine and it changed my life."

At first Green was able to hide his habit from the likes of Kevin Sheedy, his youth-team coach, but before long he was taking 30 grams a month and life was spiralling out of control.

"I was spending way over £2,000 a month. I remember one particular Monday morning I was supposed to be training. I didn't wake up until the afternoon.

"The night before I'd gone to a friend's house for drink and drugs. I think that's when alarm bells started ringing at Everton.

"I remember phoning a welfare officer at Everton one night. I was crying and said 'I need help'. Soon after I was admitted to the Priory."

George Green
Drugs and alcohol took a toll on Green. Here he is aged 19 signing for non-league Ossett Albion five months after being released by Everton
'I've earned £500,000 - I've got an iPad to show for it'
Having joined Everton as a £150-a-week schoolboy, Green's earnings reached £110,000-a-year at the Premier League club.

Since leaving three years ago, he has also had spells with Burnley and Oldham Athletic - as well as Viking in Norway's top flight under Englishman Ian Burchnall, now boss at Swedish side Ostersunds.

Green, who has also featured in the Scottish Premiership for Kilmarnock, believes he has earned at least £500,000 playing football.

"I have an iPad to show for it. That's how much of a downfall my life has become because of drugs," he added.

"I squandered it all. I'm embarrassed."

At Everton, the former England youth international did most of his socialising back home in Yorkshire.

"A good night out? I'd easily spend about £1,500. A meal would cost between £200 and £300," he said.

"I'd be like 'let's get a bottle of champagne' and then a girl would come and sit next to me and I'd be like 'would you like a bottle of champagne?'

"Earning the money I was, I thought it was never going to end.

"Everybody wanted to know who I was and I was enjoying life. But I never got introduced to people who would keep me on the straight and narrow. They drank or did drugs and I fell into that circle.

"I got a brand new Mercedes-Benz A-Class and did about £4,000 damage to it. That stemmed from drink-driving. I was ridiculous, I used to drink-drive everywhere."

George Green
Before he turned 18 and problems with drink and drugs, Green (centre) was compared to Wayne Rooney
'It wasn't my time to go'
Green had four clubs within 14 months of leaving Everton. Soon after his release from the Toffees, he joined League One Oldham on a two-year deal. He lasted five months before his contract was cancelled by mutual consent in November 2015.

"It was due to drink and drugs, I'd fallen out of love with the game and decided I didn't want to play any more."

By now, Green was on a downward spiral. He had a drink-driving conviction and, after blowing much of his earnings on alcohol and cocaine, he was struggling financially. In addition, he was suffering from depression.

He did not stay away from football for long.

A week after leaving Oldham, Green had signed for non-league Yorkshire side Ossett Albion for £80-a-game. He had gone from Everton to the eighth tier of English football in less than six months.

It was around this time he first contemplated suicide.

Green celebrates scoring for Tranmere Rovers
Green (second left) celebrates scoring for Tranmere Rovers in a League Two game against AFC Wimbledon in March 2015
"Leaving Everton hit me hard," he said. "I was stood on a railway track close to Mirfield station near Dewsbury ready for a train to come. I remember it being around eight or nine o'clock at night.

"I hadn't written a note. It was all the pressures of everything in my life. The drugs, the alcohol, my mental health, football wasn't going well, lack of money.

"Then there was an announcement over the speakers that the next train was delayed.

"I thought 'it must be a sign that it can't be my time to go'. I broke down in tears and walked away."

Green's mental health problems continued. He took an overdose after joining Salford City on loan from Burnley in early 2017.

"I went in the pill cupboard at home and took everything there was. I wanted to die at that time," he added.

Former Manchester United defender Gary Neville, Salford's co-owner, offered his support.

Green said: "I was invited round to his house. I had been in hospital for taking too many tablets. We spoke for an hour about football and things Salford could do to help me."

Five months clean and a baby on the way
He lives near Dewsbury with his two-year-old daughter Daisy and fiancee, Charli, while the couple are due to welcome a baby boy to the family in October.

Gone are the flash cars and the hangers-on who formed part of his life when he was at Everton.

Instead of a Mercedes-Benz A-Class, Green now drives a Kia Rio to and from Chester, the club he joined in July from National League North rivals Nuneaton.

Money is tight but the player blames no-one but himself.

George Green with fiancee Charli (and daughter Daisy
Green is rebuilding his life with fiancee Charli and two-year-old daughter Daisy
He relapsed in April but says he has not touched drink or drugs since, and attends weekly Alcoholics Anonymous and Cocaine Anonymous meetings.

Green's support network includes former Aston Villa and England defender Gary Charles, a recovering alcoholic who now has a business which provides care to people who are experiencing a wide range of problems, including depression and alcohol/drug dependency.

"There's not a day I don't speak to him. He's a lifesaver," adds Green.

'Without football, I'd be dead'
At the time of this interview, Green has an additional battle in his life. Two months after signing, he has yet to make his Chester debut because of a back injury which is likely to require surgery. He's frustrated and impatient.

He has kept himself busy by getting to know Chester fans at home games, signing autographs and posing for pictures.

Chester, a fan-owned club with a community trust, run a weekly mental health and wellbeing session which offers vulnerable members of society a chance to get out and play football.

Green hopes opening up about his problems will raise awareness of mental health and addiction issues.

George Green
Green has yet to play for his new club Chester because of a back problem
"Football is the only thing I am good at. Without it I'd be dead," he added.

"I thought my career would be over if I came out and started talking about my issues with drugs.

"Then I said to myself 'how about being honest for once in your life and admit your problems'.

"If my story helps one person, I'm happy to tell it. I'm happier, healthier and way more positive than I was."

If you have been affected by any of the issues discussed in this article, advice and support can be accessed here.

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/45476430

 

 

 

 

 

[Costock_Fox]

.

Edited 20 September 2018 by Costock_Fox

[z-layrex]

On 17/02/2016 at 15:57, Finnegan said:

Hardest thing you'll ever do when you're depressed is stepping in to your GPs office and telling them.

It's also the most important, most valuable and most relieving.

Sorry I was just looking for the prostitute recommendation and thought I'd chip in on my experience with this.

 

Throughout my late teens and most of my twenties I suffered with significant anxiety, I would call it looped thoughts. So like a small day to day worry, or even irrational thought, would loop over and over in my mind for days, making me feel terrible. This has very fortunately gotten much better in my 30s and while it still happens sometimes, it's much more manageable. 

 

Anyway at around age 25 or 26 I did finally go to the GP. Long story short, he concluded after 5 minutes that my career was too stressful for someone so young (this had been happening since secondary school), but referred me to some NHS mental health organisation that I forget the name of. I heard nothing for 6 months, followed by an apology letter and invitation for a meeting with a therapist.

 

This therapist was an incredibly stern woman who didn't make me feel like talking in the slightest. She demanded I only attend sessions on a Tuesday, when I explained that my work means this is impossible she goes "well what are we supposed to do then". I thanked her and left, I did say that I thought her job was to try and help my anxiety, not make it worse. No one ever followed up on me. Probably all a symptom of underfunding.

 

This made me realise that the NHS was not going to help me and that I would need to change my thought processes in my own way. Luckily for me I think ageing has to a degree rebalanced whatever chemicals were causing the obsessive worrying and anxiety of my youth, because I had no clue what else to try to be more relaxed and happy.

 

Anyway my point was, my GP and the NHS failed me. But I don't want to discourage anyone from going, it is 100% the bravest and most sensible thing to do. That's just my story.

Edited 20 September 2018 by z-layrex

[Izzy]

7 hours ago, z-layrex said:

Sorry I was just looking for the prostitute recommendation and thought I'd chip in on my experience with this.

 

Throughout my late teens and most of my twenties I suffered with significant anxiety, I would call it looped thoughts. So like a small day to day worry, or even irrational thought, would loop over and over in my mind for days, making me feel terrible. This has very fortunately gotten much better in my 30s and while it still happens sometimes, it's much more manageable. 

 

Anyway at around age 25 or 26 I did finally go to the GP. Long story short, he concluded after 5 minutes that my career was too stressful for someone so young (this had been happening since secondary school), but referred me to some NHS mental health organisation that I forget the name of. I heard nothing for 6 months, followed by an apology letter and invitation for a meeting with a therapist.

 

This therapist was an incredibly stern woman who didn't make me feel like talking in the slightest. She demanded I only attend sessions on a Tuesday, when I explained that my work means this is impossible she goes "well what are we supposed to do then". I thanked her and left, I did say that I thought her job was to try and help my anxiety, not make it worse. No one ever followed up on me. Probably all a symptom of underfunding.

 

This made me realise that the NHS was not going to help me and that I would need to change my thought processes in my own way. Luckily for me I think ageing has to a degree rebalanced whatever chemicals were causing the obsessive worrying and anxiety of my youth, because I had no clue what else to try to be more relaxed and happy.

 

Anyway my point was, my GP and the NHS failed me. But I don't want to discourage anyone from going, it is 100% the bravest and most sensible thing to do. That's just my story.

Thanks for sharing your story mate, it makes me realise how lucky I was...

 

I too was initially referred by my GP to an NHS therapist back in the day and I also had to wait months for an appointment. Like you I decided to take things into my own hands as I couldn't be arsed to wait and knew I needed help sooner rather than later. (this was 7-8 years ago so hopefully the system/funding is better now?)

 

I ended up talking to friends/family and business associates about my depression and it just so happened that someone in my close networks' wife ran a private therapy practice. He set up a meeting and I instantly knew she would be perfect for me (nothing like the stern woman you describe - that would've put me right off)

 

Luckily we agreed on 'mates rates' for my sessions and i think i paid £28 an hour instead of the standard £45 for a private session. Looking back it was the best 'investment' I ever made and i was very fortunate.

 

I guess the morale of the story is that there are good and bad therapists out there just as in any profession. Finding the 'right' one you can trust and open up to is key. 

 

I admire how you changed your thought process on your own and you must have huge inner strength in order to do that. 

 

Fair play to you 

[Finnegan]

@z-layrex yeah I kinda made a point like this elsewhere in the thread. I'm cautious about saying it because I'd hate to put anyone off but as rewarding as it was for me the second time, the first time I went to a gp about it it wasn't a great experience.

 

I've also had both good and bad NHS therapists. 

 

It's the problem with the NHS really, it's very pot luck, you don't get to pick and choose who treats you. 

 

It's why I eventually went private which was expensive but equally incredible. 

Edited 21 September 2018 by Finnegan

[Jon the Hat]

On 17/09/2018 at 17:02, EnderbyFox said:

 

It was this line that had me howling for a good 2-3 days

 

 

Oh Christ.  That has made my morning.  I don’t know how I missed It!

[Finnegan]

Just now, Jon the Hat said:

Oh Christ.  That has made my morning.  I don’t know how I missed It!

 

I know right

[Jon the Hat]

4 minutes ago, Finnegan said:

 

I know right

I quite miss his crazy.  It was unique.

[Lionator]

57 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Luckily we agreed on 'mates rates' for my sessions and i think i paid £28 an hour instead of the standard £45 for a private session. Looking back it was the best 'investment' I ever made and i was very fortunate.

 

 

 

Honestly for anyone reading this, counselling really is worth it. It does seem crazily expensive but you're probably prepared to pay more for a car and believe me, a good counsellor really does get to the root and can sort your head out forever. Obviously there are those that can't afford it however I know there is a counselling service in Leicester for women where you pay per session what you earn a year (£10 if you earn £10k) and so on. 

[egg_fried_rice]

https://www.brightonandhovealbion.com/news/2018/september/knockaerts-message-on-depression/

 

Brighton & Hove Albion winger Anthony Knockaert spoke openly about his battle with depression on Thursday afternoon, and has urged those affected not to be afraid to step forward.

The Frenchman gave an unprompted insight into his struggle with depression over the past two years, but says he is now in a much happier place and focused on positive times ahead.

In a frank interview, he said, “I went through depression last season, which people obviously didn’t know about. It was really tough and mentally impossible for me to go and perform on the pitch.
 
“I went through a divorce last year during the pre-season, so it was really tough to take, especially after my dad [passing away].
 
“I wasn’t able to do what I should have been doing on the pitch. The club helped me and now I’m ready to talk about it. I’m happy again and everything is going well in my life.

“It’s important in my eyes to leave this message, to help other people who are going through something like this.
 
“It’s not something to be ashamed of, you have to talk to someone because you never know what can happen in your life.
 
“One day you can be successful and another day you can become no one. Life can turn like this.
 
“That’s what happened to me and I just didn’t see it coming. It was important for me to give this message - you shouldn’t be ashamed to go and speak to someone.”

Knockaert also highlighted the help and guidance he received from counselling sessions and the support from those closest to him, as he worked his way through difficult times to reach a healthier state of mind.
 
“I said to Bruno last December that I couldn’t keep going like this and he went to see the gaffer. He [Chris Hughton] then sorted me out. 
 
“The manager came to speak to me and said ‘we’re not giving you the choice, we’re getting you a counsellor’.
 
“Since that happened, I’ve got better and better. There was a combination between her and the club and that has helped me a lot.
 
“Depression is a really bad thing. A few years ago when people talked to me about depression, I was like ‘what is this?’ You don’t really take it seriously until it happens to you.
 
“But then you realise what it’s like because you’re going through the worst period in your life.
 
“So I just want to leave a message to footballers and people in general, that as soon as they go through this, it’s really important to talk to someone and not be scared.”

[gw_leics772]

In response to the bad experiences people have had with the nhs,  I'd like to balance it with some good experiences with "let's talk wellbeing", a self referral via a leaflet I received from my gp.

I can echo some of the negatives but took a lot from my most recent interaction with them.

It took a while to get telephone assessment but once I accepted they will not fix it on their own and immediately it helped.

I was advised that for urgent suicidal thoughts the gp's have a crisis response team which I am told is excellent. Ring them and tell them you are having suicidal thoughts or ring the Samaritans.

I held on and didn't go down that route but when I did get through the queuing and bureaucracy "let's talk wellbeing" Have been excellent for me.

I'd like to think things have changed since the bad old days, but fully accept they cannot do the immediate response.

Edited 21 September 2018 by gw_leics772

[Tielemans63]

Morning boys.

 

So after I randomly opened up on here last weekend I weirdly felt a bit better. Thought I'd share what happened next with you even if it's a bit mushy. 

 

I popped over to see my folks back in Leicester on the Sunday and me and the old man took the dog for a walk. For whatever reason it all spilled out a bit (in a controlled way), I told him about how I'd been feeling and he just listened although at one point I could see him welling up a bit.

 

Anyways, when we got back to the house my dad disappears for a bit. As I'm leaving in the evening he gives me a a sheet of A4 paper. He says to read it Monday morning or whenever I'm feeling low. Basically, he'd written two sides on why he's proud of me....and this is from a guy who doesn't give much away. I didn't even know he could write

 

I guess I'm sharing this with you because it made me realise that a) if you're lucky enough to have people who love you unconditionally then maybe being honest with them might not be the disaster you think it might be (I've put it off for a decade ) and b) I was so bogged down in self-hate and regret, it was actually really liberating to hear the opposite being said of me (if that makes sense!).

 

I've still had some significant lows this week but I've kept that letter in my laptop bag and just looking at it every now and again has helped me manage the lows a bit better. My dad is the most honest bloke I've ever met which is what I tell myself when I feel my mind starting to question the positive things he has written.

 

Edited 22 September 2018 by Paddy.

[Izzy]

5 minutes ago, Paddy. said:

Morning boys.

 

So after I randomly opened up on here last weekend I weirdly felt a bit better. Thought I'd share what happened next with you even if it's a bit mushy. 

 

I popped over to see my folks back in Leicester on the Sunday and me and the old man took the dog for a walk. For whatever reason it all spilled out a bit (in a controlled way), I told him about how I'd been feeling and he just listened although at one point I could see him welling up a bit.

 

Anyways, when we got back to the house my dad disappears for a bit. As I'm leaving in the evening he gives me a a sheet of A4 paper. He says to read it Monday morning or whenever I'm feeling low. Basically, he'd written two sides on why he's proud of me....and this is from a guy who doesn't give much away. I didn't even know he could write

 

I guess I'm sharing this with you because it made me realise that a) if you're lucky enough to have people who love you unconditionally then maybe being honest with them might not be the disaster you think it might be (I've put it off for a decade ) and b) I was so bogged down in self-hate and regret, it was actually really liberating to hear the opposite being said of me (if that makes sense!).

 

I've still had some significant lows this week but I've kept that letter in my laptop bag and just looking at it every now and again has helped me manage the lows a bit better. My dad is the most honest bloke I've ever met which is what I tell myself when I feel my mind starting to question the positive things he has written.

 

That's beautiful mate, what a lovely post 

 

Thanks for sharing and reminding us all that we'll always be loved by those who matter the most to us.

 

Proud of you Paddy   

 

[Tielemans63]

32 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

That's beautiful mate, what a lovely post 

 

Thanks for sharing and reminding us all that we'll always be loved by those who matter the most to us.

 

Proud of you Paddy   

 

Thank you mate.

 

I'm genuinely grateful to you and everyone who has posted in this thread. Even though I don't actually know any of you, this thread makes me feel a lot less lonely. It's also given me the reassurance that actually I'm not a freak.

 

I've still got a lot of issues to deal with and it hasn't fixed anything but it's given me something positive to hold on to.

Edited 22 September 2018 by Paddy.