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Depression

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1 hour ago, TaggertvsWise said:

Morning.  It's been a while since I posted on here and I have learnt a lot of things in the past several weeks that I would like to share.  Mainly the importance of connections and facing up to the levels of isolation I now see I was spiralling into.  Suffering from low self esteem is a struggle I have endured for as long as I can remember and it's only recently with the pressures of marriage, kids, jobs, early 40s (you get the picture) that things combusted and I realised I had to get help.

 

Fortunately my GP was great and has put me onto a counselling service near me called inclusion matters. http://inclusion-matters-wirral.org.uk/  The appointment isn't until mid une so in the meantime they offered to see me every fortnight just to see how I am doing.

 

Also my work offers workplace coaching and this has helped me greatly and made me look at how my actions at work impact my outlook on life namely focussing on these isolation issues.  My coach referred me to a book call Lost Connections by Johann Hari which is a fascinating read and I advise people to pick up a copy and talks about the causes as opposed to the symptoms of depression and anxiety in an enabling none lecture based way.  He has done a couple of Joe Rogan podcasts so look them up also as they offer some behavioural insight that could also help.

 

Letting the key people at work know such as a small group of perceptive colleagues, HR and my LM has been such a burden lifted.  HR put me onto a govt group called Able Futures https://able-futures.co.uk/mental-health-support-for-individuals/  it is designed to support and provided 6-9 month sustainable 1-2-1 support as I find my feet in getting back to full health.  I recommend them as naturally mental health in the work place is so key to one's life.

 

All this has enabled me to talk to people.  Not broadcasting it to everyone but stealthily ensuring that those I engage with in the important facets of my life, at work, my wife, brother, sister and a handful of close friends.  They are hand picked but I feel I have a close support network now who genuinely want to help - I couldn't say that before and slowly I feel like I am coming out of my shell and social events I would have previously avoided have turned out to be pretty good.

 

This is not supposed to be a preach at all but to share ideas and solutions that I am undergoing and, whereas I don't expect them to be silver bullets overnight, I am starting to feel better now I have a plan and know that I am not alone whereas before I couldn't see anything other than an abyss.  Hopefully some of these can help others. I realise this is going to be a long journey but one that now looks possible.

 

As ever, this forum has been intrinsic in helping me to get my thoughts down and share my experiences and for that as ever I am grateful to my fellow LCFC fans.  Yes we bicker, but when all is said and done we're a pretty good bunch.

 

If anyone has any questions please DM me.

 

Lovely post to read mate, it's great to see someone taking such targeted and positive steps towards a healthier future.


I'm sure plenty of people will appreciate you sharing your situation and the advice - I listen to Joe Rogan from time to time and sometimes his casts are quite good. I'll definitely be checking them out so thanks for that.


I've never heard of able futures. It's amazing how many organisations are out there to help with these types of issues but many people simply don't know they exist.

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9 hours ago, ajthefox said:

Lovely post to read mate, it's great to see someone taking such targeted and positive steps towards a healthier future.


I'm sure plenty of people will appreciate you sharing your situation and the advice - I listen to Joe Rogan from time to time and sometimes his casts are quite good. I'll definitely be checking them out so thanks for that.


I've never heard of able futures. It's amazing how many organisations are out there to help with these types of issues but many people simply don't know they exist.

Thank you. Once you scratch the surface there is so much free support that for one reason or another doesn’t get publicity. It’s possibly all part and parcel of the stigma of mental health and possibly down to funding but Able Futures is a great initiative and a very impressive action by an otherwise fairly inept government. Enjoy the pods.

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21 hours ago, Wymeswold fox said:

I've been a little reluctant to draw attention to this. But decided to do so as the poor fella, Rob, is a huge City fan.

 

Whatever the rights or wrongs of the allegation, most of us make mistakes in life. A very ordinary, decent family man who was clearly in a terrible state at the time. 

 

He leaves a wife and two City fan kids.

 

RIP Rob

 

 

 

 

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Gonna be an uncle. Found out this morning. Mostly ****ing thrilled obviously but a big part of me has taken it as yet another reminder of how shite my life is right now so it’s a bit of a punch in the balls too. Then I hate myself even more for being so bloody selfish. Struggling to sort my life out and I can’t even sort my brain out. Argh!

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3 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Gonna be an uncle. Found out this morning. Mostly ****ing thrilled obviously but a big part of me has taken it as yet another reminder of how shite my life is right now so it’s a bit of a punch in the balls too. Then I hate myself even more for being so bloody selfish. Struggling to sort my life out and I can’t even sort my brain out. Argh!

Congratulations on being an uncle. Izzy has said it all. Enjoy it for what it is. My wife has just sent me a pic of her best friends newborn and im loving it. Still makes me broody even though ive already got 4 of the little bleeders and worry its too many ?. One post vasectomy. Enjoy all the good of babies and being able to hand it back.

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3 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Gonna be an uncle. Found out this morning. Mostly ****ing thrilled obviously but a big part of me has taken it as yet another reminder of how shite my life is right now so it’s a bit of a punch in the balls too. Then I hate myself even more for being so bloody selfish. Struggling to sort my life out and I can’t even sort my brain out. Argh!

My cousin (the same age as me (mid-20s)) got married last week, has a house, dogs etc. My friends are all buying houses with their partners. Yet I have no commitments, no partner, no car, I'm trouping through a masters degree with a 12 hour per week job to keep my bank account ticking over and yet while rarely I get jealous, I'm much happier following my path in life, doing the things I want to do when I want to do them and not conforming to what's seen as the norm. Embrace being an uncle, it'll teach you a lot about life. I think 'sorting your life out' is an impossible task for anyone and is doomed to fail, you just need to be easier on yourself, que sera que sera, take everyday as it comes!!

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It's true and I think I've spoken in this thread before about the transformative effects that psychedelics have had on my mental health, literally equal to years of therapy I would say... but they're also really ****ing dangerous for anyone with mental health problems to experiment with and it's not something to just jump into hoping it might help. I literally had a very bad trip on Friday that could have been avoided if I wasn't such a dumbdumb. I at least had valium close by so it wasn't a disaster but the point is that while psychedelics have the possibility to give you access to self realisation usually blocked off, they can also open the Pandora's box of your subconscious and if you're a depressed bastard like me that can be very dangerous to do without a safety net. Anyone reading articles like this and thinking of experimenting should always go extremely slowly and safely

Edited by what?
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6 hours ago, what? said:

It's true and I think I've spoken in this thread before about the transformative effects that psychedelics have had on my mental health, literally equal to years of therapy I would say... but they're also really ****ing dangerous for anyone with mental health problems to experiment with and it's not something to just jump into hoping it might help. I literally had a very bad trip on Friday that could have been avoided if I wasn't such a dumbdumb. I at least had valium close by so it wasn't a disaster but the point is that while psychedelics have the possibility to give you access to self realisation usually blocked off, they can also open the Pandora's box of your subconscious and if you're a depressed bastard like me that can be very dangerous to do without a safety net. Anyone reading articles like this and thinking of experimenting should always go extremely slowly and safely

Good post mate.

 

It's great to see some progress I just hope that any legalisation and the concerns that come with it (be it shrooms or whatever) can be managed and communicated properly.

 

I've had some bad experiences on weed and it has made me kinda paranoid but I think that's because it's effects can be detrimental if you are in a negative headspace and I presume the same for psychedelics (which I am yet to try). I was a little scared of weed for a while because of the way my mind works but I soon realised that the effects were more about my own state of mind than anything else and that I have the power to control it. Once I realised that, it gave me the confidence to enjoy the high on my own.


I'm on a break from weed for a little bit whilst I sort some of my issues out but I still believe there are a lot of positives for it. If there is anything I would suggest for anyone wanting to try anything it would be to do it in an environment where you feel safe, with people you trust who have done it before. That way you have that safety net and the guidance to make your experience as positive as possible.

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Having had a dabble of most drugs in my yoof and having had positive experience with shrooms, purely as a trippy drug. I read this with great interest.

 

Chemical variety were more my thing and i never actually grew out of them. I think there is simply a time and a place for it.

 

Last time i got offered some though, i asked frank and he told me that at my age and with high blood pressure i was likely to die ?

 

Anyway i went on a reminisce (partly to explain my history with recreational drugs and general views on them, and partly just because reminiscing was ace ?), back to the article. I'd happily guinea pig the shit out of this as a possible way to end or manage this shit illness for me and others.what particularly appeals to me is that they are not marketed as magic happy pills, but that the process is to revisit while "enhanced" by the shroom juice, and feel now that i am older and wiser, i would handle it far better.

 

Not that i have the social circle for it anymore as everyone i knew "grew out of it" (or are still in the young adult mindset)

 

Anyone up for ft depression thread mushroom night though, i could be well in. Lets take it to another level.face to face recreationsl drug use sounds like a ****ing great hobby. (Semi serious, wouldnt take much to convince me?)

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Having had a dabble of most drugs in my yoof and having had positive experience with shrooms, purely as a trippy drug. I read this with great interest.

 

Chemical variety were more my thing and i never actually grew out of them. I think there is simply a time and a place for it.

 

Last time.i got offered some though, i asked frank and he told me that at my age and with high blood pressure i was likely to die ?

 

Anyway i went on a reminisce (partly to explain my history with recreational drugs and general views on them, and partly just because reminiscing was ace ?), back to the article. 

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The thing that probably fvcks me off the most is that I used to enjoy being on my own so much and now I can't stand my own mind and spend 70% of my time in the company of others in my own little world, disengaged from the conversation. I can hear myself churning out words because otherwise I would come off rude and strange but I don't even care. 

 

I know I'm subjecting myself to the same shit but I've got fvck all motivation to do anything else right now. Misery loves company. 

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18 minutes ago, ajthefox said:

The thing that probably fvcks me off the most is that I used to enjoy being on my own so much and now I can't stand my own mind and spend 70% of my time in the company of others in my own little world, disengaged from the conversation. I can hear myself churning out words because otherwise I would come off rude and strange but I don't even care. 

 

I know I'm subjecting myself to the same shit but I've got fvck all motivation to do anything else right now. Misery loves company. 

Sounds to me like you need to put yourself first mate.

 

If you are not engaging and its doing your head in more, avoid those situations. Take some me time. Whatever that means for you.

 

I scrolled back to see any personal posts by you in this thread, (getting past my bedtime so only skimmed it so apologies if my questions are already answered but it seems like you could do with somebody reaching out.)

 

You dont sound like your head space has improved from your last post in here. Have you seen your gp? Got any meds? Counselling sorted? Sounds like that is where you could do with being at right now relating it to my experiences.

 

From checking your profile, you are active on this site and seem to be engaging, and your depression doesnt shine through there, so my advice is to stick with communication online for a while, til you feel more like yourself. I do think proper help is right for you though.

 

Look after yourself. Chin up. You are not alone and your thinking is no different to what most on here have been through. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It just doesnt feel like it sometimes.

 

Use us on here, whether its to get deep on politics, chat shit, talk footie or get right into discussing your depression. Whatever you need, take it. Just look after yourself.

 

Good night and godspeed my friend.

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38 minutes ago, lavrentis said:

I've got psychosis, which really sucks.

Crikey, that took some googling to try to understand.

 

How does this impact day to day life?

 

Is it a constant, or like depression (and presumably anxiety) it's always there in the background but comes and goes?

 

What brought it to be diagnosed? What are your symptoms?

 

I know the word but had to google to try to understand more. It says bipolar and schizophrenia. Is yours one or the other or is psychosis an unhealthy mix of both?

 

Feel free to not answer, i know im asking a lot of questions but people in general dont know how to react to things they dont understand so generally ignore it and as this is the first time ive noticed you posting here, i fugure this is a first step for you of sorts and i dont want it to go ignored.

 

Would love to chat more and people on here (this thread specifically) are great and might be able to help in some small way, but if you dont want to elaborate, thats your choice and i respect that.

 

 

Edited by gw_leics772
Unignored is a double negative. Stay in school kids ?
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29 minutes ago, gw_leics772 said:

Crikey, that took some googling to try to understand.

 

How does this impact day to day life?

 

Is it a constant, or like depression (and presumably anxiety) it's always there in the background but comes and goes?

 

What brought it to be diagnosed? What are your symptoms?

 

I know the word but had to google to try to understand more. It says bipolar and schizophrenia. Is yours one or the other or is psychosis an unhealthy mix of both?

 

Feel free to not answer, i know im asking a lot of questions but people in general dont know how to react to things they dont understand so generally ignore it and as this is the first time ive noticed you posting here, i fugure this is a first step for you of sorts and i dont want it to go ignored.

 

Would love to chat more and people on here (this thread specifically) are great and might be able to help in some small way, but if you dont want to elaborate, thats your choice and i respect that.

 

 

 

Basically you lose touch of reality, delusions, thoughts, anxiety

 

I actually haven't been diagnosed, but its what they say I have.

 

Symptoms include, belief that thoughts are being sent to you from somewhere, tv and internet sending specific messages to you and slight paranoia.

 

The medication does help, but the side effects are awful so I try my best to manage off the medication.


It's very tough and impacts work, but my work have been good to me thank God.

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1 minute ago, lavrentis said:

 

Basically you lose touch of reality, delusions, thoughts, anxiety

 

I actually haven't been diagnosed, but its what they say I have.

 

Symptoms include, belief that thoughts are being sent to you from somewhere, tv and internet sending specific messages to you and slight paranoia.

 

The medication does help, but the side effects are awful so I try my best to manage off the medication.


It's very tough and impacts work, but my work have been good to me thank God.

Thanks for the insight.

 

Onviously each to their own but personally i hear of too many people trying to cope without medication.

 

I wouldnt be here now if it wasnt for my meds.( I truly believe that although no suicide attempts)

 

I also know of many where the drugs dont work... so know i am one of the lucky ones, but just dont be one of them who doesnt use the drugs because of lifes stigmas.

 

Kepp on keeping on 

 

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7 minutes ago, gw_leics772 said:

Thanks for the insight.

 

Onviously each to their own but personally i hear of too many people trying to cope without medication.

 

I wouldnt be here now if it wasnt for my meds.( I truly believe that although no suicide attempts)

 

I also know of many where the drugs dont work... so know i am one of the lucky ones, but just dont be one of them who doesnt use the drugs because of lifes stigmas.

 

Kepp on keeping on 

 

I forgot to mention, it seems to come in waves. Like one day you can be perfectly fine, then you have an awful day.

 

I'm very anti medication and try to fix the illness in other ways, but I will admit it does help the symptoms. It's just the side effects...

 

A couple of times I have had auditory hallucinations, but they are very rare for me. Others with my condition get them daily.

 

Just got to do what you can to live a normal life.

Edited by lavrentis
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I've mentioned it a few times already @lavrentis but there was a bbc doc on David Harewood who had psychosis in his early 20s. Really good watch. Think it'll still be on iplayer if you haven't seen it.

 

Well done for sharing anyway and all the best moving forward mate.

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10 minutes ago, ajthefox said:

I've mentioned it a few times already @lavrentis but there was a bbc doc on David Harewood who had psychosis in his early 20s. Really good watch. Think it'll still be on iplayer if you haven't seen it.

 

Well done for sharing anyway and all the best moving forward mate.


I watched it, it was a good watch. He's quite bad.

 

Thank you and it's tough, but i'm getting through it.

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