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On 28/07/2019 at 13:02, woznotwos said:

No kids , so that's something . Just the thought of starting again at 53 don't bode too well . 

 

try not to think about the starting again thing yet. don't try and hold on to what you've got because starting again looms over you.

 

is what you've got worth saving? was it working for you? will you actually be happier once single, all said and done? 

 

was it out of the blue or have you done something to bring it about?

 

lots of questions - sorry. PM if you want. going through the hardships of trying to save (or decide if there's anything to save) a marriage atm and it's difficult.

Edited by lifted*fox

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2 hours ago, lifted*fox said:

 

try not to think about the starting again thing yet. don't try and hold on to what you've got because starting again looms over you.

 

is what you've got worth saving? was it working for you? will you actually be happier once single, all said and done? 

 

was it out of the blue or have you done something to bring it about?

 

lots of questions - sorry. PM if you want. going through the hardships of trying to save (or decide if there's anything to save) a marriage atm and it's difficult.

No affairs , nothing , just drifted apart and mooching along until the spark went . I would have just carried on but she ended it . It'll be good for both of us i think in the long run. Its become more like brother/sister type relationship , if that makes any sense at all. To be fair in 3 days im over the heartbreak , its the other stresses going with it that are tough.

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11 minutes ago, woznotwos said:

No affairs , nothing , just drifted apart and mooching along until the spark went . I would have just carried on but she ended it . It'll be good for both of us i think in the long run. Its become more like brother/sister type relationship , if that makes any sense at all. To be fair in 3 days im over the heartbreak , its the other stresses going with it that are tough.

Someone I was speaking to recently told me that sometimes it's just the way it is - people pass in and out of each others lives and it wasn't always meant to be forever. Some people luck it out and end up together for 70 years and other relationships just weren't meant to be that may. You were good for each other once but it sounds like that isn't the case any more and it shouldn't be seen as a failure that it didn't work - just life, one of those things.

 

It resonated with me, hopefully it might do with you too. Good luck with it all, hope it all stays amicable and you find yourself in a better position soon enough. 

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10 hours ago, lifted*fox said:

Someone I was speaking to recently told me that sometimes it's just the way it is - people pass in and out of each others lives and it wasn't always meant to be forever. Some people luck it out and end up together for 70 years and other relationships just weren't meant to be that may. You were good for each other once but it sounds like that isn't the case any more and it shouldn't be seen as a failure that it didn't work - just life, one of those things.

 

It resonated with me, hopefully it might do with you too. Good luck with it all, hope it all stays amicable and you find yourself in a better position soon enough. 

Thanks mate , that's a good perspective to have .

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36 minutes ago, urban.spaceman said:

Does anyone else get huge anxiety issues when doing something that others find easy and wouldn’t even stop to worry about?

Yes, something very specific that is rooted in trauma from many years ago.  I'm not going to go into details as the power of suggestion to an already anxious person may simply increase their problems.  I've found that the easiest way to cope is to accept that I have an issue and try to handle it as best I can, with medication when necessary.  If I'd injured my leg and walked with a limp I wouldn't blame myself for it, neither do I get too hung up on my other issues.  I just keep going as best I can within my limitations.

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41 minutes ago, lavrentis said:

Had a relapse of psychosis. A lot of symptoms..

You've mentioned before that you suffered from psychosis and I didn't respond then as I have no personal experience of the condition (unlike depression).  I believe that some medications can help but some make it worse.  All I would suggest is that you keep your GP informed as to your condition, he/she may be able to recommend alternative treatments or send you to a specialist.  There's a good deal of knowledge out there that may help you manage the bad days.

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2 minutes ago, Crinklyfox said:

You've mentioned before that you suffered from psychosis and I didn't respond then as I have no personal experience of the condition (unlike depression).  I believe that some medications can help but some make it worse.  All I would suggest is that you keep your GP informed as to your condition, he/she may be able to recommend alternative treatments or send you to a specialist.  There's a good deal of knowledge out there that may help you manage the bad days.

Yeah, it came on bad after I changed meds so it's probably to do with that. I'm back on the old meds now.

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1 hour ago, lavrentis said:

Yeah, it came on bad after I changed meds so it's probably to do with that. I'm back on the old meds now.

Sorry you’ve had a relapse matey. I have no experience of psychosis but I’ve certainly had issues when changing meds. Hope these old ones are being better for you.

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2 hours ago, lifted*fox said:

I pranged hard just leaving the house to get a hair cut yesterday but it was my first outing in over a week and I am in the middle of a horrendous Valium withdrawal.

 

Anxiety is a beast to beat tbh dude. You literally have to have a word with yourself and tell yourself it's nothing to worry about. I often find overwhelming waves of anxiety pass if you just push through it.

 

Can I ask, do you exercise at all? I find my anxiety levels are always lower when I'm in a good pattern of running / lifting regularly. Give that a go.

 

Also - try to cut down on any food / drink that has caffeine in it - that doesn't help with anxiety.

 

Keep at it fella - you'll get past it. 

I don’t exercise very much at all - partly due to depression but also because I find it physically difficult thanks to injuries after a huge car crash a few years ago. I do try to do bits here are there but it can get extremely painful doing even simple things. I am going to clear some space in the garage for a treadmill though so we’ll see. Good point about the caffeine too, i think it’s rooibos tea for the next week or two. 

 

2 hours ago, Crinklyfox said:

Yes, something very specific that is rooted in trauma from many years ago.  I'm not going to go into details as the power of suggestion to an already anxious person may simply increase their problems.  I've found that the easiest way to cope is to accept that I have an issue and try to handle it as best I can, with medication when necessary.  If I'd injured my leg and walked with a limp I wouldn't blame myself for it, neither do I get too hung up on my other issues.  I just keep going as best I can within my limitations.

I need to remember the physical injury analogy sometimes. I’ve set myself a deadline to do the ‘thing’ in a couple of days which will hopefully take the pressure off.

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6 minutes ago, urban.spaceman said:

I don’t exercise very much at all - partly due to depression but also because I find it physically difficult thanks to injuries after a huge car crash a few years ago. I do try to do bits here are there but it can get extremely painful doing even simple things. I am going to clear some space in the garage for a treadmill though so we’ll see. Good point about the caffeine too, i think it’s rooibos tea for the next week or two. 

 

I need to remember the physical injury analogy sometimes. I’ve set myself a deadline to do the ‘thing’ in a couple of days which will hopefully take the pressure off.

Can’t beat Rooibos tea, lovely stuff.

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Well,sixth day on the meds today and i finally have my appetite back!Can't believe all i have eaten since Thursday last week was two packets of crisps(and that was yesterday).Had a few problems Dry Mouth,Headaches,feeling permantly sick and some very weird dreams.Just been to Spoons and had a steak and a a pint(which i only drank a quater of 'cause i just couldn't face it,and that's not like the old me!)Starting to feel a lot calmer and upbeat.....We'll see how it goes!

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16 minutes ago, PAULCFC said:

Well,sixth day on the meds today and i finally have my appetite back!Can't believe all i have eaten since Thursday last week was two packets of crisps(and that was yesterday).Had a few problems Dry Mouth,Headaches,feeling permantly sick and some very weird dreams.Just been to Spoons and had a steak and a a pint(which i only drank a quater of 'cause i just couldn't face it,and that's not like the old me!)Starting to feel a lot calmer and upbeat.....We'll see how it goes!

 

Are you on mirtazapine by any chance?

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9 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Are you on mirtazapine by any chance?

No mate,sertraline.Not good for the first few days....but i think it will be worth it.

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1 minute ago, PAULCFC said:

No mate,sertraline.Not good for the first few days....but i think it will be worth it.

 

Oh, ok. I asked because increased appetite (and consequent weight gain) is a side effect associated with mirtazapine.

 

The side effects you mentioned are common and usually ease off after a while. Hope it goes ok.

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10 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Does anyone else get huge anxiety issues when doing something that others find easy and wouldn’t even stop to worry about?

Im not sure this help all or any, but maybe?

 

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I don't know you @urban.spaceman, will probably never meet you, but weirdly I'm proud of you. Takes a lot to push through the doubts like you have done, even without anxiety and depression. People often talk about changing something, or reaching the next step in their life and then just stagnate. Well done.

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