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Depression

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1 hour ago, String fellow said:

Imo, CBT  and other 'talking it through' therapies are a waste of time, when trying to cope with depression. Why? Because the therapists don't really know how much their patients may be suffering mentally. They have standard questions like, 'How does that make you feel?', which give you the chance to explain. But having explained how you feel, nothing really improves, because the therapists themselves aren't you, and they aren't hard-wired to think like you. And if you tell them stuff that causes them to dislike you, that can make the therapy an even bigger waste of time. The best therapy is to indulge big-time in whatever turns you on, be it retail therapy, getting smashed on vodka, or whatever else helps to distract you from your current mindset. Be dead selfish, if that's what it takes to make the dark clouds become a bit less dark.

I don't agree with this - I have to distance myself from the above statement.

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I'm happy for others to disagree with me. In fact, I was expecting it. However, I speak from personal experience as regards CBT. Depression can be a 24/7 malaise, so spending an hour every week telling someone (who is paid to listen) how truly awful you think life is, isn't going to change things much, apart from keeping them in a job.

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10 minutes ago, String fellow said:

I'm happy for others to disagree with me. In fact, I was expecting it. However, I speak from personal experience as regards CBT. Depression can be a 24/7 malaise, so spending an hour every week telling someone (who is paid to listen) how truly awful you think life is, isn't going to change things much, apart from keeping them in a job.

If that's what happened, the issue is the quality of the therapist, not the concept of therapy.

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3 hours ago, String fellow said:

Imo, CBT  and other 'talking it through' therapies are a waste of time, when trying to cope with depression. Why? Because the therapists don't really know how much their patients may be suffering mentally. They have standard questions like, 'How does that make you feel?', which give you the chance to explain. But having explained how you feel, nothing really improves, because the therapists themselves aren't you, and they aren't hard-wired to think like you. And if you tell them stuff that causes them to dislike you, that can make the therapy an even bigger waste of time. The best therapy is to indulge big-time in whatever turns you on, be it retail therapy, getting smashed on vodka, or whatever else helps to distract you from your current mindset. Be dead selfish, if that's what it takes to make the dark clouds become a bit less dark.

Having 12 months of therapy in 2012 changed my life, and my therapist was a god send.

 

Just saying...

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14 minutes ago, String fellow said:

I'm happy for others to disagree with me. In fact, I was expecting it. However, I speak from personal experience as regards CBT. Depression can be a 24/7 malaise, so spending an hour every week telling someone (who is paid to listen) how truly awful you think life is, isn't going to change things much, apart from keeping them in a job.

to be fair, sometimes its hard to feel like from just talking (as much as i believe it can help) that anything has changed. Some people are very good at articulating and expressing how they feel and others aren't, everyone has their own ways of dealing with shit and thats okay, i personally dont advocate your methods mate but cant say I havent done the same in the past. 

 

A different take on an old saying but actions speak louder than words. 

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I found CBT completely useless for my own personal needs but wouldn't write it off as it seems to work wonders for some people.

 

Like High Peak says, I think it's the quality of the person you speak too. Mine just seemed like a robot. "Fill out this questionnaire" every week. Ask me a question but then give an almost scripted response when I spend a long time giving an answer. Felt completely broad brush when I had it and no tailoring to individual needs.

Edited by Rain King
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1 minute ago, Rain King said:

I found CBT completely useless for my own personal needs but wouldn't write it off as it seems to work wonders for some people.

 

Like High Peak says, I think it's the quality of the person you speak too. Mine just seemed like a robot. "Fill out this questionnaire" every week. Ask a question but then give an almost scripted response when I answer. Felt completely broad brush when I had it and no tailoring to individual needs.

Wow, that sounds a terrible experience. 

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Just now, HighPeakFox said:

Wow, that sounds a terrible experience. 

It has put me off going back to the doctors and led me to try and get through it on my own.

 

Luckily I'm in a good place at the moment and been feeling good for the last few months.

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The therapist I see nowadays (just two sessions per year) is really nice, but we always spend virtually the entire time discussing our shared interest in classical music! Maybe he's realised that that's a good form of therapy - not encouraging folk to moan about their troubles, but to get them chatting about their passions. Or maybe I'm talking utter b*ll*cks, as usual.

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5 minutes ago, String fellow said:

The therapist I see nowadays (just two sessions per year) is really nice, but we always spend virtually the entire time discussing our shared interest in classical music! Maybe he's realised that that's a good form of therapy - not encouraging folk to moan about their troubles, but to get them chatting about their passions. Or maybe I'm talking utter b*ll*cks, as usual.

I think it does help (talking about interests/passions), I don't live in Leicester so don't have many Leicester fans living nearby and using FoxesTalk is a good way to cast my mind off of real life stuff by having discussion with others in our common interest.

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26 minutes ago, String fellow said:

The therapist I see nowadays (just two sessions per year) is really nice, but we always spend virtually the entire time discussing our shared interest in classical music! Maybe he's realised that that's a good form of therapy - not encouraging folk to moan about their troubles, but to get them chatting about their passions. Or maybe I'm talking utter b*ll*cks, as usual.

After Life | Best Of The Therapist - YouTube

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Yup, who your therapist is makes all the difference.

 

I've had therapists I didn't find helpful. Some just repeated whatever I said back at me, or were clearly uncomfortable discussing specific topics. One (a counsellor rather than a psychotherapist) just said "Well I'm not allowed to diagnose" whenever I brought up concerns. My previous therapist was alright but I got a bit frustrated with him constantly diverting to small talk about football and work etc, I just wanted to spend the time discussing my issues.

 

I've finally found a good one now though, and it's done wonders. What makes a good therapist is someone who actually listens, who thinks deeply about what you tell them, offering up connections you might not have seen before, and challenges your thought processes where necessary. 

 

Also, CBT doesn't work with all situations. I've been told it would be less helpful with my specific issues. 

 

Edited by brucey
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3 hours ago, Leicesterpool said:

Loneliness is my problem at times, I just find out times the feeling of being left or forgotten by many. Affected me alot over the years. At present it's affecting me the most.

Do you have any routines you could do start? Outdoors,  parks, canals etc...

 

Just walking past people and a quick good morning, how's it going  can do wonders for the soul. You'll be surprised how many people will respond.  Bit difficult on the high street but somewhere relaxing parks, open spaces, canals can help too and get chatting. 

 

Either way, a walk does wonders especially when feeling down, upset, angry or all three!!

 

 

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3 hours ago, Leicesterpool said:

Loneliness is my problem at times, I just find out times the feeling of being left or forgotten by many. Affected me alot over the years. At present it's affecting me the most.

Left out how, in terms of activities or people just not speaking/texting/contacting you?

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31 minutes ago, Leicesterpool said:

I suppose both really.

Get some organised yourself bud.

 

As you get older (not sure on your age) you'll realise that you lose contact with a lot of people, but that doesn't mean they think of you any less. A lot of the lads I grew up with are in a group chat, but it rarely gets spoken in at the minute, they've all got busy jobs, they're buying houses, they're starting families etc. I'll only hear from a couple of them every week or so, but it doesn't play on my mind (I'm lucky in that respect).

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11 hours ago, Leicesterpool said:

Loneliness is my problem at times, I just find out times the feeling of being left or forgotten by many. Affected me alot over the years. At present it's affecting me the most.

Do you have time for any sporting or social group activities?  Because that's a way to meet other people with the same interests which gives you a head start in becoming friends with them.

 

I gradually lost touch with many (but not all) friends of my youth and middle years as our lives changed.  I joined a bowls club in my retirement and not only does it involve me in friendly sporting competition that I can handle at my age but there are now over a hundred people that I can chat to.

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10 hours ago, Leicesterpool said:

I suppose both really.

I used to feel the same. But something which has helped me is changing who I was 'relying' on. Try and be the organiser, and if people don't want to do stuff then that's on them. Find something which interests you and throw yourself into it, I've recently started a podcast, i'm only 5 episodes in but I've already reconnected with old friends through it!

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So the good news is I've managed to arrange a bit of my regular work from Friday, for the first time in almost 6 months, and that it will pay quite well.

 

The bad news is that it's literally 24/7 work, which is going to be so mentally and emotionally draining that I will barely be able to function after it. I know this because I've done this job for far too long and have longed for something better pretty much the whole time I've had it - the latter has been an endless source of my depression for a number of years and has contributed to me feeling trapped and worthless.

 

On the other hand, thanks to the mother****ing pandemic, beggars can't be choosers, so I'll have to grin and bear it, and look forward a staycation somewhere in the UK the week after.

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55 minutes ago, urban.spaceman said:

So the good news is I've managed to arrange a bit of my regular work from Friday, for the first time in almost 6 months, and that it will pay quite well.

 

The bad news is that it's literally 24/7 work, which is going to be so mentally and emotionally draining that I will barely be able to function after it. I know this because I've done this job for far too long and have longed for something better pretty much the whole time I've had it - the latter has been an endless source of my depression for a number of years and has contributed to me feeling trapped and worthless.

 

On the other hand, thanks to the mother****ing pandemic, beggars can't be choosers, so I'll have to grin and bear it, and look forward a staycation somewhere in the UK the week after.

Do you have a passion that you could monetise? Literally anything can be done online to create income. Easier said than done i Know

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