Depression

[Ozwin 1,512]

My ex has been in touch giving me signals that she regrets her decision and may have dreams of us getting back together in the future. She's essentially apologised for being so cold and for making the decision so quickly. Weird one. Thrown me a bit. Obviously I'm not going to go running back to her but I do believe everyone can make mistakes.

[HighPeakFox 12,198]

1 minute ago, Ozwin said:

My ex has been in touch giving me signals that she regrets her decision and may have dreams of us getting back together in the future. She's essentially apologised for being so cold and for making the decision so quickly. Weird one. Thrown me a bit. Obviously I'm not going to go running back to her but I do believe everyone can make mistakes.

Take your time. 

[ajthefox 2,594]

On 25/10/2020 at 17:44, Ozwin said:

My ex has been in touch giving me signals that she regrets her decision and may have dreams of us getting back together in the future. She's essentially apologised for being so cold and for making the decision so quickly. Weird one. Thrown me a bit. Obviously I'm not going to go running back to her but I do believe everyone can make mistakes.

 

On 25/10/2020 at 17:45, HighPeakFox said:

Take your time. 

It's a weird time for everyone - I've been thinking a fair bit recently about a girl I broke up with in February (it was only a short term thing). I don't how much of that is me overthinking and being blinded by the rose-tinted specs because of how grey covid has turned everything. Be careful and keep us posted.

Edited 26 October 2020 by ajthefox

[stripeyfox 4,271]

On 25/10/2020 at 17:44, Ozwin said:

My ex has been in touch giving me signals that she regrets her decision and may have dreams of us getting back together in the future. She's essentially apologised for being so cold and for making the decision so quickly. Weird one. Thrown me a bit. Obviously I'm not going to go running back to her but I do believe everyone can make mistakes.

This is always a tough one. Going through a separation from my wife at the moment. To be honest I don't think either one of us actually wants to get back together having come this far, but I can see how it could be a tempting option.

 

But I don't think I could go back now - could probably patch up for a while but we'd end up back in this position again I think

 

You need to give yourself plenty of time to think about it. How are you feeling with life without her? 

 

[HighPeakFox 12,198]

Thoroughly depressing to read some of the hard man ignorance in the Chilwell thread. Ignorance is so ugly.

[Devonfox1884 855]

9 hours ago, HighPeakFox said:

Thoroughly depressing to read some of the hard man ignorance in the Chilwell thread. Ignorance is so ugly.

This. I can really relate the Ben as well, I can never say as I’ve had depression, but I do suffer periods of low mood/confidence from time to time and it’s really draining. Good to hear he’s getting back to himself, met him briefly a couple of times and he seemed a really nice guy. 

[Charl91 2,637]

Suffering from chronic pain for the past 8 months, with no end in sight. Not sure which is worse, the physical or mental aspect.

[Mark 'expert' Lawrenson 2,824]

On 27/10/2020 at 09:28, stripeyfox said:

This is always a tough one. Going through a separation from my wife at the moment. To be honest I don't think either one of us actually wants to get back together having come this far, but I can see how it could be a tempting option.

 

But I don't think I could go back now - could probably patch up for a while but we'd end up back in this position again I think

 

You need to give yourself plenty of time to think about it. How are you feeling with life without her? 

 

I went through a very painful break up 3 years ago, I’d known her 30 odd years, both at fault, my kids refuse to meet my new partner which makes me extremely sad. 
I was depressed, scared, very anxious and had to move house on top of everything. 
Im a great believer in the old saying time is a great healer, but wow that time goes on and on and on.

I couldn’t go back even if she wanted me

to, I wasn’t happy, and that is the bottom line.

Still it’s all very sad and I still get anxiety about things now.

Good luck to you with what you’re going through. Tough times, I hope you’re getting plenty of support.

[Fightforever 928]

On 29/10/2020 at 23:11, HighPeakFox said:

Thoroughly depressing to read some of the hard man ignorance in the Chilwell thread. Ignorance is so ugly.

Some people have a very limited emotional intelligence its just the way things are it isn't really their fault.

[Fightforever 928]

On 01/11/2020 at 09:11, Charl91 said:

Suffering from chronic pain for the past 8 months, with no end in sight. Not sure which is worse, the physical or mental aspect.

You tried CBD oil. It works really well for some.

[HighPeakFox 12,198]

On 01/11/2020 at 09:11, Charl91 said:

Suffering from chronic pain for the past 8 months, with no end in sight. Not sure which is worse, the physical or mental aspect.

Best wishes to you. I hope tonight's result has number the pain a little.

[tom27111 3,665]

I've not been on this thread for a couple of years now, and I feel a bit guilty about that.

 

Some of you might remember that I was having a tough time. A really tough time.

 

Things are good now, I've basically built a new life for myself and it's great. Even though I've recently been made redundant, I can live with that now. 

 

Got an amazing girlfriend and stepkids and in these crazy times, it could be worse.

 

There's loads of you I need to thank for getting me through it all @Izzy and @Countryfox are the ones that stick out, but there were plenty more of you.

 

For anyone who is struggling, keep going. Please. It gets better.

 

What an amazing community we have on here 

[Izzy 24,013]

6 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

I've not been on this thread for a couple of years now, and I feel a bit guilty about that.

 

Some of you might remember that I was having a tough time. A really tough time.

 

Things are good now, I've basically built a new life for myself and it's great. Even though I've recently been made redundant, I can live with that now. 

 

Got an amazing girlfriend and stepkids and in these crazy times, it could be worse.

 

There's loads of you I need to thank for getting me through it all @Izzy and @Countryfox are the ones that stick out, but there were plenty more of you.

 

For anyone who is struggling, keep going. Please. It gets better.

 

What an amazing community we have on here 

Made my day reading this Tom. I remember you were in a really dark place and we were all genuinely concerned for you on here at one stage.

 

Absolutely thrilled that you've turned things around and things are good now.

 

You're a shining example that we can overcome our demons and come out the other side in one piece.

 

Really chuffed for you mate  

 

[tom27111 3,665]

1 minute ago, Izzy said:

Made my day reading this Tom. I remember you were in a really dark place and we were all genuinely concerned for you on here at one stage.

 

Absolutely thrilled that you've turned things around and things are good now.

 

You're a shining example that we can overcome our demons and come out the other side in one piece.

 

Really chuffed for you mate  

 

Thanks mate, without you and a few others, I genuinely doubt I'd still be here.

 

I also promise to make more of a contribution to this thread if anyone else is struggling. Like you say, I'm an example that it can be overcome.

 

But only because of the kindness of people on here. 

 

I honestly can't thank you all enough.

[urban.spaceman 33,185]

2 hours ago, tom27111 said:

I've not been on this thread for a couple of years now, and I feel a bit guilty about that.

 

Some of you might remember that I was having a tough time. A really tough time.

 

Things are good now, I've basically built a new life for myself and it's great. Even though I've recently been made redundant, I can live with that now. 

 

Got an amazing girlfriend and stepkids and in these crazy times, it could be worse.

 

There's loads of you I need to thank for getting me through it all @Izzy and @Countryfox are the ones that stick out, but there were plenty more of you.

 

For anyone who is struggling, keep going. Please. It gets better.

 

What an amazing community we have on here 

So ****ing happy for you mate 

 

I remember your posts on here and we were all very concerned for you. 
 

To read how well you’re doing really warms my heart! It’s so important for people who are suffering in their own way to have such inspiration.

 

Recovery is a rocky road but it’s made easier when people share their success stories. 
 

There’s always hope. Never give up.

 

x

[urban.spaceman 33,185]

It’s weird how anxiety creeps up on you and yet when it hits you realise it’s been coming for a few weeks!

[stripeyfox 4,271]

On 03/11/2020 at 22:24, tom27111 said:

I've not been on this thread for a couple of years now, and I feel a bit guilty about that.

 

Some of you might remember that I was having a tough time. A really tough time.

 

Things are good now, I've basically built a new life for myself and it's great. Even though I've recently been made redundant, I can live with that now. 

 

Got an amazing girlfriend and stepkids and in these crazy times, it could be worse.

 

There's loads of you I need to thank for getting me through it all @Izzy and @Countryfox are the ones that stick out, but there were plenty more of you.

 

For anyone who is struggling, keep going. Please. It gets better.

 

What an amazing community we have on here 

I remember it well mate. Was a couple of years ago - near Christmas I think? 

 

So pleased to see things have improved mate. all the best to you

 

 

[Leicester_Loyal 5,957]

Got to admit I don't think I've ever been in this thread before, it's hard to read what some of you go through, but the success (if that's the right word) stories of others coming out the other side are great to read.

 

Can understand where the posters who have split up with their partners are coming from, I think a lot of couples have split up this year due to the lockdown situation, me and my gf of almost 5 years decided to part ways in May, but we still keep in contact which is pretty weird, but she's like my best mate. I was very down in the dumps, I wouldn't say I was depressed though, but you do feel like you are at the time. I've seen another lady since but that ended recently too as we weren't right for each other. Thankfully I've managed to work all the way through COVID so that's taken my mind off any problems I had. Hopefully 2021 will be much better for me personally, keep working hard at work, get a few holidays booked in and purchase my very first house.

 

Anyone that ever needs to talk just either stick a post in here or they can PM me if need be. Stay safe everyone!

[ajthefox 2,594]

On 03/11/2020 at 22:24, tom27111 said:

I've not been on this thread for a couple of years now, and I feel a bit guilty about that.

 

Some of you might remember that I was having a tough time. A really tough time.

 

Things are good now, I've basically built a new life for myself and it's great. Even though I've recently been made redundant, I can live with that now. 

 

Got an amazing girlfriend and stepkids and in these crazy times, it could be worse.

 

There's loads of you I need to thank for getting me through it all @Izzy and @Countryfox are the ones that stick out, but there were plenty more of you.

 

For anyone who is struggling, keep going. Please. It gets better.

 

What an amazing community we have on here 

Sorry to hear about the redundancy. but I'm really happy for you mate.

 

I've seen you post a fair amount and you always seem to be positive, which is obviously some reflection of your state of mind. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who noticed and was really pleased to see it.

 

Don't beat yourself up about not posting. I go through phases of activity in here and like to acknowledge people as often as I can find the words to but ultimately we have to do what's right for ourselves first. If you can't find the words to post, someone else will. I think that's been the case in this thread for a long time.

 

Hopefully the positivity continues for you, Tom.

[ajthefox 2,594]

Gotta be honest I was feeling like complete shite earlier. Only now after a joint, a cry (which came out of nowhere) and a few whatsapp messages I've noticed how much I've been holding in recently.

 

I'm ok, generally, but I'm also angry, I'm frustrated and I'm ****ing fed up.

 

It sounds selfish but I feel like I've had what would've been the best year of my life (and at least a few years compound interest) ripped away from me in front of my eyes. I was on a genuine roll in so many ways that I hadn't been a year ago. And now all that momentum has gone. I have none of it left. It hurts.

 

I'm turning 30 next week and I feel like I'm in fvcking mourning for the part of me that exists in an alternate universe but not this one.

 

At least that's what the darkness wants me to focus on. The reality is that I am still going, just. I've been slowed down a lot but the energy is still there. The age thing is silly really. It's a number, and I am relatively happy with where I am, it's just that not being able to celebrate properly and the effects of this last year and what is to come is making it really hard to want to celebrate right now.

 

I will celebrate, I'll do what I can with those I have around me but a small part of me will be somewhere else.

Here's hoping to a successful vaccine rollout and a prosperous if understandably stunted 2021.

 

TL:DR - Life's a bit shit right now but it will get better. I like using metaphors to describe a depressive episode.

[Rain King 1,756]

Had enough. Everything is so grey and dismal.

 

[Crinklyfox 2,035]

9 hours ago, Rain King said:

Had enough. Everything is so grey and dismal.

 

Many of us feel the same way sometimes.  I've had times in my life when I couldn't see a future worth having but it was there, I just couldn't see it.

 

When I feel bad now I try to look at my life as a whole.  Did I feel this bad last week, last month, last year.  The answer to one of these is no, I've had better times before.  And in reality there are better times ahead for most of us.  There have been many on this thread who have posted when in the evil grip of depression and months later have posted again that they are in a better place.  Please just read the posts in this thread.

 

Depression can be a physical illness.  When I had it my GP told me that it had caused medical imbalances which had to be corrected before I could recover.  So I was prescribed medication which helped me break the cycle of constantly feeling low and which gave me the opportunity to address the problems which had caused me to feel that way.  So if you can please consider telling your GP of your feelings.  He or she may be able to help.

 

 

[Rain King 1,756]

1 hour ago, Crinklyfox said:

Many of us feel the same way sometimes.  I've had times in my life when I couldn't see a future worth having but it was there, I just couldn't see it.

 

When I feel bad now I try to look at my life as a whole.  Did I feel this bad last week, last month, last year.  The answer to one of these is no, I've had better times before.  And in reality there are better times ahead for most of us.  There have been many on this thread who have posted when in the evil grip of depression and months later have posted again that they are in a better place.  Please just read the posts in this thread.

 

Depression can be a physical illness.  When I had it my GP told me that it had caused medical imbalances which had to be corrected before I could recover.  So I was prescribed medication which helped me break the cycle of constantly feeling low and which gave me the opportunity to address the problems which had caused me to feel that way.  So if you can please consider telling your GP of your feelings.  He or she may be able to help.

 

 

Thanks for the response. I've done just that in the past. Tried various tablets, done CBT. Noting seems to work. It's just exhausting.

[Buce 12,233]

12 hours ago, Rain King said:

Had enough. Everything is so grey and dismal.

 

 

Sorry to hear that, mate.

 

Is there anything in particular that has precipitated this latest bout? Feel free to message me if it's not something you want to discuss in an open forum - I can't promise any answers but I can promise discretion.

[Crinklyfox 2,035]

2 hours ago, Rain King said:

Thanks for the response. I've done just that in the past. Tried various tablets, done CBT. Noting seems to work. It's just exhausting.

It's really frustrating when remedies don't work, but unless you've tried everything there's always the possibility that something will.

 

I can relate to the exhaustion.  I haven't experienced prolonged clinical depression but I have suffered with a heart condition that was heavily impacting my life.  Basically my heart was working properly for some of the time but then went into an arrhythmia, during which time I couldn't do much as although my heart was beating (quickly) it wasn't getting the blood around my body efficiently.  I was experiencing this problem frequently, and every time my heart went wrong it felt like a kick in the teeth.  When it first started happening I just gritted my teeth and swore I'd get through it, but when it kept happening day after day my will to carry on just got weaker and weaker.  After over a year of this I felt certain that it would finish me off and even got as far as planning my own funeral.  But all that time I kept going back to the specialist treating me and trying different drugs and regimes until eventually things started to improve.  That took a couple of years and mentally I found it really hard to move from the mindset of believing that I couldn't go on to one where I was looking forward to the future.  That was over twenty years ago. and I'm glad that I managed to keep going when I couldn't see a future.

 

There are many regular contributors to this thread who have had issues with depression and overcome them in different ways.  I hope they can help you.