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Bellend Sebastian

What's The Worst Smell You've Ever Encountered?

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I've got that Friday feeling.  Can you tell?

 

While draining stagnant water from the innards of my washing machine last night, which smelt pretty ripe, I can tell you, I started reflecting on previous disgusting odours I have encountered.

 

Obviously, a pile of sick or a chod smell pretty bad, but what about unexpected pungency from other quarters?


The worst smells I can recall are my housemate's carrots that turned into some sort of ectoplasm on a shelf in my kitchen, and the room in which unspecified waste material was kept in a local factory where I was employed briefly many years ago making a popular meat based snack, which I can only describe as not being of this earth (the smell, not the snack).

 

Get sharing, good people.  Rep points available for anything that makes me feel a bit sick

 

 

 

 

 

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I remember going into an industrial freezer where they made dog food at master foods in Melton Mowbray, how people do shifts in there daily I have no idea, it smelt repulsive.

It took me a little while to adjust the stench of fish sauce in Bangkok, here in the UK for a curry we would use a small amount, they just take the top off the bottle and throw it all in, stinks but tastes good.

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I was at my Dads house while he was on holiday and noticed some out of date stuff in the food cupboard. Amongst them was a jar of some kind of pickled Asparagus seven years out of date. Out of curiosity I unscrewed the lid.....it was a twin assault, the sharp vinegary smell went up the nostrils and felt like I was having a nosebleed whilst a second stranger smell went down the mouth into the throat and caused a sensation of strangulation and suffocation as my impulse reaction to reject it kicked in. I wouldn't have minded throwing up and being rid of it but instead I was on the verge of it for hours (with hindsight I should have helped things along and forced the issue). 

 

It was something like these -

 

Pickled-white-asparagus-2.thumb.jpg.d6a8b79371f9d5bba3faf7f4021e8ef8.jpg

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Bogs again, specifically the one in the bookies on Aikman Avenue when it used to be Manny Bernstein when I was about 15.

 

Special shout out to a taxi driver's feet in Paramatta as well that was so bad me and a friend took a decision to get out half way through the journey.

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I went to a Camembert factory in Normandy on a school trip once.  Worse 2 hours of my life.  How I wasn't sick I have literally no idea. 

 

Closely followed by the cooked button mushrooms you heathens eat with a full English breakfast.  What the actual **** is wrong with you?

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Just now, Jon the Hat said:

I went to a Camembert factory in Normandy on a school trip once.  Worse 2 hours of my life.  How I wasn't sick I have literally no idea. 

 

Closely followed by the cooked button mushrooms you heathens eat with a full English breakfast.  What the actual **** is wrong with you?

If you don't like mushrooms you've never had them cooked properly.

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Just now, Jon the Hat said:

You people are like ****ing religious zealots!  **** off with your vile fungus!!!

Humour me, thinly slice (very important, completely negates the texture problem) 3 or 4 of the little buggers and fry in the pan you used for bacon with a pinch of maldon, a sliced finger chilli, a crushed and chopped garlic clove, a generous dollop of olive oil and some dark soy sauce to finish it all off.  You can thank me later.

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42 minutes ago, fazzyfox said:

I was at my Dads house while he was on holiday and noticed some out of date stuff in the food cupboard. Amongst them was a jar of some kind of pickled Asparagus seven years out of date. Out of curiosity I unscrewed the lid.....it was a twin assault, the sharp vinegary smell went up the nostrils and felt like I was having a nosebleed whilst a second stranger smell went down the mouth into the throat and caused a sensation of strangulation and suffocation as my impulse reaction to reject it kicked in. I wouldn't have minded throwing up and being rid of it but instead I was on the verge of it for hours (with hindsight I should have helped things along and forced the issue). 

 

It was something like these -

 

Pickled-white-asparagus-2.thumb.jpg.d6a8b79371f9d5bba3faf7f4021e8ef8.jpg

That's what I'm talking about.

 

That's the very definition of 'misadventure'. What's the old saying? Curiosity made the cat lose its breakfast, or something

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2 smells spring to mind.

 

1 - My first job was as a pot wash at the Gynsills 16 years ago. The pot wash machine had a grease trap which collected up all the food inside the machine. When it came to emptying out the grease trap the smell was beyond horrible.

 

2 - One of the worst smells ever. I was out for a meal one night with work friends and one of them decided to have a cheese board. One of the cheeses was called 'stinky bishop'. I've never tasted or smelt a cheese so foul. Was like a mixture of sweaty feet, belly button fluff and protein shake farts.

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Through work repairing an old motor from a dairy farm. The smell of years and years worth of dried milk and shyte being warmed by a blow torch was something that I will never forget! If it wasn’t for the fact I didn’t want to open my mouth I would have vommed on the spot.

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My parents used to run a funeral business. When I was 18, I got roused from my bed in the early hours and was told that we needed 3 men to move a corpse in Thamesmead, which was 5 miles away. It was the coldest night of the year. When we got there, we discovered that it was a man in his mid-20s, who weighed approximately 18st, and had suffocated himself with carbon monoxide by keeping his car engine going in his garage, five days ago. I have never smelt anything which was as vile as that. Apparently carbon monoxide poisoning, if it's bad enough, makes your stomach explode. We drove back with all the windows open and all of us, including the driver, were dangling our heads out - it was definitely a **** the Highway Code moment. We had to have the hearse valeted later that day, and we had to pay double the price to find someone who'd do it.

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Maybe not the worst, but definitely the one that has stuck with me - almost literally. 

 

When I was probably about nine or ten, I was bought a packet of pork scratchings when my folks were at the pub. It was probably late spring, because I put a half-eaten packet in my coat zip pocket, zipped it up and went home, where it was washed and hung up...

 

...Until the autumn when I came to use the coat again. The smell I encountered when I opened that zip pocket was something else. And made even worse by the fact that my mum just got rid of the bag, washed it a couple of times and I had to continue wearing it, always with a slight residual smell of fleshy rotten porky scratchings.


Minging. 

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when i was in high school, after we came back after lunch, we went to class, me and couple of my mates cought a really weird smell coming from the desk drawers, i think i thought it was a gas leak or something at first, and i kid you not, we found out that someone took a dump there lol

 

that crap smelled like ebola. there is no way a healthy person can manage to create such smell, you know how when your eyes start tingling after you smell a really toxic chemical, it was like that. it smelled like babon farts and expired torpedo heads.

 

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14 minutes ago, kingcarr21 said:

2 smells spring to mind.

 

1 - My first job was as a pot wash at the Gynsills 16 years ago. The pot wash machine had a grease trap which collected up all the food inside the machine. When it came to emptying out the grease trap the smell was beyond horrible.

 

2 - One of the worst smells ever. I was out for a meal one night with work friends and one of them decided to have a cheese board. One of the cheeses was called 'stinky bishop'. I've never tasted or smelt a cheese so foul. Was like a mixture of sweaty feet, belly button fluff and protein shake farts.

Oh shit I used to sell that stuff at the cheese counter I worked on a few years ago.  I'd successfully repressed that memory until you piped up.  The Devil's odour.

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years ago, on my first ever visit to the states i caught quite bad pnemonia. They actually wanted to admit me to hospital but i thought stuff that, i havnt come all this way to sit in a hospital bed, so they reluctantly dosed me up and sent me back to my brothers. I ended up hacking up the most disgusting stuff into a plastic bag i got next to my bed. Stayed in bed for a couple more days and then completely forgot about it until about 2 weeks later when i was packing up ready to catch my flight.. i saw this bag and thought " ooh, whats that?" stuck my head in to have a good look and caught the most horrendous whiff that about knocked me off my feet. whatever was stinky in there in the first place had  rotted aswell. It was Truly awful.

 

 

 

 

 

These days i work in a wound care center and we have the  most disgusting wounds..

 

 

One patient has such bad Lymphedema that his legs are constantly leaking fluid.. So bad infact he has to put his legs in plastic bags just to leave the house or he will leave a trail of fluid behind him. We literally have to take turns to treat him each week the smell is that bad. One time when i went in to treat him i was taking the bag off  one leg and didint realize there was a part still stuck  on by tape and ended up spilling the 'leg juice' all over me. It was particularly bad that week as he had been staying at his sisters and the dressings hadnt been changed for 4 days and the bags hadnt been taken off for that length of time either - they are supposed to be changed daily.. I got sent home as the staff refused to work with me! Took a whole to get the smell out of my car.

 

 

When i was a teenager we had a  'friend' who used to fart into his hand and shove his hand into our nose/face. That was pretty bad too.

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Festival toilets and cat vomit are terrible, but the worst for me was a service station in France in the middle of nowhere (can't remember where) - on top of the usual shit stench, this particular one smelt like where the male population of France goes to annually deposit their smegma collection, and that particular bin has never been emptied

 

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21 minutes ago, the fox said:

when i was in high school, after we came back after lunch, we went to class, me and couple of my mates cought a really weird smell coming from the desk drawers, i think i thought it was a gas leak or something at first, and i kid you not, we found out that someone took a dump there lol

 

that crap smelled like ebola. there is no way a healthy person can manage to create such smell, you know how when your eyes start tingling after you smell a really toxic chemical, it was like that. it smelled like Jamie Vardys farts and expired torpedo heads.

 

Thats enough now Foxy !!! ....    :)

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