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Bellend Sebastian

What talent do you wish you had?

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Hang on this should be in the joke thread ...   too late I've started now ...

 

 

There was an Irishman, a Scotsman and an Englishman ...    whilst out walking together one day the stumbled across an old glass bottle ...   "Whats this ?" said Paddy as he picked it up ...   pulling out the cork a strange mist streamed out of the bottle and as it cleared a magnificent genie stood before them ...     "Thanks for letting me out lads, I've been trapped in that bottle for over 2,000 years and as a thank you I will grant you all one wish" ...      "Wow !" said Paddy and after a quick think he blurted out "Oi wish oi could know da winning lottery numbers da week before day were drawn!" ...     "Done !" said the genie.   " Angus the Scotsman piped up next ...  "I wish that orrlll wimmen would find me irrresisstable and nay have the power to say noo !!" ...   sorted said the genie !    The Englishman had been in deep thought ....    "Well ?"  said the genie ...    "Well ..."   said the Englishman ...   "I'd like to be able to jump over houses" ...      

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17 minutes ago, Countryfox said:

Hang on this should be in the joke thread ...   too late I've started now ...

 

 

There was an Irishman, a Scotsman and an Englishman ...    whilst out walking together one day the stumbled across an old glass bottle ...   "Whats this ?" said Paddy as he picked it up ...   pulling out the cork a strange mist streamed out of the bottle and as it cleared a magnificent genie stood before them ...     "Thanks for letting me out lads, I've been trapped in that bottle for over 2,000 years and as a thank you I will grant you all one wish" ...      "Wow !" said Paddy and after a quick think he blurted out "Oi wish oi could know da winning lottery numbers da week before day were drawn!" ...     "Done !" said the genie.   " Angus the Scotsman piped up next ...  "I wish that orrlll wimmen would find me irrresisstable and nay have the power to say noo !!" ...   sorted said the genie !    The Englishman had been in deep thought ....    "Well ?"  said the genie ...    "Well ..."   said the Englishman ...   "I'd like to be able to jump over houses" ...      

 

Good choice by the Englishman.

 

Once the women see him jumping over houses they'll lose all interest in the Scotsman in favour of the prestige of association with the talented Englishman.

As for the Irishman, his lottery win will be dwarfed by the sums paid to the Englishman to display his talent.

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On 23/12/2017 at 11:58, Countryfox said:

Hang on this should be in the joke thread ...   too late I've started now ...

 

 

There was an Irishman, a Scotsman and an Englishman ...    whilst out walking together one day the stumbled across an old glass bottle ...   "Whats this ?" said Paddy as he picked it up ...   pulling out the cork a strange mist streamed out of the bottle and as it cleared a magnificent genie stood before them ...     "Thanks for letting me out lads, I've been trapped in that bottle for over 2,000 years and as a thank you I will grant you all one wish" ...      "Wow !" said Paddy and after a quick think he blurted out "Oi wish oi could know da winning lottery numbers da week before day were drawn!" ...     "Done !" said the genie.   " Angus the Scotsman piped up next ...  "I wish that orrlll wimmen would find me irrresisstable and nay have the power to say noo !!" ...   sorted said the genie !    The Englishman had been in deep thought ....    "Well ?"  said the genie ...    "Well ..."   said the Englishman ...   "I'd like to be able to jump over houses" ...      

G'won then. What have I missed?

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On ‎23‎/‎12‎/‎2017 at 11:58, Countryfox said:

Hang on this should be in the joke thread ...   too late I've started now ...

 

 

There was an Irishman, a Scotsman and an Englishman ...    whilst out walking together one day the stumbled across an old glass bottle ...   "Whats this ?" said Paddy as he picked it up ...   pulling out the cork a strange mist streamed out of the bottle and as it cleared a magnificent genie stood before them ...     "Thanks for letting me out lads, I've been trapped in that bottle for over 2,000 years and as a thank you I will grant you all one wish" ...      "Wow !" said Paddy and after a quick think he blurted out "Oi wish oi could know da winning lottery numbers da week before day were drawn!" ...     "Done !" said the genie.   " Angus the Scotsman piped up next ...  "I wish that orrlll wimmen would find me irrresisstable and nay have the power to say noo !!" ...   sorted said the genie !    The Englishman had been in deep thought ....    "Well ?"  said the genie ...    "Well ..."   said the Englishman ...   "I'd like to be able to jump over houses" ...      

 

13 hours ago, toddybad said:

G'won then. What have I missed?

 

On ‎22‎/‎12‎/‎2017 at 20:25, Alf Bentley said:

I'd like to be able to jump over a house.

 

Just imagine, if you were walking home from the pub with your mates or walking a young lady home from a restaurant, and you suddenly leaped and soared over a house.

You'd soon be the talk of the town. Everyone would know you as the bloke who jumped over houses.

 

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