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Gambling Addiction - Need Help, A Chat - Read This!

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On 23/08/2018 at 11:58, Ric Flair said:

The pull is the buzz of potentially winning very big but the real adrenaline of getting yourself out the shit when you're staring off the cliff of financial ruin is beyond words. It's hell on Earth, it's the greatest feeling on earth all rolled in to one. Never, ever go there. Where it stems from though is a failure to accept reality. I'd always had a belief that I'd win big and my life would be complete, I'd be happy and I'd care for my wife and son happily ever after it's fcukin bull shit and so warped. Any problem in life, I'd hit the online sites as a release. If I lost I'd have something else to worry about and if I won then I'd forget about my problems as I'd have free money to blow to make myself feel better. What a pecker.

This is so true, I’m a former addict and lost my savings, student loan, money I borrowed, and 99% of a hardship grant from uni, my last pound spin on an online slot won £7000 and just like that I was saved. Can’t remember ever feeling more buzzing and I have been an opiate addict in the past too. 

 

Please dont think hunk you will save yourself though, that £7000 went back in. 

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1 hour ago, Ric Flair said:

If anyone battling gambling problems feels the temptation of Cheltenham this week is too much, drop me a message and we can talk it through. This is my first Cheltenham since I accepted I am a compulsive gambler and there's been a few flashbacks to what felt like very fond memories, but also some horrible experiences that have led me to this point. I have come off the usual social media outlets for the week to spare me further from the onslaught of coverage. It's not so much i'll relapse but it was always a massive social event each year for me, i'd take the whole week off work to either attend or to watch it all with mates up the boozer etc. There is an element of missing that, but at the same time there are a thousand reasons why I hate the very being of gambling and everything associated with it. It's important to replace what appeared to be an obsession and a passion with something more positive so I am looking forward to a golfing trip coming up soon and that's the focus if there's any negative thoughts creep in.

 

I am now 10 months in to my recovery, it's a life long recovery and I work on it every day. It's quite staggering how much life improves when you gain the strength and motivation to tackle such a devastating addiction like gambling. It also gives you the strength to face things when life is challenging, something you simply cannot do when gambling. It's not a magic wand but you're not afforded a perfect life and by not gambling you have a much better ability to deal with life. Long may that continue.

You’re an inspiration mate :appl:

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2 hours ago, Ric Flair said:

If anyone battling gambling problems feels the temptation of Cheltenham this week is too much, drop me a message and we can talk it through. This is my first Cheltenham since I accepted I am a compulsive gambler and there's been a few flashbacks to what felt like very fond memories, but also some horrible experiences that have led me to this point. I have come off the usual social media outlets for the week to spare me further from the onslaught of coverage. It's not so much i'll relapse but it was always a massive social event each year for me, i'd take the whole week off work to either attend or to watch it all with mates up the boozer etc. There is an element of missing that, but at the same time there are a thousand reasons why I hate the very being of gambling and everything associated with it. It's important to replace what appeared to be an obsession and a passion with something more positive so I am looking forward to a golfing trip coming up soon and that's the focus if there's any negative thoughts creep in.

 

I am now 10 months in to my recovery, it's a life long recovery and I work on it every day. It's quite staggering how much life improves when you gain the strength and motivation to tackle such a devastating addiction like gambling. It also gives you the strength to face things when life is challenging, something you simply cannot do when gambling. It's not a magic wand but you're not afforded a perfect life and by not gambling you have a much better ability to deal with life. Long may that continue.

Good man. Recognising the temptation is there and the risk of falling into it is a good step towards avoiding it.

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23 minutes ago, LCFC FOX said:

How do you know if you’ve got an addiction?

 

I bet £10 every Saturday on an accumulator, is this bad? :dunno:

Every addict is different but the common denominator is a lack of control. Even a lack of control will for many never be seen as an addiction because they manage it to a certain extent. 

 

How does that weekly bet make you feel? I wouldn't want make assumptions that to many might seem like a moderate bet but could be a problem for some individuals. All I'd say is if you're worried about your gambling, try and have a break and see how you feel.

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14 hours ago, LCFC FOX said:

How do you know if you’ve got an addiction?

 

I bet £10 every Saturday on an accumulator, is this bad? :dunno:

If it's one bet a week, and you can afford to lose the £10 then it probably isn't a problem. But I think it is important to remember that people who are addicted to gambling and losing their livelihood and family or people who are addicted to drinking and become raging alcoholics - don't start off like that. It can be a long, slow, spiral.

 

If you're happy to spend the £10 as part of your weekend routine and you are in control of that then that's ok. But as Ric says, take a break for a couple of weeks and see how that makes you feel.

 

 

 

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20 hours ago, LCFC FOX said:

How do you know if you’ve got an addiction?

 

I bet £10 every Saturday on an accumulator, is this bad? :dunno:

Being a compulsive gambler isn’t determined by how much/little you spend,

its the compulsive nature in which you bet,

for example like myself thinking about my next bet,gambling my bus fare and having to walk 6 miles home,

betting your winnings in the hope you’ll beat the bookies,

and chasing your losses and making your situation worse trying to make it better,

if your gambling a tenner every Saturday and can afford it then you should enjoy your weekly flutter,doesn’t seem to me that you have a gambling issue,

its people like me what would love to be able gamble like you do

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18 hours ago, Russell sprout said:

Being a compulsive gambler isn’t determined by how much/little you spend,

its the compulsive nature in which you bet,

for example like myself thinking about my next bet,gambling my bus fare and having to walk 6 miles home,

betting your winnings in the hope you’ll beat the bookies,

and chasing your losses and making your situation worse trying to make it better,

if your gambling a tenner every Saturday and can afford it then you should enjoy your weekly flutter,doesn’t seem to me that you have a gambling issue,

its people like me what would love to be able gamble like you do

If you’re gonna gamble you certainly need to control it I guess. The disicipline must be the key.

 

Edited by Col city fan

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You don't need to have a gambling addiction to have a gambling problem.

 

The binge drinker / binge gambler may be able to go months in between episodes and not be 'addicted' as such, but they still have a major, potentially life-destroying problem.

 

The casual gambler spending £20 per week on football may not be addicted - but that soon adds up to £1000 per year. If that ends up diverting funds from life necessities then it can also be a problem.

 

You also don't necessarily have to be losing money to have a gambling problem. If it's taking up more time, effort and headspace than you're comfortable with, it's a problem.

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Unfortunately its something I really struggle with. Currently £800 up over the past couple of days but it useless results in me squandering it so even the highs aren't that enjoyable anymore

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1 hour ago, foxfanazer said:

Unfortunately its something I really struggle with. Currently £800 up over the past couple of days but it useless results in me squandering it so even the highs aren't that enjoyable anymore

Christ mate, 800 up in two days? You must be getting big surely?

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3 minutes ago, Col city fan said:

Christ mate, 800 up in two days? You must be getting big surely?

I've sort of got myself in a routine of putting £100 in my account on payday and if I lose out myself on a 30 day timeout so that's it for the month. If I win I collect some but hold a bit back to play with. Won another couple of hundred this morning and have loads of big bets running today. Just gotta stay disciplined

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Hope people don't find this cringeworthy, but know someone who works for Sky Sports News (in a technical role) and has good links with Sky Sports media in general.

 

We had a brief discussion about ours jobs and related talk including Paul Merson and revealing his gambling problems.

 

It was that topic that reminded me of this thread and told this person about it, which he thought was a great idea.

He told me to contact Sky Sports (which have done) and, if am lucky, the message below could be mentioned on Sky Sports News itself within the next week.

-

So, for those who regularly watch the programme, try and watch out for it. :)

 

Hi,

 
I'm a Leicester City fan, and have been saddened to hear of Paul Merson reveal of his current struggles with gambling addiction.
 
On a Leicester City fans forum I regularly read, Foxestalk, there's a thread dedicated to advice/support those who are open to post their gambling etc issues on the below forum thread:
 
 
Thought I'd inform the company, who has a few betting adverts, of how football fans of my club in the above example are trying to help others in need of some support on a sensitive topic which its topic awareness is growing publically (which I'm sure you're aware of).
 
Kind Regards,
******* ****
 
Hope
@Mark@davieG and any others who run this website are ok with this?
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6 hours ago, Ric Flair said:

Bang on mate, a problem gambler needs to change not only the physical act of gambling but also the emotional and mental aspects that gambling brings. Us compulsive gamblers are self centred, liars, cheats, unable to communicate, evasive, short tempered, erratic sleepers, up and down personalities, immature, materialistic and obsessed with money. When you stop gambling and try and change, you not only abstain from gambling but you become a better person and your whole life benefits. Suddenly you can communicate with people, you have the ability to be interested in your friends, family and loved ones, you no longer need a false high to pick you up, you no longer obsess over what next you need to buy or what holiday or nights out you need to go on to compete with the other morons living their false lives through social media. You stop lying about everything, however big or small, you appreciate what you have in life and are content and peaceful. You sleep better and you can also look in the mirror and not immediately look away.

 

When I was in the midst of my gambling binges I didn't give a fcuk about anything or anyone, I honestly can't be certain that if my then 2 year old son had woken up screaming in agony and I was engrossed in chasing a load of dough on roulette that i'd immediately have put the phone down and gone and comforted him. I'd have likely carried on ripping the shit out of everything I could get my hands on and either recouped my losses and snapped out of the trance I was in or ploughed through the lot and felt that horror dawn on me that i'd lost everything and was a despicable cretin. It absolutely sickens me to think I was capable of doing that, but it doesn't surprise me. I remember countless times where I missed my train home from work whilst I was blasting pound coins in to the bandit like no man's business, or late back from my lunch break because I was too busy feeding notes in to the FOBT like bits of ham to a dog. I've lied many times to get out of things so I could gamble my day away and when I was like that, in the zone nobody or anything would or could stop me. What a fcukin penis I was. That was the man I was only last May.

 

I won't stop at anything in my pursuit for abstaining from gambling, I may never be able to replace the buzz that gambling gave me like for like but I will continue to try and be a better person, to remain patient, honest, kind and hard working. I will try and make my family feel safe and loved, rather than fearful and neglected. I have long stopped caring about materialistic things, i'll take pride out of achievements and give myself the best possible chance of a happy life. Why on earth would I want anything different to that, I am the luckiest bloke in the world to have what I have and why would I ever gamble again? Gambling is hell on earth for people like me.

 

If anyone else has a problem but doesn't feel like they are strong enough yet to overcome it, please just message me. I was the same, I could see no light at the end of the tunnel. I won't preach or feed you any bull shit, it's all on you and you'll have to be in charge but it's not impossible. We as humans are ruthless beasts, we can and will do anything we put our minds to.

 

FCUK GAMBLING.

****ing hell I can't even tell you how much this post speaks to me. Thanks :appl:

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2 hours ago, Izzy said:

@Ric Flair you should be doing talks in schools/colleges and gamblers anonymous groups mate 

Thanks mate, I do go to G.A every week and can honestly say it's a phenomenal place. I have and continue to learn so much and I'll never stop going, it is a special place.

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3 hours ago, foxfanazer said:

****ing hell I can't even tell you how much this post speaks to me. Thanks :appl:

No worries mate, stay strong and if you need anyone to talk to about stuff then just message me. 

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20 hours ago, Ric Flair said:

Bang on mate, a problem gambler needs to change not only the physical act of gambling but also the emotional and mental aspects that gambling brings. Us compulsive gamblers are self centred, liars, cheats, unable to communicate, evasive, short tempered, erratic sleepers, up and down personalities, immature, materialistic and obsessed with money. When you stop gambling and try and change, you not only abstain from gambling but you become a better person and your whole life benefits. Suddenly you can communicate with people, you have the ability to be interested in your friends, family and loved ones, you no longer need a false high to pick you up, you no longer obsess over what next you need to buy or what holiday or nights out you need to go on to compete with the other morons living their false lives through social media. You stop lying about everything, however big or small, you appreciate what you have in life and are content and peaceful. You sleep better and you can also look in the mirror and not immediately look away.

 

When I was in the midst of my gambling binges I didn't give a fcuk about anything or anyone, I honestly can't be certain that if my then 2 year old son had woken up screaming in agony and I was engrossed in chasing a load of dough on roulette that i'd immediately have put the phone down and gone and comforted him. I'd have likely carried on ripping the shit out of everything I could get my hands on and either recouped my losses and snapped out of the trance I was in or ploughed through the lot and felt that horror dawn on me that i'd lost everything and was a despicable cretin. It absolutely sickens me to think I was capable of doing that, but it doesn't surprise me. I remember countless times where I missed my train home from work whilst I was blasting pound coins in to the bandit like no man's business, or late back from my lunch break because I was too busy feeding notes in to the FOBT like bits of ham to a dog. I've lied many times to get out of things so I could gamble my day away and when I was like that, in the zone nobody or anything would or could stop me. What a fcukin penis I was. That was the man I was only last May.

 

I won't stop at anything in my pursuit for abstaining from gambling, I may never be able to replace the buzz that gambling gave me like for like but I will continue to try and be a better person, to remain patient, honest, kind and hard working. I will try and make my family feel safe and loved, rather than fearful and neglected. I have long stopped caring about materialistic things, i'll take pride out of achievements and give myself the best possible chance of a happy life. Why on earth would I want anything different to that, I am the luckiest bloke in the world to have what I have and why would I ever gamble again? Gambling is hell on earth for people like me.

 

If anyone else has a problem but doesn't feel like they are strong enough yet to overcome it, please just message me. I was the same, I could see no light at the end of the tunnel. I won't preach or feed you any bull shit, it's all on you and you'll have to be in charge but it's not impossible. We as humans are ruthless beasts, we can and will do anything we put our minds to.

 

FCUK GAMBLING.

this is an amazing, honest and well written appraisal of your situation. You sound like you have a lot to give to help others mate.

 

Well done on coming so far

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On 14/03/2019 at 14:09, Wymeswold fox said:

Paul Merson reveals he's struggling with a gambling addiction again.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/47570217

 

What doesn't help him, really, is being part of a Sky Sports programme filled with betting adverts every 15 minutes etc.

On the Redknapp programme last night, Merson was incredible and tonight appears he breaks down - poor bloke. For all the things said about, he's not a nasty bloke. 

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47 minutes ago, Cardiff_Fox said:

On the Redknapp programme last night, Merson was incredible and tonight appears he breaks down - poor bloke. For all the things said about, he's not a nasty bloke. 

Yeah this is what a lot of people seem to forget.

 

He's clearly a bit of a bumbling idiot (or at least he is on Soccer Saturday where I think they all play on their perceived personalities) but he really does come across as being a genuine bloke.

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Agree with them about him.

Seems to have a soft heart in general and doesn't have a nasty side in him.

Made me laugh when he sat down when about to do fishing - his chair collapsed and after a few silent seconds he jokingly said "oh, for f***s sake!". lol

 

 

Edited by Wymeswold fox

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