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Vardyism - The new religion

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Holy Communion at the Church of Vardy:

 

Vardy: "Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken down for you for the remission of sins"

 

The Faithful: *Eats mouthful of cheese and ham omelette*

 

Vardy: "Drink of it, all of you: this is my blood of the New Testament, which is shed for you and for many, for the remission of sins".

 

The Faithful: *Sips mouthful of Red Bull*

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19 minutes ago, SecretPro said:

When Vardy returned from the Soar River, the power of Vichai was with him, and the Spirit led him into the stadium.  For forty days Vardy was tested by Puel, and during that time he went without scoring.  When it was all over, he was hungry.

Puel said to Vardy, "If you are Leicesters Son, tell this stone to turn into WKD Blue."

Vardy answered, "The Scriptures say, 'No one can live only on WKD.'"

Then Puel led Vardy up to a high place and quickly showed him all the nations on earth.  Puel said, "I will give all this power and glory to you.  It has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to.  Just worship me, and you can have it all."

Vardy answered, "The Scriptures say: 'Worship the Lord Vichai and serve only him!' "

Finally, Puel took Vardy to Manchester and had him stand on top of the Stretford End.  Puel said, "If you are Leicesters Son, jump off.  The Scriptures say: 'Vichai will tell his Budhas to take care of you.  They will catch you in their arms, and you will score with your feet on the turf.' "

Vardy answered, "The Scriptures also say, 'Don't try to test the Lord Vichai!' "

After Puel had finished testing Vardy in every way possible, he left the club and all was well.

                                                                                         Luke Thomas 4:1-13

 

lol

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Vardy called his disciples to him and said:

"I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me 90 minutes and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry, or they may collapse on the way."

His disciples answered:

"Where could we get enough good food from the Compass units place to feed such a crowd?"

"How much do you have?" Vardy asked.

"Seven cheese-and-ham omelettes with baked beans," they replied, "and two Red Bulls."

Vardy told the crowd to sit down on the ground. Then he took the seven cheese-and-ham omelettes with baked beans and two Red bulls, and when he had given thanks, he separated them and gave them to the disciples, and they in turn to the people. They all ate and were satisfied. Afterwards, the disciples picked up seven basketfuls of  cheese-and-ham omelettes with baked beans that were leftover. The number of those who ate was 30 thousand men, besides women and children. After Vardy had sent the crowd away, he got into his car and went to the vicinity of Lincolnshire.

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And lo the angel of the Lord said unto the gentlemen of Leicester, 'Thou must change your colour to Royal blue, so that your clothes be fit for the King of Kings who shalt reveal himself unto you in your future, your Messiah. From humble beginnings he will deliver glory unto you the like of which you have never before seen, and he must be dressed in regal attire'.

 

And he did deliver glory. And it was good.

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3 minutes ago, Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo said:

And hands 😅

Kasper checking himself out. 

 

Ndidi telling Kasper 'stop checking thyself out. come on brother, pay some respect unto the Lord, for he scoreth 11 goals in a row. A record hath been broken by our Lord, our saviour'.

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3 minutes ago, LCCFox96 said:

Some of the material packed into this thread is outstanding. It's definitely won Friday 27th November.

 

It's basically inspired me to take an annual pilgrimage on May 2nd, walking bare foot from Stocksbridge to the King Power with a Jagerbomb break every 9 miles. 

Don’t forget your medical splints lol 

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I'm calling it early - This is undoubtedly the best thread in the history of Foxtestalk!

 

Vardyism is the only religion worth following. I'd imagine the more evangelical members of the forum are apoplectic! 

 

Just one more quote from our Lords book

Vardyronomy 31:6

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, or the LORD Vardy your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you, not even to those north london cvnts

 

 

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If we start a petition on the .gov website to make 11th January a bank holiday, don't they have to debate it in Parliament if we get 100k signatures? lol

 

And next year is a census year...if we all put Vardyism as a religion, doesn't it become a recognised movement if there's enough the same?!!

Edited by tom27111
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2 hours ago, LCCFox96 said:

Some of the material packed into this thread is outstanding. It's definitely won Friday 27th November.

 

It's basically inspired me to take an annual pilgrimage on May 2nd, walking bare foot from Stocksbridge to the King Power with a Jagerbomb break every 9 miles. 

Its a journey every Leicester fan should do once in their lifetime

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