The joke thread

[Beliall]

50 minutes ago, TiffToff88 said:

That reminds me of one of the most irritatingly catchy songs in existence:

 

 

my kids love this , it drives me nuts  here's a couple more of their favourites 

 

 

[ajthefox]

58 minutes ago, TiffToff88 said:

That reminds me of one of the most irritatingly catchy songs in existence:

 

 

YES!! Love the duck song.

[the fox]

2 hours ago, Beliall said:

Am I missing something or is this from @the fox 's big book of jokes

 

Edited 24 April 2017 by the fox

[Webbo]

[Beliall]

8 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

A chap walks into a fish and chip shop and says "Can I get a steak and kidley pie please?"

 

Bloke behind the counter replies "I think you mean a steak and kidney pie"

 

Chap goes...."Well that's what I said diddle I?"

It got zero reaction. 

[Izzy]

13 minutes ago, Beliall said:

It got zero reaction. 

What can I say mate - it's the way you tell em!!

Anyway, hope you enjoyed your Maths lesson today 

[Beliall]

1 minute ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

What can I say mate - it's the way you tell em!!

Anyway, hope you enjoyed your Maths lesson today 

It was quite hard so miss said I could just draw

[Buce]

9 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

A chap walks into a fish and chip shop and says "Can I get a steak and kidley pie please?"

 

Bloke behind the counter replies "I think you mean a steak and kidney pie"

 

Chap goes...."Well that's what I said diddle I?"

 

9 hours ago, Beliall said:

Am I missing something or is this from @the fox 's big book of jokes

 

7 hours ago, Countryfox said:

Sorry Muzzett, cr@p joke before ....     but good one liner afterwards !    

 

[Izzy]

5 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

 

You've hurt my feelings once again Buce 

I'm thinking the two reps the joke got may just be for effort (or maybe out of sympathy )

[Buce]

5 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

You've hurt my feelings once again Buce 

 

 You're one of my favourite people, Izzy - but please don't give up the day job..

 

Quote

I'm thinking the two reps the joke got may just be for effort (or maybe out of sympathy )

 

But one of them was from the fox.... nuff said.

[Countryfox]

3 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

 You're one of my favourite people, Izzy -

 

Get a bloody room ! ....

[Buce]

4 minutes ago, Countryfox said:

 

Get a bloody room ! ....

 

                        Don't take it so hard, CF..

 

            

[Trav Le Bleu]

27 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

You've hurt my feelings once again Buce 

I'm thinking the two reps the joke got may just be for effort (or maybe out of sympathy )

It's one of my favourites, if a bit old.

[Trav Le Bleu]

18 minutes ago, Countryfox said:

 

Get a bloody room ! ....

 

[Buce]

 6 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

I was drunk..

 

[Tuna]

The price of goods in supermarkets these days.

 

I mean look at a box of tampons, a bloody tena.

[the fox]

4 hours ago, Buce said:

 

 You're one of my favourite people, Izzy - but please don't give up the day job..

 

 

But one of them was from the fox.... nuff said.

When you're just minding your business but FT finds a way to drag you to make fun of you....again!

 

 

Well, I actually like Izzy and his joke wasn't half bad.

[Beliall]

8 hours ago, the fox said:

When you're just minding your business but FT finds a way to drag you to make fun of you....again!

 

 

Well, I actually like Izzy and his joke wasn't half bad.

We all like Izzy, but the joke was shit....

[cambridgefox]

On 24 April 2017 at 10:56, Izzy Muzzett said:

A chap walks into a fish and chip shop and says "Can I get a steak and kidley pie please?"

 

Bloke behind the counter replies "I think you mean a steak and kidney pie"

 

Chap goes...."Well that's what I said diddle I?"

Soccer AM Tim Lovejoy always used to say it.

lad I used to work with surname was Kidney,and so I used to call him Kidley and await to be corrected by someone.

He began to despise me!

[Stadt]

from reddit

 

The bartender asks "Why the long face?" 

The man replies "I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I've decided I'm going to drink myself to death." 

The bartender looks shocked and says "I'm sorry I can't help you kill yourself." 

The man asks "Well what would you do in my situation?"

The bartender puffs himself up a bit and says "If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn't sit around feeling sorry for myself, I'd kill the guy."

The man jumps up from his stool and shouts "That's a great idea! Thanks!" and runs out of the bar.

A couple hours goes by and the bartender is starting to get nervous when the man walks back into the bar with a smile on his face.

"Did you kill the guy?" The bartender asks nervously.

"Nope! I slept with your wife. Whiskey please."

[Buce]

3 minutes ago, Wookie said:

from reddit

 

The bartender asks "Why the long face?" 

The man replies "I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I've decided I'm going to drink myself to death." 

The bartender looks shocked and says "I'm sorry I can't help you kill yourself." 

The man asks "Well what would you do in my situation?"

The bartender puffs himself up a bit and says "If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn't sit around feeling sorry for myself, I'd kill the guy."

The man jumps up from his stool and shouts "That's a great idea! Thanks!" and runs out of the bar.

A couple hours goes by and the bartender is starting to get nervous when the man walks back into the bar with a smile on his face.

"Did you kill the guy?" The bartender asks nervously.

"Nope! I slept with your wife. Whiskey please."

 

WEBBO!!!

 

Either The Fox or Izzy has hacked Wookie's account..

[Countryfox]

1 minute ago, Buce said:

 

WEBBO!!!

 

Either The Fox or Izzy has hacked Wookie's account..

 

We need a 'Crap Jokes Thread' ....   

[Buce]

2 minutes ago, Countryfox said:

 

We need a 'Crap Jokes Thread' ....   

 

Looks like we've already got one.

Edited 27 April 2017 by Buce

[Izzy]

2 hours ago, Buce said:

 

WEBBO!!!

 

Either The Fox or Izzy has hacked Wookie's account..

[Tuna]

I had a car accident today, I went right into the back of a Mercedes.

 

The driver got out and happened to be a dwarf.

 

'I'm not happy' he said.

 

I replied 'Which one are you?'.