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The joke thread

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When I was a child I always used to search my parent's drawers and cupboards in the run up to Christmas so I'd know exactly what to expect.

Although, I never did receive the Vibratron Pleasuremax 3000.

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On 25/12/2019 at 01:27, UpTheLeagueFox said:

WHEN IT'S BOXING DAY...

 

364 days to Christmas and some people have their decorations up already... :facepalm:

365 actually as next year is a leap year ;) 

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55 minutes ago, StanSP said:

365 actually as next year is a leap year ;) 

awesome! i only get to sleep with the mrs on the 29th of feb

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Thus, according to my maths and allowing for seasonal variations in shagging, impregnation and childbirth, approximately 1 in every 1461 people is born on 29th February.

 

Yes, I know that's not a joke. It's just interesting information, alright?

 

Image result for "Mr. Logic" Viz

 

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On 27 December 2019 at 12:29, Alf Bentley said:

Thus, according to my maths and allowing for seasonal variations in shagging, impregnation and childbirth, approximately 1 in every 1461 people is born on 29th February.

 

Yes, I know that's not a joke. It's just interesting information, alright?

 

Image result for "Mr. Logic" Viz

 

But can they write The William Tell Overture? 

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On 27/12/2019 at 20:09, Beliall said:

awesome! i only get to sleep with the mrs on the 29th of feb

coz i keep her busy the other 365 

 

Image result for mic drop

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5 hours ago, ozleicester said:

coz i keep her busy the other 365 

 

Image result for mic drop

and i appreciate it, happy wife, happy life and all that

 

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Just saw my brother get jumped by 4 guys! Ran as fast as i could to go help...it didn’t take us long to get him down.

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On 27/12/2019 at 12:09, Beliall said:

awesome! i only get to sleep with the mrs on the 29th of feb

Show off.

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On 27/12/2019 at 12:09, Beliall said:

awesome! i only get to sleep with the mrs on the 29th of feb

Must be the end of the winter period.

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My friend claims that he “accidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.

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23 minutes ago, ozleicester said:

My friend claims that he “accidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.

 

But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.

I approve of jokes like this :appl:

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