Jump to content
Daggers

The joke thread

Recommended Posts

My barber is from the Czech Republic and specialises in hiding bald spots. Bloody foreigner combing over hair.

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was just looking at my ceiling... Not sure if it's the best ceiling in the world, but it's definitely up there!

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For those that suffer with insomnia...Look on the bright side.. only 3 sleeps till christmas!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll never forget my Grandad's last words before he kicked the bucket.

He said "How far do you think I can kick this bucket?".

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just been on the news that Paul McCartney was disqualified from a marathon he was in the middle of.

 

 

He was banned on the run.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, PaddyS said:

I'll never forget my Grandad's last words before he kicked the bucket.

He said "How far do you think I can kick this bucket?".

i’ll never forget my grandads last words either..

 

” A truck!”

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, MPH said:

i’ll never forget my grandads last words either..

 

” A truck!”

I'll never forget my noisy neighbour's last words. " How do you get in here and what's the hammer for?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It turns out that Dominic Cummings is a very slow driver.

 

Apparently he drove 260 miles and it took the contagious. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A mate called and said, "I've just had a huge fight with the wife. Do you have a spare bed for a few weeks until I find a flat?"

I replied, "I've a sofa, if that's any good."

"Perfect," he said, "you're an absolute legend! I'll send her round in a bit."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...