Jump to content
Daggers

The joke thread

Recommended Posts

1 hour ago, winteriscoming said:

It’s the Wife’s birthday tomorrow. She’s been leaving jewellery catalogues all over the house, so I’ve bought her a magazine rack. 

I was passing a jewellery shop pre lockdown and noticed they had some catalogues just inside the doorway, so I grabbed one. When I got home I told Mrs. FFF that I had popped in a jewellers and got her a little something.

 

I handed over the catalogue.

 

Gentleman, I would not recommend you try that at home.

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm quite excited about my latest delivery from the wine club

 

I've got a semillon

  • Haha 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 04/04/2021 at 19:27, Free Falling Foxes said:

I was passing a jewellery shop pre lockdown and noticed they had some catalogues just inside the doorway, so I grabbed one. When I got home I told Mrs. FFF that I had popped in a jewellers and got her a little something.

 

I handed over the catalogue.

 

Gentleman, I would not recommend you try that at home.

 

 

Mrs Boots announced she wanted something with diamonds for her birthday

 

Got her a pack of cards

Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Izzy said:

I'm quite excited about my latest delivery from the wine club

 

I've got a semillon

 

So, you're halfway to a (c)hardonn eh?

  • Like 2
  • Haha 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Neighbour just called by.

 

"It's about your dog", he said, "he chases everyone he sees on a bike"

 

"You must be mistaken", I said, "he hasn't got a bike"

  • Haha 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, Izzy said:

I'm quite excited about my latest delivery from the wine club

 

I've got a semillon

You never fail lol.

 

Well I say "never":

 

Just thought I'd let you all know that I failed my ventriloquists exam yesterday.

 

Can't say I'm surprised. 

 

I can't say I understand why some souls seem to see your sense of simple sense of humour sensational

Edited by Parafox
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 09/04/2021 at 15:51, Izzy said:

I ate a Kid's Happy Meal at McDonalds, yesterday.

 

His mother was well pissed off with me.

I bought a 12 year old scotch yesterday, obviously the parents weren't best pleased.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...