The "do they mean us?" thread

[Carl the Llama]

http://www.thefightingcock.co.uk/forum/threads/leicester-away-saturday-3-pm.15244/page-1

 

vvv007, Today at 10:37 AM

Stats for optimism.

Last season Mauricio Pochettino's team had a W9 D3 L2 away record against teams outside the big six - and, interestingly, they had precisely the same record in that category the previous season (before Pochettino took charge).

So that makes only four defeats out of 28 (14%) away to teams outside the big six in the past two seasons. However much Leicester have improved, they are going to find Tottenham hard to beat.

Teams outside of the top 6.  We're top 2 muthalicker.  3-1 to the new force in English football.

[Benji]

http://www.thefightingcock.co.uk/forum/threads/leicester-away-saturday-3-pm.15244/page-1

Loving the lolcano on page 9.

[davieG]

 

Cartilage Free Captain, a Tottenham Hotspur community

•  

Your team is getting relegated: Leicester City

By GN Punk  @seancahill24 on Aug 21, 2015, 6:32p 29 

Michael Regan/Getty Images

 

This shouldn't surprise you, Leicester. You were so close, SO CLOSE, last year!

 TWEET (4) SHARE (12) PIN 

In a series shamelessly stolen from Deadspin great Drew Magary, Cartilage Free Captain will preview each opponent before we face them and explain to you exactly why they're complete crap and doomed for the drop.

Leicester City, this really is nothing personal. I swear it. Your team was destined for the drop last year and somehow went on this epic run that must have been fueled by Red Bull and Lära Bars to narrowly avoid going back down to the Championship. The good news is that you received another year of that sweet, sweet TV money. The bad news? Yeah, you guessed it: You've only prolonged the inevitable. You're not going to survive the drop this time around.

Your Club Sucks

Leicester City, we need to have a talk about your club. Do you realize how boring your club really is? I've had to do so much research on the club just to come up with jokes to make fun of you, and even then it was tough to come up with anything. Anyways, your club is in the East Midlands, which is like being stuck in the heart of Nebraska in the States: You're just kinda THERE. Nothing remarkable, maybe you drink a lot, but all you are is a footnote in travel. Nobody has ever decided to just take a vacation to Nebraska in the United States, and I'm going to assume the same is true for the East Midlands and your city. Also, your fans are awful. We know this because they don't believe Harry Kane is the lord and savior of English football. There's a lot of stupid in that forum.

Your Badge Sucks

You know what? I'm going to be somewhat nice, because your badge isn't all that bad. Blue and white f**king rocks as colors of choice, so kudos to you for choosing obviously the best color scheme of all time. However, that thing that's in the middle. Is that supposed to be a fox? I have to believe that's the case, given that your mascot is namedFilbert Fox, who is immediately inferior to Chirpy based on such a silly name. Either way, I think it's time your club updates that badge. Also, what the hell is behind the fox's head? I've looked at multiple websites and the most telling information I can pull is that it's a flower of some kind. You've got the colors in place. Work on that fox and whatever the hell's behind it and you may be on to something.

Your Owner Sucks

King Power are the official owners of Leicester City, with Thai billionaire Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha as the chairman, and yes, I had to copy and paste that name. Any one of you would have to as well. Apparently Vichai is so bored with his money that he also owns a polo club in Thailand. Apparently he has received a royal warrant from the King of Thailand that grants him some kind of honor. I can't make fun of this, though, because the badge is f**king Garuda looking menacing as hell. Maybe I shouldn't be making fun of this man. In fact, you're awesome Vichai. Please don't send an ancient god to murder me.

Your Last Season Sucked

We are still trying to figure out how a team that looked so crappy in the first half of the season managed to get to 41 points and survive relegation by six points when the campaign came to an end. It defies logic. It's not quite a Sunderland-esque survival, but that was quite the run. It still sucks, of course, because you still finished 14th in the table and let a crap club like West Ham United finish ahead of you.

Your Coach Sucks

Claudio Ranieri has managed so many clubs in his lifetime, I wonder if Wikipedia just lost count and started making clubs up. He started his coaching career at a small club named Vigor Lamezia, which sounds like an awesome Disney villain's name. He worked his way up the Italian division and had some high profile jobs that included Napoli and Fiorentina, where he managed to win a couple pieces of silverware. After that, he did some bouncing around Europe, including almost destroying Atletico Madrid to the point where he had to resign before the masses tore down the grounds. Most recently, he was the man in charge of Greece when they lost 1-0 to lowly Faroe Islands. If you lose to a team that you have to look up where they are on a map, you probably shouldn't be coaching anymore.

Your Players Suck

Congratulations! Your club was the brunt of many jokes in the offseason thanks to a sex tape that came out involving three of your now former players, but they were your players nevertheless, including the manager's son James Pearson. Your club also apparently likes players who have a bit of a potty mouth as James Vardy breached some rules by dropping racial slurs at a casino. Danny Drinkwater also has possibly the worst last name in the history of everything. If I were him, when I hit 18 years old, I would have immediately changed my name to something far more awesome than Drinkwater. You also have the corpse of Mark Schwarzer still on the roster who can never match Brad Friedel's awesomeness at 42 years old.

Your New Players Suck

Shinji Okazaki is arguably your most notable addition to the roster. While he absolutely sucks, I will say that the first club he played for has an awesome name that makes no sense. What the hell is an S-Pulse? You also managed to get Christian Fuchs on a free from Schalke. Apparently Schalke were so bored with him they didn't even bother trying to get money for him. Robert Huth also came over from Stoke which....well, I can't blame him there. I'd want to get out of Stoke, too. All very underwhelming signings, Leicester, but what can one expect from a boring club?

Why You Might Escape The Drop

The game is suddenly changed to polo and Vichai immediately transfers all of his polo club's members onto Leicester to win the league.

 

 

How to come across as a complete twat whilst I presume trying to be original and witty!

[MPH]

not too mention his shyte singing career

 

 

 

Hey. that was a quality song.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At least i thought so at the time   

[Bilo]

I've honestly had funnier migraines than that article.

[Lesta Legend]

How to come across as a complete twat whilst I presume trying to be original and witty!

This guy sounds completely insane

[ARTY_FOX]

If it was in anyway shape or form funny then I'd say fair play and have a good laugh. But that isn't even close to funny

[The Horse's Mouth]

 

 

 

How to come across as a complete twat whilst I presume trying to be original and witty!

 

It's so ****ing obvious that isn't serious.

[Collymore]

 

Your Club Sucks

Leicester City, we need to have a talk about your club. Do you realize how boring your club really is? I've had to do so much research on the club just to come up with jokes to make fun of you, and even then it was tough to come up with anything. Anyways, your club is in the East Midlands, which is like being stuck in the heart of Nebraska in the States: You're just kinda THERE. Nothing remarkable, maybe you drink a lot, but all you are is a footnote in travel. Nobody has ever decided to just take a vacation to Nebraska in the United States, and I'm going to assume the same is true for the East Midlands and your city. Also, your fans are awful. We know this because they don't believe Harry Kane is the lord and savior of English football. There's a lot of stupid in that forum.

 

Your Badge Sucks

 

Oh the irony....

[Jimmy]

 

 

 

How to come across as a complete twat whilst I presume trying to be original and witty!

 

its a parody piece apparently, problem is he forgot the humour

[Raw Dykes]

 

 

 

How to come across as a complete twat whilst I presume trying to be original and witty!

 

 

 

Why do I suddenly have a thirst for a pint of bitter and a hunger for some sour grapes?

 

Weirdly, the bit I took most exception to was the bit about the badge. I love our badge! I genuinely believe it would be one of my favourite football club emblems in the world even if I wasn't a fan of the club. It's a really, really nice design. I like the fact that it looks good both close up and from a distance, and it kind of looks like a 5-spoke rim, as well. It's killer.

 

I'll have to assume that whoever wrote that hasn't seen Okazaki play, because he looks awesome so far.

 

I still think that we didn't get anywhere the points we deserved during our bad run last season. I think anyone who actually watched us play would have agreed. We played well and made silly mistakes or ended up on the end of bad decisions time and time again. We were only outclassed 2 or 3 times all season.

 

Edit: Looks like I might have been duped by a poor attempt at comedy.

Edited 21 August 2015 by Raw Dykes

[yorkie1999]

At least hes got a lot of interesting things to say about city. The only interestimg thing I can think of about spurs is they have stewards at the ground with green team written on the back of green coats.

[biggs]

Not clever and lacks the wit I suppose he intended. Suppose he spent an entire day putting that together. At least i only wasted a minute reading it !!!

[The Doctor]

It's obviously not serious, it's meant to be a joke but the problem is that it isn't funny. A joke that isn't funny is the unit of raw despair, a series that consistently falls flat is pure torture.

[yorkie1999]

I think it's great that fans of a club like spurs are trying to take the piss out of us. Shows how far we've come in the last few years . We've been promoted in the piss taking leagues from the likes of Bristol city and Derby, then Sunderland and now spurs. What next? Man Utd then on to the lofty heights of barcalona.

[lnkstern]

This is quite obviously a troll job, but it has some pointy barbs that occasionally sting.

 

http://cartilagefreecaptain.sbnation.com/2015/8/21/9187357/tottenham-hotspur-your-team-is-getting-relegated-leicester-city

 

quoted from the article:

 

Leicester City, this really is nothing personal. I swear it. Your team was destined for the drop last year and somehow went on this epic run that must have been fueled by Red Bull and Lära Bars to narrowly avoid going back down to the Championship. The good news is that you received another year of that sweet, sweet TV money. The bad news? Yeah, you guessed it: You've only prolonged the inevitable. You're not going to survive the drop this time around.

Your Club Sucks

Leicester City, we need to have a talk about your club. Do you realize how boring your club really is? I've had to do so much research on the club just to come up with jokes to make fun of you, and even then it was tough to come up with anything. Anyways, your club is in the East Midlands, which is like being stuck in the heart of Nebraska in the States: You're just kinda THERE. Nothing remarkable, maybe you drink a lot, but all you are is a footnote in travel. Nobody has ever decided to just take a vacation to Nebraska in the United States, and I'm going to assume the same is true for the East Midlands and your city. Also, your fans are awful. We know this because they don't believe Harry Kane is the lord and savior of English football. There's a lot of stupid in that forum.

Your Badge Sucks

You know what? I'm going to be somewhat nice, because your badge isn't all that bad. Blue and white f**king rocks as colors of choice, so kudos to you for choosing obviously the best color scheme of all time. However, that thing that's in the middle. Is that supposed to be a fox? I have to believe that's the case, given that your mascot is named Filbert Fox, who is immediately inferior to Chirpy based on such a silly name. Either way, I think it's time your club updates that badge. Also, what the hell is behind the fox's head? I've looked at multiple websites and the most telling information I can pull is that it's a flower of some kind. You've got the colors in place. Work on that fox and whatever the hell's behind it and you may be on to something.

Your Owner Sucks

King Power are the official owners of Leicester City, with Thai billionaire Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha as the chairman, and yes, I had to copy and paste that name. Any one of you would have to as well. Apparently Vichai is so bored with his money that he also owns a polo club in Thailand. Apparently he has received a royal warrant from the King of Thailand that grants him some kind of honor. I can't make fun of this, though, because the badge is f**king Garuda looking menacing as hell. Maybe I shouldn't be making fun of this man. In fact, you're awesome Vichai. Please don't send an ancient god to murder me.

Your Last Season Sucked

We are still trying to figure out how a team that looked so crappy in the first half of the season managed to get to 41 points and survive relegation by six points when the campaign came to an end. It defies logic. It's not quite a Sunderland-esque survival, but that was quite the run. It still sucks, of course, because you still finished 14th in the table and let a crap club like West Ham United finish ahead of you.

Your Coach Sucks

Claudio Ranieri has managed so many clubs in his lifetime, I wonder if Wikipedia just lost count and started making clubs up. He started his coaching career at a small club named Vigor Lamezia, which sounds like an awesome Disney villain's name. He worked his way up the Italian division and had some high profile jobs that included Napoli and Fiorentina, where he managed to win a couple pieces of silverware. After that, he did some bouncing around Europe, including almost destroying Atletico Madrid to the point where he had to resign before the masses tore down the grounds. Most recently, he was the man in charge of Greece when they lost 1-0 to lowly Faroe Islands. If you lose to a team that you have to look up where they are on a map, you probably shouldn't be coaching anymore.

Your Players Suck

Congratulations! Your club was the brunt of many jokes in the offseason thanks to a sex tape that came out involving three of your now former players, but they were your players nevertheless, including the manager's son James Pearson. Your club also apparently likes players who have a bit of a potty mouth as James Vardy breached some rules by dropping racial slurs at a casino. Danny Drinkwater also has possibly the worst last name in the history of everything. If I were him, when I hit 18 years old, I would have immediately changed my name to something far more awesome than Drinkwater. You also have the corpse of Mark Schwarzer still on the roster who can never match Brad Friedel's awesomeness at 42 years old.

Your New Players Suck

Shinji Okazaki is arguably your most notable addition to the roster. While he absolutely sucks, I will say that the first club he played for has an awesome name that makes no sense. What the hell is an S-Pulse? You also managed to get Christian Fuchs on a free from Schalke. Apparently Schalke were so bored with him they didn't even bother trying to get money for him. Robert Huth also came over from Stoke which....well, I can't blame him there. I'd want to get out of Stoke, too. All very underwhelming signings, Leicester, but what can one expect from a boring club?

Why You Might Escape The Drop

The game is suddenly changed to polo and Vichai immediately transfers all of his polo club's members onto Leicester to win the league.

 

:end quote

[Steven]

[Rocket-Ron]

**** can't even spell colour

[THEBIGJOHNSTEADER;]

I'll fvck him in the ass

[Mike the Metal Ed]

Who can argue with such a well-crafted piece of journalism? I mean, looking at the italics text, it's obviously not meant to be taken seriously, but it just comes off as ignorant. The only part with any real truth or resonance to it is the relative non-notability of the East Midlands as a region.

Edited 21 August 2015 by Mike the Metal Ed

[4everfox]

That is the biggest pile of nonsense I've ever read. Funny.

[Collibosher70]

he likes the word 'suck'...he must have a favourite uncle

[Master Fox]

Edited 21 August 2015 by Master Fox

[benpicko]

I don't care that it's about us, it's just not even slightly funny. There's nothing intelligent about that article or that style of humour whatsoever. He's decided to write a shit series about clubs he knows nothing about, revealing nothing at all about them in the process and having arguments with himself in the paragraphs where what he's read 5 minutes ago on Wikipedia doesn't actually fit what the headings say. Not even slightly subtle or informed. Comments basically sum up who this is for.

[benpicko]

Also 'middle of nowhere' in England really makes no sense. Even if you hate Leicester you can get to London in like an hour and there are plenty of things to see or do around the area. I lived in the middle of nowhere in Vancouver Island and it took about an hour to bike to my closest friend's house.