Rap Battle Final

[The Doctor]

The manuscript:

Isaidno:

Smutsy is a Gyppo,he's got long girly hair.

He got voted off in week 1, this contest isn't fair

Sluts:

We all expect the hair jokes cos its so long and lustrous

But i'll have jokes about your mum and how I got a nut bust

Isaidno:

Karl's rapping is quite terrible, really is a joke.

Smutsy is a crackhead, he's off his tits on coke

Sluts:

It's a car based rap battle final that has Nissan against Toyota

Jessica Fletchers getting sick of all the murder getting wrote to her

Isaidno:

Smutsy's anorexic, his legs are like matchsticks.

Did anyone mention this contest's a fix?

Sluts:

Your raps are stuck in the 80s cos they're a flock of seagulls

My rhymes are down with the kids as if they're Gary Glitters balls.

Isaidno:

He's got girly hair, he's a bit of a poser.

Smacked off his face like Frankie Cocozza

Sluts:

Sweatin to the oldies like your Richard Simmons tank top

Limahl's biggest fan you think that Kajagoogoo still rock

Isaidno:

Smutsy's an arsonist, he likes to start fires.

I've got more lyrics than chakademus and pliers

Sluts:

isaidno's so wrapped up in the 80s he's whack

Rick Astley called he says he wants his decade back

Isaidno:

This guy stinks, he really smells fowl.

Smuts is in love with Christopher Powell

Sluts:

Big fan of the Foxes Trust Matt's got love for the blues

But real trust is getting a blow job from Armin Meiwes

Isaidno:

He's got no mates, he's a total loner.

Ricky Sappleton gives smuts a boner

Sluts:

Slipped a digit, past the knuckle and I fit in my whole fist

While Im with you mum, your dads balls deep in Jesper Blomqvist

Isaidno:

His Celebrations are pathetic, the robot Ravanelli.

His hair is really greasy, smuts is really smelly

Sluts:

My dicks an Xzibit like it'll pimp your ride

Flip your mum around and make a mess in her behind

Isaidno:

He thinks about Chris Powell when he's banging his nan.

Smuts is a fan of Duran Duran

Sluts:

I **** the police with a little bit of gold and a pager

I AM the rap battle, isaidno's inside playing Batracer

Isaidno:

He loves himself, an attention seeking git.

His lyrics are crap, his rapping is shit

Sluts:

This lines gross, but apologies to both your grandmothers

They've been all over my junk like my balls were Jonas Brothers

Isaidno:

Karl's pug ugly , he's got a minging face.

He likes's Swedish pop music, abba and ace of base

Sluts:

The all powerful Oz, rap battle creator, everybody call me Tyler

To ensure theres not another you I never come while im inside her

Isaidno:

He went to see the vengaboys and knocked one of back stage.

He reckons he supports Leicester, he suppports stevenage

Sluts:

Little willy cos your tiny in midfield like Barry Bannan

Got your mother gagging on the nut butter from my lamb cannon

Isaidno:

With hair like Modric, He looks a right ****

Sluts:

Its winter outside its so cold that my ballsack has shrunken

Your just a stepping stone like that hit from PJ and Duncan

Isaidno:

I'm running out of lyrics, this is gettin quite hard.

Let's throw some insults, smuts is a retard

Sluts:

Theres a rumour going round that you are down with the fellas

While Duncan helps you out of your PJ's im just jealous

Isaidno:

Your rapping is criminal, your comitting a crime.

Should you be up this late, it's past your bedtime

Sluts:

Ian Hollowhead chased the blues away like Gargamel and Papa Smurf

Marc Almond drank a pint from your dick cos he loves the girth

Tell Andy Gray and Richard Keys that Sian Massey I smashed it

I'm the rap games ladies man, I eat more pussy than Alf did

[General Smuts]

Is there definately no way to change this into a public poll?

Voting closes at midnight Sunday.

[AoWW]

Voting closes at midnight Sunday when I finally manage to set up enough new accounts to rig the voting.

[StanSP]

Is there ever a line or two where Smuts doesn't allude or make comparison to someone random...

In this we had:

Jesper Blomqvist

Xzibit

Jessica Fletcher

Gary Glitter

Kajagoogoo

Richard Simmons

Limahl

Rick Astley

Jonas Brothers

Barry Bannan

PJ and Duncan

Armin Meiwes

Gargamel

Papa Smuts

Marc Almond

Andy Gray, Richard Keys, Sian Massey

Alf (?)

[General Smuts]

The whole new accounts thing was my reason for making it public voting.

Someone opening a new account called isaidyes should raise suspicion.

And stan my references bring all the boys to the yard like Kelis, I roll them off the tongue like a register, Bueller comma Ferris.

[isaidno]

Didn't expect to be winning by that much

[StanSP]

The whole new accounts thing was my reason for making it public voting.

Someone opening a new account called isaidyes should raise suspicion.

And stan my references bring all the boys to the yard like Kelis, I roll them off the tongue like a register, Bueller comma Ferris.

Keep the coming

[General Smuts]

Keep the coming

Ill keep em coming like i'm Jeremy, Ron cos im the rap godfather Corleone, Don.

[General Smuts]

Can't believe that last line isn't worth more votes.

[General Smuts]

Congratulations Matt. I'm still beating you at Fantasy Football though!

[isaidno]

[General Smuts]

Did I do one of these at all last year? And does anyone fancy one this year?

[General Smuts]

I know what youre thinking 'do we really need another'?

Insert comment here that's disrespectful to your mother

Have we not already said all thats pertinent to this matter?

Comment about my dick size that fails to flatter

Summat about Finners and how he's Mr Muscle from Wales

Pointless argument with Daggers and all that entails

Cheap shot at Nussul cos he's such an easy target

Pun about Levi Porter working on Thracian's market

Bilo's scooby dooby rape van, Roo Fox's dutch rudder

Am I running out of puns yet? Well here comes another ...

*ahem*

...

Nope that's it the introductions curtain call

If I'm honest I suspect this'll gather no interest at all.

[foxfanazer]

Oh look, it's general smuts

I've got a comeback for whatever he puts

I won't talk about the size of your dick, that's too easy

Easy like your mother, she never tries to tease me

So what you gonna say about that Mr Smut,

Your look like you've been on the end of a Pearson headbutt

[The Doctor]

In like rin-tin-tin

[MooseBreath]

I bought a loaf of hovis bread

Instead of battling here, I'll eat that instead

Nom nom nom with strawberry jam

Nom nom nom with Parma ham

Why? Because I can.

Why you say? Because I can.

SNows Is NO Good for The LAMB

Take them to slaughter

Feed them to your daughter

She loves that lamb

More than Parma ham

More than rasberry jam

On her hovis bread

On her hovis bread

I'm her hovis bread

She likes me bread.

[Stadt]

Foxestalks rhymes put me in a lull

They are the rapping equivalent to Hull

[Carl the Llama]

You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

[BoneDog]

Tits

Tits

I LOVE TITS

[The Doctor]

[isaidno]

All these rhymes can be thrown in the bin

If there's a rap battle , you know I'll win

[Guest ttfn]

Anything he says flys

With the guys

They idolise him

He's the doctor

The man who knows science and no-one else can

Wrong or right

No matter it might

Not matter to him

He's got an argument to win

So bring up your theories

Your evolution queries

Ain't no sittin' on the fence

He posts with confidence

On every matter

He likes his mars bars in batter

So be advised

If you post on science

You gonna get patronised

By the man with no phd

Just a passing interest in chemistry

You know what? He gotcha

Who dat? They call him the doctor.

If nothing else it will make a beautiful poem.

[The Doctor]

- impressive.

[Guest]

Tits

Tits

I LOVE TITS

Shamelessly going for the popular vote is Empty.

[kingfox]

Thought the title said rep battle for a minute.

Damn!!!