Sat Night

[rotherhamfox]

After returning from the city game happy and glad to have met a couple more of you, i needed some booze and girls with low self esteem, both bountiful in south yorkshire(going zone soon joe), but i got a call off one of me best mates Nick, a party for his 18th, so being his chum i went along. Low key affair, few mates and his family, Nick who was completely pissed all the time, kept telling ruddy awful jokes, this one in particular, it got even funnier after the 6th time, 'Wot do you get when you turn a peroxide blonde upside down?', i longed for the answer, 'A brunette with bad breath'. Bit of blue that aged perfectly throughout the night. He then proceeded to go upstairs and go and get his newly purchased Viz dictionary, pages of un ashameable hilarious filth, i will name a few but leave most of it to the imagination.........curtains to the beef, bangers and mash, and a gypsie's eyelash.

I spent most of the night speaking to some fella who just turned up who had the exact same shirt as the steward at the rother game, i chuckled to my self as i shook his hand and thought 2 pound, Primark. He was an intresting looking fella, ginger comb over(similar to ricey, so i hear), and a tash where one side was longer than the other, which could be explained by his left lazy eye, and i swear he'd come in and tread shit all over the upstairs landing, it ruddy stunk after he'd been up there. He had a certain look though which struck me over all his other features, a look of a kung fu master and by the end of the night he became affectionatley known as Chuck Norris, after he'd had a fair few punches he tried to demonstrate to me that he had the same moves as Chuck but ended up with a bruised ankle and badly hurt pride. But how can you fink you look good in one of them shirts eh, how, some shite celtic dragon design on your arms, fake silk that looks like its been woven by a blind lepper, buttons not in a row, how can you look in a mirror, feel proud and leave your house, i just dont know, but he was a nice enuff fella so i began to forget about his shirt, although i was expecting a pair of numb chucks to pop out of chucks trousers at any time(I may have been drunk but im not saying i wanted his martial art tackle in my face, thanks).

The night drew to a close with his mam falling down and the stairs and her tit popping out, her expression of like nothing happended brought a smile to my face as did her revealed nipple. But it was a good night so much so i forgot the fact i hate carling as i had 5 cans of it, took the taste of the piss punch away. Left at about 2ish, pretty pissed, so much so had to do the old trick of closing one eye when wazzing to get accuracy. But it was all worth it, worth splashing the seat for(didnt close me eye quick enough). Good night all round.

[Guest freund]

Sounds good, especially Chuck Norris.

[Ash]

When you saw that guy , was you thinking in your head "Shit shirt top bloke " ::

[kerryh]

Keep them coming Rovrum, they send me off to work with a smile!

[Guest]

You see, those shirts are really popular......