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Lemon Harpic

Revealed

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Earlier this month, there was a general meeting of the board of LCFC, and Craig Levein, facing pressure after poor results, was asked to justify his position to Tim Davies.

Levein's response was secretly recorded by an unnamed source at the club, and for the first time the transcript has been made available to the public...

LEVEIN: I'm a dick! I'm a reckless, arrogant, stupid dick. And you Tim Davies are a pussy. And the fans are assholes. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get ****ed by dicks. But dicks also **** assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can **** an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they **** too much or **** when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let me **** those assholes, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

(With apologies to Team America: World Police)

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