Leicester Rule! Posted 14 January 2010 Posted 14 January 2010 Dear God,We thank you for the immense brilliance of the greatest sport on the planet, football. It unites all real men in a passion that can be experienced in no other way. The highs, the lows, the glory days and the bad days. Without it, men would not be men, and women would rule the world. Fact. It's hard to imagine what life would be without the beautiful game, and it got me thinking. This is hard to believe, but here's what would happen. (THE FOLLOWING MAY CAUSE SERIOUS EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. THIS IS JUST A RECONSTRUCTION AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU ARE CURRENTLY IN ANY STATE OF EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN) It's 12 o'clock on a typical Saturday afternoon and normally you would be in McDonalds ordering a large Big Mac Meal with an extra Double Cheesburger discussing with your mates that a 4-0 win is inevitable this afternoon. Instead, as football does not exist, you are tucking into a freshly made mixed salad with extra coleslaw, worrying if you are going to exceed your daily calorie allowance. It gets worse. At 3pm, instead of living the most anticipated time since 5.00pm last Saturday, you've gone shopping with your lady friends looking for shoes for next Friday's eagerly anticipated fancy dress party. Usually at 5.30pm you are sipping a pint of the finest lager available at the pub talking about how you could of done soooo much better than that useless lump of turd. But instead, you are sitting at home with a large glass of chardonnay in one hand and an OK magazine in the other, watching repeats of Jeremy Kyle on ITV2 screaming at the ugly council estate slut and wondering how three different guys are all unsure over who's the father! It's football that continues to get us out of these predicaments. "Sorry love, not now. Accrington Stanley Vs Torquay United is live on Sky.... in HD!!!" We thank you God for football. The beautiful game has brought each individual man decades of memorable moments, both good and bad. Everyone has their favourite whether its Reading beating Liverpool at Anfield in an FA Cup 3rd Round replay in 2010, the 'Hand of Frog' in the World Cup Play-offs in 2009, Barnsley reaching the FA Cup Semi-final in 2008, Chris Iwelumo's miss against Norway in 2008, England's greatest win over Germany since the war when they destroyed them 5-1 in their own backyard in 2001, Ryan Giggs' mesmorising goal in the FA Cup semi-final against Arsenal in '99, realising how hairy Ryan Giggs was afterwards in the FA Cup semi-final in '99, Michael Owen against the Argies in France '98, David Beckham against the Argies in France '98, Leicester City's glory days from '96 to 2000, Kevin Keegan's world famous rant about Fergie in '96, Gazza's goal against the Scots in Euro '96, Gazza's celebration in Euro '96, Psycho's penalty celebration in Euro '96, Southgate's miss in Euro '96, Eric Cantona's moment of madness in '95, Gazza's tears in Italia '90, the 'Hand of God' in Mexico '86, England's only triumph in '66, Claridge's shins, Soccer am dance-offs, mass brawls in the streets of Coventry, police horses chasing fans down the street after a "thrilling" 0-0 draw with Derby, taking your boots to the game in the slight hope of being called upon to play for your beloved team and score a last minute winner, scoring a 40 yarder in the World Cup Final for England in last night's dream, sitting in a pub full of plastic Man Utd fans delighted with a point against Birmingham, winning £60 off the FA Cup 3rd Round results and many, many, more. We thank you God for football. It's not just the memories though. Football has produced some incredible people over the past. Inspirational legends and, well, some not so inspirational legends. Pele, George Best, Geoff Hurst, Bobby Charlton, Bobby Moore, David Beckham, Gary Lineker, Ian Wright, Thierry Henry, Paul Gascoigne, Steven Gerrard, Muzzy Izzet, Steve Walsh, Jeff Stelling, Chris Kamara, Paul Merson, the Sky Sports News girls, (ohhhhh so fit, especially Millie Clode and Georgie Thompson), Hugh McIlvanney and of course, Emile Heskey. Where would our inspiration lie without these people? We thank you God for football. Football is our life. It's what defines us. We can only ask that the beautiful game will continue to produce such beautiful moments, and such inspirational people. Without it, men would not be men, we would be girls... or even worse... Gays!! We thank you God for the beautiful game. Amen Written by Steve.
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