Palace fan here. Haven't read the whole thread, but you may be pleasantly surprised by Ayew. Whilst the above is true (although it'll likely be about 2 goals a season), that isn't really where his strengths lie. What he is excellent at is bringing the ball from deep defensive areas and getting you up the pitch. Plus he ALWAYS win the foul. Probably the best at doing this I've seen and has been fairly important to the way we have played. Presumably you will be under the cosh in quite a few matches this season, so I can totally see the reasoning behind this. Personally, I think we're going to miss what he brings.
He never smiles, even on the odd occasion when he scores. It's endearing.
Plus he is capable (very occasionally) of doing this (1 min 20 in)