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Deathside

How to & how not to impress German girls

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Prelude / Scene Settings

Find yourself a bar with a beer garden with big screen showing opening game Germany - Costa Rica - Kick off is at midnight Singapore time outdoor temp something around 32 degrees - well hot

Kick back and enjoy the game whilst drinking Absolut Vodka & red Bull plus Tequila shots and rounded off with a couple of pints of Tiger

Leave pub at 2:00AM for the 15 walk back to hotel

Having turned into alter-ego DrunkPunk take a wrong turn and get completely lost

Spot a group of about 8 or 9 German girls - Clearly identified as they are all wearing T-Shirts with Deutchland written on the back

Lesson 1: Run up to the group of girls shouting "ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!"

Result: The girls are not impressed - In fact they are rather scared

Lesson 2: In best drunken english slur say "You're German Deutchlaaaaaaand"

Result: Girl replies "Well spotted" - Not impressed at all

Lesson 3: Fumble in pocket and as if by magic produce FC St Pauli hat and show it off to the girls

Result: Bullseye - Now they're impressed - I got them eating out of the palm of my hand - Time to move in for the kill

Lesson 4: Announce "I wanted Costa Rica to win"

Result: The nicest reply I got was "Well fúck off then ÃÂrsehole"

You win some you lose some - It took me an hour to find my hotel - got to my room just as Game 2 started :)

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