Diets

[Rincewind]

seen this on another message board.

Diets

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and

spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man

and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and

Magnums.

And Satan said, "You want hot fudge with that?

And Man said, "Yes!"

And Woman said, "I'll have one too with chocolate chips".

And lo, they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure

that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the

cane and combined them.

And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad".

And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the

side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in

which to cook them".

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped

lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own

platter.

And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming

with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre

into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious

quantities of salt.

And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose

those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable T.V. with remote control so Man

would not have to toil changing the channels.

And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and

started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and

still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger.

Then Satan said, "You want fries with that?" and Man replied, "Yes,

And super size 'em".

And Satan said, "It is good." And Man and Woman went into cardiac

arrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery. And then

Satan chuckled, and created the National Health Service.

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the

final word on nutrition and health:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than

us.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks

than us.

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer

heart attacks than us.

5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer

fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is

apparently what kills you.