Father Zingari's Confessional Box

[Zingari]

Dear Father Zingari,

Having spent 3 years at a boarding school run by priests I am a little nervous at the thought of getting in your confessional box. I had previously thought that it was for the confessor to expose his sins to The Lord but my priest said that it was entirely normal for the clergy to do the exposing.

Before I decide whether to bare my soul to you I need answers to 2 questions;

a) have you been police checked recently or at all?

b) do you insist that sinners repent on their knees?

God bless,

Skinny D

Rest assured my child that you can confess all to me in the knowledge that i won't be exposing anything .

I have been checked by the police recently because nasty rumours were afoot as to why i hastily left my former parish, so Id like to set the record straight that there was nothing untoward about my behaviour

The bishop thought it appropriate that I should not conduct masses at my former church due to the very high pulpit which was giving me vertigo and causing me to speak slurred and sway uncontrollably during sermons . He was concerned that my flock were under the impression that i had partaken too much libation. There was nothing more sinister to it than this

I hope you are reassured .

Sinners need not repent on their knees , but they certainly will get a reduction in hail marys and / or our fathers if they do .

Just call it knee bargaining if you like

Confess away and cleanse your soul, Father Zingari is listening