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A reply to the Nativity poem.

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Posted

Twas the night Before

'Twas the night before Christless,

When all through the house, (even the shed)

Not a creature was stirring,

Cos they were all dead!

Bodies were hung

By the chimney with care,

In hopes that Saint Nicholas

Would soon get a scare.

The children were nestled

in their blood-filled beds,

And satanic tattoos

had been chiselled on their heads.

Mummy in her skimpies,

and I with my port,

Had just had our brains removed -

Through our nostrils in short!

When out on the lawn

there arose such a clatter,

I materialised by the window

to see what was the matter.

The moon on the breast

of a neighbour below,

Added significance

to the blood in the snow.

When what to my sceptic

eyes should appear,

but a Predator-type alien

eating reindeer.

And battling with it

looking quite sick,

Our hero in a red coat

must be Saint Nick.

More rabid than a mad dog

Preds' sidekick came,

So ugly , so gruesome

I could give it no name.

To the top of the porch!

To the top of the wall!

Pred lunged , Pred swiped

but St.Nick didn't fall.

As dry leaves that before

the wild hurricane fly,

Father C. feinted and dodged

He didn't die!

As Pred drew in its head,

and was turning around,

Santa undid his belt

and the alien he bound.

The predator struggled,

from its head to its feet,

Its weapons just sputtered

it knew it was beat.

Santa stood still,

the earth stopped to pause,

His fingers became razors

That’s why he's called Santa Claws!

His hands how they twinkled!

the chime was so merry,

Pred's cheeks were soon opened

its eye plucked like a cherry.

The aliens' mouth

was drawn up like a bow,

Its jaw and its chin

soon resembled the snow.

The stump of its legs

were thrust 'tween its teeth,

Santa chopped at the tree

and made Pred a big wreath.

Nick cut up its comrade

A slash through its belly,

He turned and he smiled

then he ate it like jelly.

Returned to the Predator

by a twist of its head,

soon gave me to know

That big Pred was dead.

And laying his finger

aside of his nose,

His sack was soon filled,

up the chimney he rose.

His reindeer reformed,

the blood and gore him did follow,

The moon turned red,

He looked fatigued, a bit hollow.

But I heard him exclaim,

Yeah, it gave me a fright,

"Happy Christmas to All.

And to all a Blood night."

Merry christmas boys and girls :xmaswink:

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