Jimmy2Drags

I used to get it loads when I was younger . Woke up one morning convinced I'd had a stroke cos I couldn't move & my talking was all over the shop (sounded like Zippy with the zip done up). I went back sleep & woke up fine a little later, then convinced myself it was a dream so as not to worry about it. My mum said they were sleep demons trying to get out....I think that's a load of bob. Oh....and my day has been fine...thank you.

Steak & Blowjob Saturdays (as a compromise to sitting through the X Factor)

Too controversial so had to remove it..... Apparantly songs about Derby fans touching their kids are in 'bad taste' She nearly revolked all of my 'oral privileges' too. :

Yeah, everyone looks like Nancy Lam.

Gloves used for touching children of course.

Didn't get a chance to as I was in Matalan with arms full of stuff. If I ever see the student b*stard again though...................(wheres the emoticon for brutal knife crime?)

I look like James Blunt. I've even been stopped & asked if I was James Blunt. How weak is that. Proper non discript & a twat to boot.

Novatech.

You might need to change the battery on your motherboard. Looks like a big watch battery. Lots of forums will tell you to copy down your bios before you change it, but if you do it while the PC is turned on, you don't need to copy your bios cos the battery is only in use when you PC is turned off. I got mine from Wilko's for about £2. This link (http://en.kioskea.net/faq/sujet-625-replacing-the-battery-of-your-motherboard-cmos-battery#symptoms) may be of some use.

Vista if a great OS for PC's that come with it pre-installed. Trouble was my old PC was about 6yrs old & had been upgraded to fook, but still had the old Pentium 2 processor. The new one however works fine & Vista runs smooth as baby's arse.

I kicked the shite out of it....... did a reinstall of XP & the fookin thing got stuck in a loop of restarting again & again & again....so i smashed it up & bought a new one. The new one still wouldn't recognise the Maxtor external hard drive, so that got smashed up too. (Hard drive not new pc) Lesson 1 - Don't buy MAXTOR equipment...its shite Lesson 2 - Don't install Vista on a PC thats made for XP

got crazy problems with Vista (suprise, suprise). It keep restarting, getting to the loading screen & then nothing....it just restarts again. when it does fancy restarting, it will not recognise my external hard drives & sometimes my DVD drive is 'invisable' too. Now normally I'd just do a reinstall, but I'm worried that if i do, when it has to restart it'll do the same thing again. I've tried loading it with nothing attached (printer, ext hard drives etc) but to no avail. Any suggestions....before i kick seven shades of shite out of it....would be welcome.