The Perfect Crime

[Rincewind]

Gilbert Fox put his arm around the waist of the beautiful woman sat next to him on the lounge settee.

'Darling, I can assure you it'll be OK. Everything's gone according to plan. I just have to play the worried husband for a while and................'

Gilbert stopped as his eyes turned towards the garden. A man in a white raincoat was bending over a flower-bed. Gilbert walked into the conservatory and opened the doors. 'Excuse me what are you doing?'

The man in the raincoat turned round flicking cigar ash onto the soil as he did. 'Sorry sir for the intrusion, my name is Colombo, Lieutenant Colombo and I was just wondering....'

'Excuse me is that the famous Colombo, the one who always gets his man'

'Well sir, my wife dreams of me being somebody else sometimes, but that's usually only when we make love'

'Oh bugger', Gilbert Fox said, 'OK Lieutenant, If you're on the case I'll admit everything. I killed my wife, buried her in the garden and then my girlfriend here dressed like her and flew to Bolivia with her passport. I was going to report my wife missing tomorrow and eventually the authorities would believe she'd been kidnapped and killed with her body being dumped on a mountainside somewhere. I'll come quietly Lieutenant.'

Colombo draw on his cigar and blew a circle of smoke. 'Well actually sir I was just passing and noticed your roses. My wife loves roses and these are such an unusual variety so I was going to ask you if I could have a cutting.'

THE END

[Blue Arrow]

Thats quite good

[cisono]

Good one

[Rincewind]

Thanks. The ideas been bubbling a while now in my head. I quite like Columbo actually. You never see him lose his temper and shoot the suspect and I like the way he plays with the suspect before revealing that he knew it was them from the start but just needed proof. I just thought that if you were going to commit a murder you would not do it on Columbo's or any of the other TV detectives patch. Murder She Wrote is another example. Whenever she visits an old friend they are either bumped off or are involved in some rime.

What would we do without daytime telly?

[Craig]

excellent.