Ultra Posted 18 August 2006 Posted 18 August 2006 David Hasselhoff was spotted in London one day. A passer-by yelled "You - you're nothing without your talking car!" David Baddiel was telling a story about a comedian floundering on stage, when a member of the audience shouted, "Nobody likes you. Surely you remember that from school?" Some saddo went to the loo TWICE in quick succession at the cinema, walking across the screen. The first time provoked sighs and tuts. The second time, he tripped and fell, prompting a shout of "Run, Forrest, run!" At a London comedy club, a frustrated compere asked an audience member what he did for a living. He replied, "I'm a talent scout for sh!t comedians". Frank Skinner, onstage in Edinburgh, was annoyed by a mobile phone going off during his routine. He asked the owner who the caller was. "A comedian" came the reply. And, the best one. Bono was onstage during a U2 gig in Glasgow. He told the assembled masses, "Every time...I clap my hands...a child in Africa.....starves to death". A Glaswegian voice replied, "Well stop f**kin doing it then!"
Knighton Matt Posted 18 August 2006 Posted 18 August 2006 My fave still has to be The Office Christmas specials when Brent is doing the blind date game in the night club. Punter (to Brent): willy puller! Brent: You're the willy puller mate...what have you ever done on TV?
SystonFox Posted 18 August 2006 Posted 18 August 2006 i like this one from frank skinners autobiography "dont you just hate those people who are bent over double staring at the ground all day" he said on stage. "its called alexi-sprondosis (or some funny name)" called a small voice, so he replied "how the fock do you know?" and as soon as he finished a reply came back "ive got it" said the small voice. now he could do 2 things, ignore it and move on, or respond kindly. he did neither and decided to rib him about it. "oh well just look on the bright side mate, atleast you'll never stand in dogshit again". taking the piss out of disabled people is never acceptable but the whole audience laughed and clapped.
golden gordon Posted 19 August 2006 Posted 19 August 2006 the bono one must be the best of all time , i'd love to have seen the smug righteous b*st*rd's face my other favourite was a bill bailey one where he is told to stop walking across the stage but it is too visual for me to explain but i'm sure others here would have seen it
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