Funny Economics Lesson!

[Phube]

Economic models explained by cows

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.

FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

[lookwhaticando]

That's the classic sheep example, modified to replace 'sheep' with 'cows' and a few other examples slipped in.

You can tell because the Welsh Corp. no longer makes as much sense.

[Phube]

That's the classic sheep example, modified to replace 'sheep' with 'cows' and a few other examples slipped in.

You can tell because the Welsh Corp. no longer makes as much sense.

Ahhh, well it was e-mail to me and I've never seen it before!!!

But are you telling me the Welsh are that fussy!!! (Sorry Finnegan!!)

What about all the milking references!!??

[lookwhaticando]

Ahhh, well it was e-mail to me and I've never seen it before!!!

But are you telling me the Welsh are that fussy!!! (Sorry Finnegan!!)

What about all the milking references!!??

There's a few changes, yes. Obviously.

Though you could milk a sheep... it has nipples.

I guess it's a series of these types of email... the Welsh one is a shameless copy of the Welsh example in the Sheep method.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

You have two sheep.

You sell one and buy a ram.

Your flock multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: (Workchoices!)

You have two sheep.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the wool of four sheep.

You are surprised when the sheep drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You go on strike because you want three sheep.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary sheep and produce 20 times the wool.

You then create clever sheep cartoon images called Sheepkimon and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and shear themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

Both die from foot and mouth.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two sheep, but you don't know where they are.

You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You count them and learn you have five sheep.

You count them again and learn you have 42 sheep.

You count them again and learn you have 12 sheep.

You stop counting sheep and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:

You have 5,000 sheep, none of which belong to you.

You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You have 300 people shearing them.

You claim full employment, high productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

A WELSH CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

That one on the left is kinda cute...

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