rotherhamfox Posted 2 August 2004 Share Posted 2 August 2004 This week was the first week of my new job, its for a company called Garnett and Dickinson, a printing works, the work is a piece of piss but very very boring. Anyways the firm is made up of hardcore Sheff Ure fans, clad mainly in fake burberry hats, one soft lad left the tag on the back of his, stating its price and location of purchase, 'Doncaster Flea Market, £3'. As you can tell my work mates are high class clientel. Others include a woman of the name of Amanda who's getting very excited about her weekend trip to Cleethorpes, saying stroking a donkey would be the highlight of her year. A woman of 57 with fake breasts, when asked what i thought of her i replied 'Well shes got two things going for her'. My Supervisor is the female version of Jeff Capes, bollocked me first day for not stacking stuff straight, i was rather relieved i just got a ticking off as she could of most probably lifted me and thrown me through the window, Jean is one hell of a heavyweight. On the second day, me and Stevo (One of those Sheff Ure scummers, but hes alrite actually), were flicking through one of the pointless pieces of literature we had just printed, this one being Hardware Products, other best selling magazines we print are just as compelling, 'Old Tractor', a chronicle of the fast paced farming essential item that is well a tractor, its sub headline boasts of the fact that 'Old Tractor' is 'Number one Old Tractor Magazine', yeh cos the market's full of em. Theres Perfect Poultry, i learnt how to stuff a cock into the oven the other day after reading a great article in that. Theres also 'Athiritis Today', and 'A guide to the European PEP plan'. But anyways we were reading this Hardware products one, inventions included plastic dogs that were pretending to dig stuff up, gola trainers that light up, and finally the best, you paid £20 for 3 bags full of lion shit, cos apparently spreading it on your garden will scare cats off. I was left thinking how the **** does a cat know what Lion shit smells like, this theory ive devised may explain all. Thousands of cat owners are being left bemused by the fact that many of their pussys have dissapeared, theres a rumour that a group of them had booked a last minute package deal off teletext to go on safarai(this is the only explanation i can find for how the cats know what lion shit smells like, travelling the mass plains of Africa, searching for the scent that would put em off trespassing on folks gardens). The next couple of days amounted to nothing really, apart from a bad back. The last day came and i was glad i was finished for the week, now in Rotherham at the minute theres a bus strike, and i have to wait an hour and half for a weelfreeda beehive one, cos they are still working. I got to the Rov Rum interchange and was rather knackered so i laid on bench and fell asleep. I was suddenly awoken by a cleaner with the pharse '**** off you tramp, we dont have your sort in here', now i don't blame the half witted bitch for calling me this, im not bitter at all, the **** cow, but she may have had reason, cos i had my shitty work clothes on and at the min my hair is quite long and i hadn't shaved that morning. So after getting up i put on my poshest voice on and explained i was coming home from work, and was just simply resting my eyes after a lengthy graft, and she said 'Well this makes a change, a posh tramp, anyways **** off'. Another wonderful example of South Yorkshire hospitality there. That event was the climax of my roller coaster first week of my new job, i thank you for listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted 2 August 2004 Share Posted 2 August 2004 Is this a permanent full-time job for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Posted 2 August 2004 Share Posted 2 August 2004 As seen by us posting whores on TalkingBalls. :w00t: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rotherhamfox Posted 2 August 2004 Author Share Posted 2 August 2004 Is this a permanent full-time job for you? Yep until i go back to college in september. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted 3 August 2004 Share Posted 3 August 2004 How enthralling! I don't suppose you print either 'Plastics and Rubber Weekly', or 'Wet News'? My old supervisor was very fond of those two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Daniel Posted 3 August 2004 Share Posted 3 August 2004 Trust you to ask that Lisa! i learnt how to stuff a cock into the oven That sounds quite painful though mate, is it ok now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted 3 August 2004 Share Posted 3 August 2004 Trust you to ask that Lisa! Oi! Cheeky get! 'Plastics and Rubber Weekly' is an informative insight into the plastics and rubber industry, whilst 'Wet News' is a monthly guide to water-based polymers, I'll have you know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Daniel Posted 3 August 2004 Share Posted 3 August 2004 They may be about them topics but i know it wasnt them that was going through you head when thinking about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted 3 August 2004 Share Posted 3 August 2004 They may be about them topics but i know it wasnt them that was going through you head when thinking about it. I have no idea what you are on about....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Daniel Posted 3 August 2004 Share Posted 3 August 2004 Ok then, we'll let it drop! Oh and Lisa, you know you said your same ow and close to my seat at Derby? Are you top tier? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted 3 August 2004 Share Posted 3 August 2004 Ok then, we'll let it drop!Oh and Lisa, you know you said your same ow and close to my seat at Derby? Are you top tier? Yes, they wouldn't sell me any tickets in the lower part, the gits. They had wanted to put in me in X until I told where they could stick row X....quite literally! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Daniel Posted 3 August 2004 Share Posted 3 August 2004 Ok then, so your 10 seats away from me, who else you sitting with? Anyone we know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted 3 August 2004 Share Posted 3 August 2004 Ok then, so your 10 seats away from me, who else you sitting with? Anyone we know? Only the hubby.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Daniel Posted 3 August 2004 Share Posted 3 August 2004 Oh right cool, ill have to come and have a chat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted 3 August 2004 Share Posted 3 August 2004 Oh right cool, ill have to come and have a chat. Look for the tall Gareth Barry lookalike, with a small(ish) 'bird'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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