End of footabll as we know it?

[kenny]

In an amazing statement, the FA, FIFA and UEFA have announced that the 25th of May 2005 was the end of the great game known as football. "We have taken the decision because nothing in football is worth winning any more" said a statement released last night. After discussions with ManUSA we realised that

1) the league cup is worth nothing, and anyone winning it can be declared a joke. After being among the first to devalue it by fielding second string sides, and then laughing at clubs who did win it, they somehow realised it was important when they reached the final against Liverpool, and again against Chelsea this season. Sources at ManUSA say they didn't mean to take it seriously those years and now again believe it to be a Mickey Mouse Cup

2) the Premiership was also worthless said the FA as ManUSA have told us that it is unfair that Chelsea have all the money and they want their ball back

3) In more discussions with ManUSA UEFA have also realised that the Champions League means nothing now that the format has changed. "We keep getting knocked out in the 2nd round, before we used to get to the Quarter Finals before we were knocked out" said the American club. Now that Liverpool have won the trophy we realised its not the holy grail we thought it was

4) the FA cup is also to be disbanded after ManUSA said that they deserved to win it and if they cant win it clubs like Arsenal should not have the temerity to turn up and rob them, plus they didn't bother to turn up in 2000

5) The UEFA cup is also among the trophies to go after Liverpool's win in 2001 was declared not worthy enough, and that any trophy never won by ManUSA should not be allowed to exist

In the absence of football a new World Series will take place and only ManUSA and the Tampa Bay Rowdies will be invited to participate