Who's the daddy?

[Guest]

Yes, and it's the kids that truly matter in the end.

I know this will be extremely controversial but in the great scheme of things, the survival of the human race, it doesn't  matter two hoots who brings the kids up so long as they survive safe and well in the sort of caring environment which is likely to ensure the next generation are also safely brought up.

Hence my belief that the scientists are doing irrepairable harm and causing totally unnecessary and long-lasting misery.

Leave well alone. I've personally got absolutely no suspicions about my kids (though it wouldn't be the first time I've been wrong in life) but they've been part of my life a long time now, I love em (whatever) and I would be proud and happy for them to call me dad wherever they came from.

Doesn't mean I want the discomfort of having such news thrust in my face.

Washing dirty linen in public never did any good.

155440[/snapback]

Unfortunately, the truth has a nasty habit of slapping us in the face when we least expect it.

If you've been unfaithful, and you're found out by whatever means, you have only yourself to blame. When kids are involved, it gets messy but I maintain that if someone has been unfaithful, then there is or was something wrong with the relationship, and I wouldn't want to live with that.

[Thracian]

Unfortunately, the truth has a nasty habit of slapping us in the face when we least expect it.

If you've been unfaithful, and you're found out by whatever means, you have only yourself to blame.  When kids are involved, it gets messy but I maintain that if someone has been unfaithful, then there is or was something wrong with the relationship, and I wouldn't want to live with that.

155508[/snapback]

Don't know but I imagine you're still young. Honestly though, I hope life works out as "fairy tale" as you wish but more often the truth is that things turn out far from black and white.

Saints are few and far between among human beings. All relationships that I know of burn hot and cold (and you have to work on the things that are wrong). Temptation can prove hard to resist at all sorts of times and in all sorts of situations and for all sorts of reasons.

The question is do you love unconditionally and will your love therefore have the chance to survive anything or is it a "so long as" sort of love which will probably lead to ultimate disappointment.

[Guest]

Don't know but I imagine you're still young. Honestly though, I hope life works out as "fairy tale" as you wish but more often the truth is that things turn out far from black and white.

Saints are few and far between among human beings. All relationships that I know of burn hot and cold (and you have to work on the things that are wrong). Temptation can prove hard to resist at all sorts of times and in all sorts of situations and for all sorts of reasons.

The question is do you love unconditionally and will your love therefore have the chance to survive anything or is it a "so long as" sort of love which will probably lead to ultimate disappointment.

155525[/snapback]

What gives you the impression that I live some kind of 'fairy tale'? You're way off track, if you must know. Love isn't a singular emotion, with it there's other feelings involved, and if you love and respect your partner then resisting temptation is pretty easy. Or perhaps I have more will-power than most?

Love does not have to be unconditional; doesn't everyone deserve the right to love and be loved by someone who respects them, and doesn't treat them like a doormat? The people living 'fairy tales' are those who put up with all sorts of crap from their partners and are unhappy, not those who are prepared to take their destiny in their own hands.

I don't need the marriage guidance either, I'm well aware that relationships need working on, which is why I am happily married to a man who can annoy the hell out of me at times, but for most of the time is my best friend in the world.

[Thracian]

What gives you the impression that I live some kind of 'fairy tale'?  You're way off track, if you must know.  Love isn't a singular emotion, with it there's other feelings involved, and if you love and respect your partner then resisting temptation is pretty easy.  Or perhaps I have more will-power than most?

Love does not have to be unconditional; doesn't everyone deserve the right to love and be loved by someone who respects them, and doesn't treat them like a doormat?  The people living 'fairy tales' are those who put up with all sorts of crap from their partners and are unhappy, not those who are prepared to take their destiny in their own hands.

I don't need the marriage guidance either, I'm well aware that relationships need working on, which is why I am happily married to a man who can annoy the hell out of me at times, but for most of the time is my best friend in the world.

155529[/snapback]

I'm not for a moment condoning infidelity but just, for instance, imagine you're a soldier on a long term tour of duty away from your family. Is every soldier who ever succombed to a night's temptation treating his wife like a doormat?

As for marriage guidance I don't think I even mentioned marriage. I'm delighted your husband is also your best friend and that you are so obviously happy. I've completed nearly 40 years of marriage but now my wife is so ill that she might never return to a normal life after her hospitalisation.

I won't, but imagine I did "take a little comfort" somewhere. Would that really mean I don't respect her and was treating her like a doormat? I'm not having a go at you, or advising you, far from it. I'm just pointing out that circumstances can sometimes make life far from the ideal that you'd like.

[Guest]

I'm not for a moment condoning infidelity but just, for instance, imagine you're a soldier on a long term tour of duty away from your family. Is every soldier who ever succombed to a night's temptation treating his wife like a doormat?

As for marriage guidance I don't think I even mentioned marriage. I'm delighted your husband is also your best friend and that you are so obviously happy. I've completed nearly 40 years of marriage but now my wife is so ill that she might never return to a normal life after her hospitalisation.

I won't,  but imagine I did "take a little comfort" somewhere. Would that really mean I don't respect her and was treating her like a doormat? I'm not having a go at you, or advising you, far from it. I'm just pointing out that circumstances can sometimes  make life far from the ideal that you'd like.

155549[/snapback]

Everyone's different, and we can only judge people by our own standards. Maybe I should consider lowering mine rather than being considered idealistic. For every one of your soldiers mentioned above, there must be more who do manage to get through a long spell away from their partner without submitting to their 'needs'.

Life at times can be cruel, but if you've made a vow to forsake all others, then the least you should do is honour it, and if you can't then question yourself as to why. I'm sorry to read your wife is so ill, but in my own personal opinion, if you were to take comfort elsewhere (I know you've said you wouldn't ) that would be worse than a 'kicking a man when he's down' type scenario.

It just goes to show how overrated sex is!

[Thracian]

Everyone's different, and we can only judge people by our own standards.  Maybe I should consider lowering mine rather than being considered idealistic.  For every one of your soldiers mentioned above, there must be more who do manage to get through a long spell away from their partner without submitting to their 'needs'.

Life at times can be cruel, but if you've made a vow to forsake all others, then the least you should do is honour it, and if you can't then question yourself as to why.  I'm sorry to read your wife is so ill, but in my own personal opinion, if you were to take comfort elsewhere (I know you've said you wouldn't ) that would be worse than a 'kicking a man when he's down' type scenario.

It just goes to show how overrated sex is!

155589[/snapback]

You've certainly understood my feelings where my wife is concerned. If there's one time a person needs to trust you, believe in you, count on you it is that. And it is absolutely no problem for me.

But what I was trying to point out was that when you're a battlefield soldier and when you're quite likely to be blasted out of existence tomorrow or the next day then who's to judge how a guy reacts?.

And, with a poorly wife, it is so desperately gut wrenching at times that I don't think I could judge the reaction of someone else to that same trauma.

Sometimes you just have a drink or three and you don't give a s..t about anything, even your life. I imagine it would be very easy for some people to do something they might regret in those circumstances.

You just want the problems to disappear for a while I guess especially when the solutions are so elusive. I don't think I've explained all that very well but I've tried.

[Thracian]

By the way I didn't aim the word "idealistic" at you as a barbed arrow. Nor do I think you should lower your standards in any way. For what it's worth you sound like a smashing girl to me and I just sincerely hope that life doesn't deal you cards that you could do without.

[davieG]

Just to lighten the moment, a bloke joke I know but relevant to the thread.

A guy is standing in the queue at the supermarket when suddenly he realises a fit looking blond is waving to him and smiling, he is a little confused but seems to vaguely recognise her.

He walks over to her and says "sorry do we know each other?"

Her reply - "I think that you're the father of one of my children"

At this panic sets in, he has only been unfaithful once and so he asks her "were you the striper-gramme that I shagged on the pool table at that stag doo with 50 blokes watching, whilst your mate whipped me with a wet piece of celary and somebody stuck a cucumber up my aris"?

Her reply - "no I'm your sons English teacher"

[Thracian]

Just to lighten the moment, a bloke joke I know but relevant to the thread.

A guy is standing in the queue at the supermarket when suddenly he realises a fit looking blond is waving to him and smiling, he is a little confused but seems to vaguely recognise her.

He walks over to her and says "sorry do we know each other?"

Her reply - "I think that you're the father of one of my children"

At this panic sets in, he has only been unfaithful once and so he asks her "were you the striper-gramme that I shagged on the pool table at that stag doo with 50 blokes watching, whilst your mate whipped me with a wet piece of celary and somebody stuck a cucumber up my aris"?

Her reply - "no I'm your sons English teacher"

155753[/snapback]

The perfect tonic Thanks.

[Guest]

Just to lighten the moment, a bloke joke I know but relevant to the thread.

A guy is standing in the queue at the supermarket when suddenly he realises a fit looking blond is waving to him and smiling, he is a little confused but seems to vaguely recognise her.

He walks over to her and says "sorry do we know each other?"

Her reply - "I think that you're the father of one of my children"

At this panic sets in, he has only been unfaithful once and so he asks her "were you the striper-gramme that I shagged on the pool table at that stag doo with 50 blokes watching, whilst your mate whipped me with a wet piece of celary and somebody stuck a cucumber up my aris"?

Her reply - "no I'm your sons English teacher"

155753[/snapback]

Ah, so you've been emailed it too then.....

[Guest]

By the way I didn't aim the word "idealistic" at you as a barbed arrow. Nor do I think you should lower your standards in any way. For what it's worth you sound like a smashing girl to me and I just sincerely hope that life doesn't deal you cards that you could do without.

155662[/snapback]

Ok, thanks for the compliment!