Bojimha Posted 30 August 2007 Posted 30 August 2007 After reading about FSM from THEBIGJOHNSTEADER I am intrigued as to what the course will consist of. I was hoping either the man himself or others that he has been known to train could please answer the following questions on it before I look at studying it next year at open university. 1) How many modules does the course consist of, what are the names of these and what is required to obtain a pass? 2) If you manage to frequent clubs often and manage to obtain several FS within a single term does this boost your final grades and are there penalties if your mates find out? 3) What is the final certification awarded once finishing the course and are there different pass rates or is it just pass or fail? 4) After completing the FSM course what career path can I expect to find entry into? 5) What are the course fees and is the trading of other goods / items accepted as form of payment I am sure there are many more questions such as needing examples of exam questions etc but they can wait. Thanks TBJS All The Best Panz (I need some smiles today so hope this is a good one!)
THEBIGJOHNSTEADER; Posted 30 August 2007 Posted 30 August 2007 TBJS Away message: Gone for a stench ridden poo, will answer any queries on my return. Should you require any immediate assistance as an aside then please contact Ricky Sappleton at Ricky.No [email protected]. Your mail will not be forwarded
THEBIGJOHNSTEADER; Posted 30 August 2007 Posted 30 August 2007 Right ok FSM part 1, here we go.... Lecture 1 in the series is absolutely free. Lectures 2-9 accrue a charge tba Lecture 1: Fat Slag Management - The Boil in the bag Fat Slag; ...... Step 1 - get your beer goggles on Step 2 - go to place with loads of birds, ensure there are fat ones around as they're are the ones we are going to **** when we get rejected by the real crumpet Step 3 - slap a lard bitches arse, she'll probably turn her nose up you at first resembling a fat pig, do't let this put you off. Go to the bar, get a drink, put out the vibe Step 4 - Wait for an hour Step 5 - The fat girl is now quitedrunk , she's beginning to realise you're her only path to some pork scratchings as the clock nears 1:30am. All her fit mates are getting off with lads and she's feeling neglected. Step 6 - Right she's coming to be bar, give her THAT look, you know the look, you know the one, everyone's got one, could it be , could it be , it doesn't matter, as long as she knows you've acknowledged her Step 7 - the tricky bit. Whisper tenderley into her ear the following words, "Can I bum your terts/mouth and/or "alright darling, legs is the word of the night, let's go round the back and spread the word" Step 8 - She's mesmorised, she can't believe her luck, a fit young stallion like yourself, could you really be interested in this fat blotchy walrus like her (note: if she still looks like walrus shoot an absynth or two) Step 9 - wait till your mates are all occupied elsewhere, take the lady out to pork, destination is up to you. Step 10 - you know the rest..once completed, give her flirt divert and leg it *Brought to you in association with Morrissons 'Just Chicken' Sandwhiches*
Geo V Posted 30 August 2007 Posted 30 August 2007 Right ok FSM part 1, here we go....Lecture 1 in the series is absolutely free. Lectures 2-9 accrue a charge tba Lecture 1: Fat Slag Management - The Boil in the bag Fat Slag; ...... Step 1 - get your beer goggles on Step 2 - go to place with loads of birds, ensure there are fat ones around as they're are the ones we are going to **** when we get rejected by the real crumpet Step 3 - slap a lard bitches arse, she'll probably turn her nose up you at first resembling a fat pig, do't let this put you off. Go to the bar, get a drink, put out the vibe Step 4 - Wait for an hour Step 5 - The fat girl is now quitedrunk , she's beginning to realise you're her only path to some pork scratchings as the clock nears 1:30am. All her fit mates are getting off with lads and she's feeling neglected. Step 6 - Right she's coming to be bar, give her THAT look, you know the look, you know the one, everyone's got one, could it be , could it be , it doesn't matter, as long as she knows you've acknowledged her Step 7 - the tricky bit. Whisper tenderley into her ear the following words, "Can I bum your terts/mouth and/or "alright darling, legs is the word of the night, let's go round the back and spread the word" Step 8 - She's mesmorised, she can't believe her luck, a fit young stallion like yourself, could you really be interested in this fat blotchy walrus like her (note: if she still looks like walrus shoot an absynth or two) Step 9 - wait till your mates are all occupied elsewhere, take the lady out to pork, destination is up to you. Step 10 - you know the rest..once completed, give her flirt divert and leg it *Brought to you in association with Morrissons 'Just Chicken' Sandwhiches* You forgot... Step 10 - Tell her of your financial woes and talk her into buying you a new laptop. Your step 10 should be 11. You amateur.
Dames Posted 30 August 2007 Posted 30 August 2007 Its inevitable that your gunna end up with a fat bird at least once in your life if you go out regularly. Thanks for the advice TBJS now i know how to reel em in
Geo V Posted 30 August 2007 Posted 30 August 2007 Its inevitable that your gunna end up with a fat bird at least once in your life if you go out regularly.Thanks for the advice TBJS now i know how to reel em in Charlie Chans at Walthamstow on a Thursday night used to be full of older and fatter women. We like to call them old stinkers down here which is a perfect description. Daring to pop into Chans after a night at the dog track (Chans is a club directly underneath the dog stadium) was aways risky as the place stunk of desperation and it was a case of beating them away, regardless of what the fellas look like. Yes you`ll pull an old stinker but you will need advice on how to get rid of them and not pull them. Time for TBJS to give some more pointers
Bojimha Posted 31 August 2007 Author Posted 31 August 2007 Lecture 1: Fat Slag Management - The Boil in the bag Fat Slag; Absolutely quality mate, funny as fuk! Gotta try and get the LEA to give me some money for tuition fees for this one.
Flynny Posted 19 February 2008 Posted 19 February 2008 I want TBJS back. My contacts have advised as part of the team building they all played 'eat the soggy biscuit' at half time. Milan was unwittinglly invited into the game by Martin Allen, not knowing of the game rules and the impending ending of he who eats the soggy oat based snack. With Milan being his age and it being a mass effort to get a boner, he was left furiously masturbating over an already saturated digestive. His face was all red and he looked up to see the others laughing at him. This was the final straw.I knew I should have stook to de-caff!! I pissed myself laughing at that about 5 times the day he posted it and again tonight.
General Smuts Posted 19 February 2008 Posted 19 February 2008 I want TBJS back.I pissed myself laughing at that about 5 times the day he posted it and again tonight. Coooooooooooooome Back!
Flynny Posted 19 February 2008 Posted 19 February 2008 It says he was online yesterday? Shit seriously? I hope he sees this. Maybe if we all link arms and worship him some more?
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