BeardyFox

Sick of these OT defeats

Totally ****ed this up

Bar crawl in Buenos Aires about 7 years ago. Loads from the hostel me and my mate were staying at went along. Loads of drinks and merriment later we end up in a club in a dodgy looking area. I got separated from my mate but found two birds from the hostel. In my state I tried it on with one of them only to be unsurprisingly told to p*ss off. One more drink to ease my sorrows and from then on I only remember snippets; Getting off with an Argentinian bird, walking outside to see my mate get out the back of a blacked out car looking like he'd seen a ghost (he never told me what happened in there). Somehow walking half of BA to get back to the hostel, I then remember waking up and throwing up something similar to a scene from the exorcist. Next morning I'm woken slightly by a knock on the door, my mate who is somehow fresh as a daisy opens it to find the hostel handyman who wants to fix the door handle. My mate shouts across to me to see if it's ok I turned around to see the handyman peer in and glimps me in my pants and a huge pile of sick on the floor. I'd lost the ability to talk I was still so drunk, but I let out the longest loudest fart I've ever done, snorted and fell back asleep. Apparently the handyman was undeterred by this and went about his business.

While at uni, I met a friend of one of my mates girlfriends.We got on really well, she was a fiesty red head with a hell of a body and a right laugh. After a bit of texting we agreed to go on a date, the following weekend we'd go to the cinema and see where the night takes us. I couldn't wait! However on the following Thursday I developed the sh*ts so bad that I honestly thought I was never - not going to be sat on a toilet. In my fevered state I was convinced I couldn't reschedule as she may not want to go out with me again. So Friday night rolls round and I play myself up with lucozade, shower and liberally apply some Joop Jump! Looking and smelling like an extra from The Walking Dead I meet her and had the most uncomfortable 3 hours of my life squirming and sweating in my seat trying not to fart or sh*t myself. I'm not a religious man but I prayed to every God that my bum cheeks wouldn't surrender. Towards the end of the film I could smell the sweat and general turd odours on me so God knows what she must've thought. As we left i stopped to do up my jacket, I turned around and she'd legged it on to the nearest bus never to be seen again.

Hahahaha. Though we've got away with one there, started far too sliwly.

You’d think they’d learn...

Bring on cleverley or Sane, bloody hell

? just like the strength needed to open a packet of crisps

Totally forgot we beat them, shows how memorable that league campaign was!

When was the last time someone gave Man City a good thrashing?! Would love to see them get beat 5/6-0. And Pep to have beans stains on his jumper.

Rank defending

Pep can suck my gooch

Where’s the nearest bin for Nacho

Think we should to consolidate a top ten finish this season, let BR assess the squad and get a full pre season behind us and have a go next year, the team is nowhere near good enough to handle the fixture pile-up. Can’t even beat teams like Newcastle at home with a full weeks rest let alone two days after a trip to arse-endistan on a Thursday.

Really need some new faces in the team. With only a couple of exceptions I wouldn’t be arsed about any of them leaving. You get the feeling that any attack against us can lead to a goal yet any attack we make it hardly ever feels dangerous. Lots of work to do for BR.