Zingari

on this evidence i beg to differ

A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig," she retorted indignantly. "In this country. we don't speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives. "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin'abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'

thanks smudge i'll try that when i get back ,

thanks ; in the programs i have gone to , accesories>system tools> system restore and there is an option to reset computer to a time before i deleted the sound mechanism ; i have done this and i now have the sound back for cds inserted into the drive, but all my music files already in windows media player are inaccessible and all it says is "try to fix the link (but no explanation how this is done) or delete the file maybe i will have to uninstall all my music ( about 200 cds ) and reinstall them ; hoping i can avoid this ; thanks again

on my pc ,i've got windows media player and real player and decided (as i never use real player but it keeps popping up) to uninstall the real player ; but i've accidentally deleted my sound device as well ( maybe it was realtek ) how do i recover it or get a sound device back ; any ideas, thanks in advance

thanks ; have found the problem ; it was the belkin router "MTU number" that needed to be reset; don't asy me why or how

just signed up for talktalk broadband ( with my own router , {belkin,} so the tech helpline is not much use ) and mostly everything is ok but i can't access some sites like ebay, hotmail etc , have tried disabling security firewall but still no good and tried the suggested remedies in talktalk faqs any suggestions would be welcome ; ta in advance

NELSON MANDELA Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, "You Sign! You sign!" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder, "You Sign! You sign!" Nelson says to him, "Look, you've obviously got the wrong man", and shuts the door in his face. The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!" Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the little Chinese man back, shouting: "Look, go away! You've got the wrong man. I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again. The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting, "You sign! You sign!" Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little Man by his shirt front and yells at him: "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?" The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says: (It's a beauty) (Wait for it) (Get your best Chinese accent ready) "You not Nissan Main Deala?"

don't know if it's in the right thread but it made me laugh if you cannot read what is said on the tattooo it is a picture of a ruler with the words, " you must be as big as me to enjoy this ride "

anyone see that story on the wright stuff today about the woman who bought some duck eggs at the supermarket and they hatched ; the two little ducklings are called splish and splash ahhrrrrr

MESSAGE FROM KEN TO FEZ FINALLY, after going through various virus attacks, losing all info on hard drive drives, fighting off hackers, upgrading all my software, installing fire-walls, being threatened with being cut-off by my email provider, and a host of other technical problems ... I ( with the help of Fez and his team on foxestalk)have fixed my computer... and NOW it works exactly the way I want it; thanks fez and the gang ; anyone fancy a stiff one tonight ? sorry i put this in wrong thread , it is in "technical help needed" general chat

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Signed-by-20-Leicest...1QQcmdZViewItem thought this may interest some collectors MM has also signed it ; i'm not the seller btw

Looks like Murray ( "there go the ferraris" ) Walker to me ; can't imagine he was an manager though

who does kris marshall remind you of ? ; he's the one on the left

ade akinbiyi or possibly iain hume

from last post 5- Javier Halos, 27 years old, was killed by his landlord for failing to pay his rent for 8 years. The landlord, Kirk Weston, clubbed the victim to death with a toilet seat after he realized just how long it had been since Mr Halos paid his rent. the police had nothing to go on