Trav Le Bleu

People

In a previous "what annoys you" thread I rattled off a list which mostly started with, "people that..."

You've hit the nail on the head Hairy!

Did an extra delivery.

In Braunstone.

Go figure

Well, I write right-handed and bowl right-handed, I only bat left-handed and kick left-footed.

Are you Kevin Pietersen?

Manhunter

Top film! Better than Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal and 100 times better than Red Dragon (essentially the same film)

I love Converse

Got 3 pairs that I mix and match! (Red, green and black)

Cons rule!

And to get the thread on track again, I really hate balloons!

Women who wear low cut tops and short skirts and then wonder why men stare at them/at their tits/pull their clothes off.

No what's REALLY annoying is women who wear short skirts and then are forever pulling them down, or split skirts and then are always pulling them together. Look, it's really simple, if you don't want to show off your legs, then don't wear them.

Also women who wear t-shirts with writing on who then get offended when you stare at their boobs! WELL YOU STARTED IT!!

Come around Daggers, I have 2 crates of Stella that need drinking, and about 6 bottles of whisky, 3 bottles of port and a cheap bottle Martini!!!

Single malt or the nasty stuff?

People who dont like tim westwood.

My fridge-freezer has stopped working.

I've lost all my shopping that I bought this morning.

My Magnums have melted.

I am so angry I can't bring myself to use the words fuck or cunt to describe my rage.

Fiddlesticks.

Mine stopped working a couple of weeks back when I was on hols. The house stank when we got home!

Still haven't got a new one cos haven't got the money to spare and don't want to take on any more debt

Birmingham.

As soon as I posted this I knew the answer... I'd like to add to my list "cocky gits!"

It's my period.

I might regret asking this but... so where are you bleeding from?

What really annoys me is when people start threads that are almost identical to ones that were doing the rounds a couple of months ago!

Annoying Thread

On the subject of car parking, one Christmas at Asda in Oadby I was parked in their car park in a section where the driveway goes around in a C. I came back to find myself (and other irate drivers (or, as the case was at the time, non-drivers)) blocked in by 4 cars who had decided to park in the driveway's in and out lanes. These 4 cars blocked in approximately 30 cars. There was wasn't much peace and goodwill for the first of the 4 idiots that returned!

I find there are so many car related things that annoy me. Double parking in bays (usually by flash Beemers who don't wanna get their paint scratched). It should be permissable to key such cars! Motorway middle lane cruisers, or worse yet, people doing 65 in the outside lane of the motorway. Sports cars driven slowly on country lanes (just what is the point old man - finally, in your dotage, you can afford a Porsche, but you no longer have the desire or ability to use it as intended!) They dirve fast inbetween bends, when they have a straight line, but slow down to 40 or 30 for bends, forcing me in my bog standard Mondeo to slow down. Swap cars mate! Your driving experience would be remarkably similar, whilst mine is much improved! Lorries overtaking lorries on the motorway - have they nothing better to do for the next 10 miles!?! Oh, and here's a good personal one. On the A47 near Thorney Toll I had a car right up my backside whilst I was doing 70 (which, given, is illegal, but only exasperates me more - I mean, I'm already breaking the limit by 10 mph, how much faster do you want me to go!?) Finally he get a straight piece of road to overtake me on... only to turn right 150-200 metres down the road, forcing me to brake to a halt and wait for him. Tosser!

I'm going to have a lie down

PS, Daggers - Culturally Insensitive -

My orchestra arrived.

I'm going to play on my drums while my wife plays with my organ.

She gonna get her bongos out?

My day was awful. Four hours overtime in the rain... in Fleckney. Muzzy didn't invite me in for a cuppa - though in fairness I wasn't delivering to his house (plus I doubt he's in the habit of inviting the postie in to comiserate.)

I had a bhuddist friend who always refused any gas or injections when he had any work done on his teeth. Instead he would get a monk to come in with him and constantly chant a mantra. He liked to transcend dental medication.

Remember, always look out for bikes!

Though the "now you see him... NOW YOU SEE HIM... NOW YOU SEE HIM!!!" ad really grates since the guy checks, sees the bike behind him and so signals he is turning right. Why the hell is the bike trying to over-take him when he's signaling to turn right. Basically the ad is saying that bikers need not exercise caution when overtaking because it will always be the car driver's fault. Crap ad!

Mary had a little lamb

she threw it up in the air and caught it by it's

Willy was a watchdog, lying in the grass

along came a rattlesnake and bit him on his

Ask no questions, you get no lies

Have you ever seen a policeman doing up his

Flies are a nuisance, and bees are even worse

And that's the end of my silly little verse

Nice

And my favourite limerick of all time, by the late great Spike Milligan

There was an old man of St Bees

Who was stung on the arm by a wasp

When asked, does it hurt?

He replied, no it doesn't

I'm just glad it wasn't a hornet

Sigh... time to roll out the "Mary had," rhymes

Mary had a little lamb

She tied it to a pylon

10,000 volts went up its ass

And turned its wool to nylon

Mary had a little lamb

She also a duck

She put them in a cardboard box

To see if they would make friends

Mary had a little pig

She couldn't stop it grunting

So she took it down the garden path

And kicked its little head in

Mary had a little bike

She rode it back to front

And every time the wheel went round

A spoke went up her dress

Let the reader use discernment, cos my modesty forbids

Or is it this "guy"?

Was curiously my first thought at the time and this was sent by a friend in Portugal (of all places)

We can discount George Harrison cos of the reason mentioned but Ringo was on Joathan Ross and they showed a clip of a film where he played a Mexican. A mexican with a Liverpool accent should not be hard to find.

El guuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaccccchhho?

Did the woman just tell them to draw someone she dreamt in a nightmare after watching a spaghetti western? Cos that's just generic-mexican-bandido.. nobody (apart from George Harrison, and we can discount him cos he's dead (or is it yet another ruse?)) looks like that in real life without 2 hours in the make-up effects department.

Whilst we're on the nostalgia trip...

Them were the days!

Nostaligia isn't as good as it used to be mind!

Sniff... here's a piccy of Sooooooooper Stevie Claridge warming up in the last match at Filbert St...

See the kop packed out and not even a proper match!

Reckon I can also see Marshell, Robins and Taylor in the background there too - anyone else pick anyone out?

You only have to look at the difference in coverage between the Portugese media and the UK media to see that there is an almost under siege attitude amongst the inhaitants and police of Praia de Luz with the intense media and public campaign surrounding Madeleine's disappearance.

Yes... as opposed to the hordes of media types currently camped out in Rotheley you mean?

Suprise, suprise, they now want to come back to England all of a sudden.

Aye... it's been,

"We're not leaving without her."

"We're not leaving without her."

"We're not leaving without her."

and now...

"Erm, can we go home please?"

Either guilty or incredibly stupid, possibly both