Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Posted 11 October 2005 Remember me folks? It's been a long, long time hasn't it? Some of you have been dreading my return haven't you? Just waiting to hear the words...'told you so' aren't you? Well you can relax...we are not in hell yet, we're only half way there. Do you know what date it is today? Need a clue perhaps? 10/11 I will never let you forget it! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SUCKERS! WHOAH! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 Perhaps you are in need of a little clue. Maybe this might help to jog your memory... P12 W4 D4 L4 Pts16 Pos 11th Something stirring in skunk addled minds? 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 Still don't get it? Well how's about comparing the last clue with this one? P12 W2 D6 L4 Pts12 Pos 19th Proud of yourselves little men? Guess which of these record holders was forced out by YOUR antics? 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 As most of you inumerate Pollards can't read a league table let me tell you that the first clue had four more points on it than the second clue. And these extra points were achieved despite four sendings off. 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 It is also interesting to note that in clue one 11 of those points came in the last six games. For the inumerates amongst you (and believe me there are many on this board) that was and is play-off form. 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 But our mid table manager was forced to walk because of home defeats to Brighton and Watford, teams who finished 20th and 18th respectively. Now that is bad. I'll remind you about that in a minute. 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 Or was it because we ALWAYS played hoof? Well we did in that season when we came out of admin. Surprising but it did work and got us promotion. There were no complaints about it then I seem to remember. The manager didn't seem to need a transition period either getting promotion at the FIRST attempt with no money breaking all sorts of records along the way with a very weak side. So weak in fact it had to be broken up once we got in the Prem. Then we got a half decent side together with virtually no money fought a gallant campaign and the word hoof wasn't mentioned on the boards again for a whole season. Funny that... 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 Or did you make him walk because he couldn't manage 'class players?' Hard to believe it but that was what you were saying at the time. It wasn't very long though before these players became known as 'his crap.' In fact it seems that 'his crap' is now the reason why we are enjoying our lowest league position since 1991 - even though only about two of 'his turds' are ever in the side at any one time. 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 Or did you force him out because he was the one who was responsible for our players misbehaving at a certain Spanish hotel? Funny that because I seem to remember that the players didn't misbehave at all. I seem to remember they were falsely accused of rape by three Afro Kraut tarts who then sold their stories to the Screws. The players were then banged up without being charged and the judge, prosecutor and defence counsel tried to steal the club's bail money. The manager publicly backed his players and went through personal hell which YOU WANKERS PUT HIM THROUGH. 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 You know what there was even a twat of a poster who suggested that player turnover was because they all hated the man who got us promotion (despite administration) at the first attempt. Yeah his first side, the hoof one, was really good enough to hold its own in the Prem. And yeah, our big hearted players were really keen to go on half pay in the fizzy. Grow up twat! 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 The delusions continued under our caretakers. Our fickle boneheaded Pollards imagined they saw 'massive' improvements. Let me enlighten you: P4 W0 D4 L0 Pts4 Pos13th Tremendous (same points average per game as now)! 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 This tremendous improvement so flabbergasted the board they couldn't cope with the success so they brought in a completely new man. In your words, fickle bonehead folks, he was brought in to get us to the play-offs. Let me remind you again folks of what you said: TO GET US TO THE PLAY-OFFS. 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 Somewhere around January 2005 the words 'play-offs' suddenly fell out of the fickle bonehead vocabulary. In its place words like 'steadying the ship' 'consolidation' and 'transition' began to appear. But the ship was already steady in 11th place around about 10/11. But now it was ever so slightly sinking around about P15. 10/11 I will never let you forget it... Yeah but no but
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 Round about March 'steadying the ship' gave way to 'beating the drop.' Thankfully we managed to do that and to finish in P15 - four places BELOW were we were on 10/11. Not due to any real improvement in form - the teams at the bottom just got worse. Some wankers on here were even prepared to see us relegated and retain the management responsible. Being in denial can make you do strange things... 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 And along the way in our play off, consolidating, avoiding relegation season, management set some pretty impressive records (like lowest league position for 14 years as we have just seen). But not a peep out of the fickle bonehead Pollards. But they cacked their pants in rage for things not even half as bad under the manager who delivered promotion at the first attempt and kept LCFC in existence. FOR EXAMPLE - remember that bit about losing at home to Brighton (that caused some of you to ask for the manager's resignation as early as AUGUST 27TH after just four games) who finished 20th and Watford who finished 18th (that caused most of you to ask for the same thing). Well I seem to remember losing at home to every Leicester fan's second team and they were relegated in 23rd place. I also remember us losing at home to the team that finished bottom a full 15 points adrift of the next team above them - the worst team EVER to have competed in this division in the eyes of most experts. 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 Another impressive record is not a single league away win this year (this may soon become an absolute record for the club at this level). This is a very serious problem because only shit awful sides can't win away. Shit awful sides get relegated... Shit awful sides can't manage back to back wins either - another of our unwelcome records for 2005. At least we are the draw bore champs (OK along with Wolves - but they win instead of losing). Twenty draws last season and half our games so far this. Keep up that point a game average that's what the fickle bonehead Pollards say... 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 But still, current management has brought in players who really can play a bit. They have had top level experience in one of Europe's top leagues. Well, one or two of them are getting on a bit. Other's weren't quite as promising as they once were. And other's were er surplus to requirements. Perish the thought but doesn't the phrase 'you're just a side full of rejects' spring to mind? I know I'm being a bit cruel because that's all we can afford. Just reminding you of what you said about the other manager who got us a promotion when we were broke with a load of rejects... 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 Still, at least we have a man who really has a track record. Got his side to finish just behind the big two in his former league. Which was pretty much par for the course really... Can't help noticing now that soon after his departure his distinctly average replacement has got his former charges sitting pretty at the top of that league (er..that is in front of the big two). Probably won't last but it's intersting all the same as our boss never managed that. 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but not but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 Re. my last post I apologise for failing to recognise about how our boss laid the foundation for his last club's current success. He took all his rubbish with him! (and then went back for more!) I am SOOO cruel! 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 Well at least I can respect our boss's astonishing insights. The one I really liked was that one about 'getting to know the division, the teams and the stadia...' Forgive me but he wasn't thinking of us hanging around the Championship for long was he? I rather thought the object of the exercise was getting us out of this division pdq (and that means going up from this division for the complete morons amongst you). And as for the stadia...not for nothing is the Withdean called the Wembley of some god forsaken part of Sussex or wherever it is. 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 There's also his tactical nous...like recognising how slow our back line was getting back down the pitch behind the ball. Apparently they are really quick in chilly Jockoland getting back - to fish it out of the net. Don't you know that defences sit deep most of the time these days, that keeping a high line went out with the ark? Then there's the marking at set plays. Whatever you do make sure no one takes responsibility (particularly the captain) for getting the team to mark up. I could mention the wonderful penetrating midfield play in er midfield supplying our forwards with loads of shooting opportunities from fifty yards. 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 Then there are his famous motivational powers. He can really get his team fired up at half time. What I particularly like is the priority that he gives to the personal touch. Like saying he was going to go AWOL last year (ok he wanted to do a bit of scouting) when we were fighting for our lives at the bottom of the table. Or retreating to the comfort of the West Stand this year (it can get a bit chilly in the technical area you know). Is he charismatically dour or dourly charismatic? 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 And now for the killer blow. For those who think well damn it at least we are entertained more now than under the guy who got us promotion without consolidating whilst we were broke with a pile of crap etc etc. Well I have in my hand a little device called a 'hoof monitor.'And just like the Chelsea/Liverpool debate it has come up with some surprising statistics. We play more long ball now than we ever did under the guy who got us promotion etc etc. Just go to OPTA... I've got to hand it to some of you though...at least you gave him the 'don't know what you're doing' treatment. Shame he didn't get the message and walk... 10/11 I will never let you forget it! Yeah but no but...
Chandler Posted 11 October 2005 Author Posted 11 October 2005 So all you top knotted Vicki Pollard boneheads - are you finally going to come out of denial and admit you were wrong? Or are you to continue to say dumb things like 'we are a team in transition' (teams are always in transition between one manger and the next) and ignore all the stats? (like the point a game average that spells R-E-L-E-G-A-T-I-O-N) Of course things could suddenly get better but you have to admit that's on the low side of probabilities as we are a pretty predictable team. We cannot win away so that rules out the play-offs. We draw too many games and we lose more than we should at home. We are at least consistent. Consistently poor, consistently dull and it's imperceptibly getting worse. Of course my obsessive, insulting posting could be a very clever reverse psychological ploy on the part of LCFC to keep most of you lot onside and loyal to very mediocre management. Ever thought about that? GO FIGURE FICKLE BONEHEADS!!!! 10/11 I will never let you forget it! No but yeah but... (for the truly dumb amongst you this pithy piece of plagiarism is intended as a satirical swipe at your limited powers of logic and reason) I AM AN ARROGANT BASTARD AND PROUD OF IT!
New England Fox Posted 11 October 2005 Posted 11 October 2005 I AM AN ARROGANT BASTARD AND PROUD OF IT! No you're a Knob.
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