Good Jokes!

[Libertine]

really ? i nicked off alliance league website

Yep, it's a joke by Big Stan.

[frenchy_lcfc]

How about this one!

Saving George.W.Bush!!

George W. Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing, and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, "I want to go to Disneyland." George W. said, "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One".

The second kid said, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's."George W. said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!"

The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!" George W. was a little perplexed by this and said, "But you don't look like you are handicapped." The kid replied, "I will be, after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!"

[Guest Gist]

from a flatmate:

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, it told him to enter a password. The husband was in a rather humorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was keying in.

"P....E....N....I....S.."

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

**** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH*****

lol lol

well done flatmates

[Sophie]

HOW TO GET LEAVE

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not

allow me to take any leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then

he would tell me to take a few days off.

So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My

co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing?

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss

would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are

you doing?"

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a

couple of days"

I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the

blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "And where do you think you're

going?"

she said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!

[Anish]

A young holy boy was going to vatican city to see the pope. His mum said to him i'll make sure he speaks to you by buying you a QPR shirt as the pope is a big footy fan and will be sure to see the famous hooped shirt.

The boy is all excited the next day and is looking out for the popemobile. When he sees it the pope gets out and bends down and talks to a little boy in a Forest shirt and doesnt stop to see the QPR boy.

So that night the mum looks and looks and finally find a forest shirt and the boy goes back the next day in the forest shirt. This time the popemobile stops. The pope gets out and bends down to the litle boy and says.

"I thought i told you to *** off yesterday."