Alternative End of Season Awards

[Joe90]

11 hours ago, CrazyKopCorner said:

It's coming round to the end of season awards but it's been such a shitshow that an alternative award presentation is required. 

 

I'll start 

 

Woeful Player of the Season - Has to be Wout ****ing Faes - Total and utter shite and absolutely no commitment to the cause whatsoever. The sooner the frizzy haired tw@t ****s off the better

 

Supporters disdain for a player award - Has to be Faes  

 

Worst Team Performance  - Numerous - Brentford away was a personal low 

 

Worst individual performance - Ward Vs Wolves - Truly shocking 

 

Worst goal conceded - The 4th at Everton - Under 11's stuff (unfair on the kids that) 

 

Worst Young Player - Don't know - not played 

 

The Wooden Spoon (alternative to golden boot) - Daka - Couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo 

 

Worst Signing - Has to be Odsonne Edouard closely followed by Skipp 

 

That’s the spirit 

[Phil Mitchell]

3 hours ago, whoareyaaa said:

Best actor : Wout Faes

 

[Fazzer 7]

Worst performance of the season. There are too many to choose from. 

[OntarioFox]

Yeah go on then, for me it's:

 

Woeful Player of the Season - James Justin. It would be too easy to give it to Wout, but overall it's James' performances which have been the most damaging to us on a weekly basis. Made even worse by the fact that we all know he had a high ceiling before his injury - he has, sadly, been finished at the top level ever since, which makes his drop-off even harder to stomach. Every. Single. Team. Knows to target our right hand side. Add into the fact that he is seemingly allergic to either passing the halfway line, passing forwards or trying to beat a man, and he's negatively affected us both in defense and attack - yet has been undroppable for two managers, even after signing Coulibaly.

 

Supporters disdain for a player award - Faes - epitomises everything wrong with the team on the pitch and the disconnect between the players and the fanbase. Thinks he's better than he is despite being at fault for nearly everything that finds the back of our net. Knob - get rid ASAP.

 

Worst Team Performance  - Probably not one most would pick, but Arsenal at home (0-2 loss). Seems fine on paper, but anyone who was there knows that Arsenal were really poor on the day, and essentially playing their second-string due to injuries. Any other team could have walked away with at least a point. But we didn't even threaten. And the defending for both goals was appalling even by our usual standards.

 

Worst individual performance - Ward Vs Wolves - the point I personally gave up on us for the season, and stopped letting myself get wound-up by my club's absolute disdain for its own fanbase. 

 

Worst goal conceded - Merino's first for Arsenal makes me want our back line to be taped face-first to a urinal. Absolute schoolboy defending. I'd put either of Garnacho or Hojlund's for Man Utd the other week up there too - Faes and Soumare in particular appalling - but I've mentally checked out to such an extent that I'm done holding our defence to any level of standards any more.

 

Worst Young Player - F**k knows, we've barely played any of them besides McAteer and Thomas on rare occasions, neither of which I blame for this shambles and both of whom I'd keep around. The fact that this is the one category I can't pick for just goes to show how appalling our recruitment and squad policy has been this season. Blood on the hands of Cooper and Rudkin.

 

The Wooden Spoon (alternative to golden boot) - For sheer shiteness, Dakanbiyi. Too easy though - if we're calling out a player we thought would relish the step-up but has let both us and themselves down, probably Mavididi. I think he still has the potential to be a top-flight player at some level, but to say he's a shadow of the player he was last year would be an understatement. Massive point to prove if he's still with us next season.

 

Worst Signing - Skipp, for sheer price to return ratio. At least we don't have to keep Edouard after this shambles is over - Skipp on the other hand will still be be with us as a "steady" Championship midfielder who cost us the same as Fulham paid for Emile Smith Rowe. If for any reason the next manager decides he's not in their plans, that's £20 million of vital transfer budget (not to mention whatever wage he's on) down the drain at a time that we supposedly had our hands tied by PSR. Rudkin masterclass.

Edited 6 April by OntarioFox

[Vestan Pance]

Expected Goal of the Season

Daka.

 

The Plautner Award for effort

VK

 

Miss of the Season

Harry Winks (Enzo)

 

Clearance of the Season

The sad sap who picked up Vestergaards dog sheeeet.

 

 

Edited 6 April by Vestan Pance