Mickey Mousers Football Franchise Ltd

[Micky Ruddle]

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1. Diving Keegan
   
2. Moaning Dog-Leash
   
3. Phil 'back pass' Neal
   
4. Bruce Grubbyliar
   
5. Emlyn 'Helium' Hughes
   
6. Jason Racketeer
   
7. Calamity James
   
8. Mark 'porn star tash' Lawrenson
   
9. Steve 'I'm moving to a bigger club' McManamanamanaman
   
10. Na na na na na na Spackman!
    
11. Ian Thrush
    
12. John Couldnthitabarnesdoor
    
13. Robbie 'drug addict' Fowler
    
14. Emile 'he's fallen over again' Heskey
    
15. Igor Biscuitman
    
16. Dribble, Sissy!
    
17. Jimmy 'hog farmer' Traore
    
18. Floren the cinema-going pongy goalie
    
19. Fernando 'did well in Spain' Morientes
    
20. Pinocchio Thompson
    
21. John 'penalty king' Aldridge
    
22. Yosser Souness
    
23. Mark Wrong
    
24. Phil Crabb
    
25. Neil Haddock
    

[dandannieldanok]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:6a00c22...5200d0b8fdb.jpg

[potter3]

Dangers of Living in Leicester

There are of course certain dangers for those living in, and visiting, the city of Leicester. These dangers include those claw games that just refuse to pick up the plush toy you're spending hours trying to get your hands on and the various religious cults who ambush you in the streets and attempt to get your to worship their almighty glove puppets of doom or be lathered in crude oil and thrown in the Rancor pit. In recent years, students of Leicester have been stalked by the infamous Ultra FOX. A low budget film about Ultra's antics has recently been produced at The Willie Thorn Memorial Studios called "The Binoculars in The Bush"

The main danger however, is the problem of mimes. Being mentioned earlier as being present in Leicester, mimes are by far the most dangerous and feared creatures on the western side of the equator. Mimes are known to chase innocent people across shopping malls, refusing to stop following them until the victim turns around, which is when the mime will freeze on the spot and onlookers will begin to laugh at them, according to famous Russian actress Norman Lovett.

Another major danger in Leicester is the brutal Emo-Goth War. "What is so bad about this?" you may ask, "Let the depressed assholes kill each other!" If you're trying to get from the Market to Debenhams, which requires walking or segwaying through this god-forsaken area, you'll be up to your balls in Emos and Goths fighting over who get's to sulk around the clock tower. If you have a brain stem, however, you'll steer clear of this area. The violence is not limited to the clock tower, it often spreads down the surrounding roads and into the rest of the city. Also home to Leicester City FC depression and suicide has risen in leicester by 56.8731% because of their bad peformance. Leicester Tigers recent success is however curing this problem.

:laugh: :laugh:

Someone off here?

[Bert]

Not in the slighest bit amusing.