GUIDE TO THE BRITISH RIOT

[Rincewind]

GUIDE TO THE ENGLISH RIOT

SITUATION ONE

Six inches away from a shop window with a brick in hand. When asked by a police officer to put the brick down you reply 'Eff off Pig, it's a free country and I can do what I effing want. Throw brick smashing window.

RESULT

Arrested placed gently into a police van head first assisted by 4 burly policeman. Taken down to the police station, charged and allowed to spend the night in a cell. Next morning taken to court give a custodial sentence and sent to a prison where you will share a cell with a 20 stone homosexual and be bummed until your bumhole is as red as strawberry Alcolpop.,

SITUATION TWO

Six feet away from bloke with brick, shout 'Go on Dave throw the brick the Pigs won't do anyfink.'

RESULT

Arrested, placed gently headfirst into a police van taken to a police station, charged with inciting violence released with a caution and for the rest of your life be turned down for every job you apply for because of your crimminal record.

SITUATION THREE

Sixty feet away from brick thrower and police, see trouble brewing turn round and head for home.

RESULT

You can spend a pleasant evening at home and watch the riots in comfort on the 10 o'clock news.

SITUATION FOUR

Arrive home after a day at work, hear about trouble brewing on early news. Decide to spend the evening with your wife/husband/GF/BF/Parner/Civil partner and family. Watch the developements on the 10 O'clock news and be thankful you were not caught up with the riots.

CONCLUSION

Don't be a moron. It isn't big and it isn't clever.

[John Matrix]

not sure a caution forever ruins your chances of getting a job but i see your point

[leicesterseddon]

*English Riots

[Guest lcfc80]

for some reason this thread has reminded me of 2 classic chav moments, the first one that dick kicking that concrete wall where the slab above slides down and crushes his leg and one when a nob lobs a brick at something and it bounces back and KO's him

[Guest lcfc80]

for some reason this thread has reminded me of 2 classic chav moments, the first one that dick kicking that concrete wall where the slab above slides down and crushes his leg and one when a nob lobs a brick at something and it bounces back and KO's him

[Yojoe36]

SITUATION 5

Your inside Curry's with about 3 other people. You nick a 50" LED TV, while you and your mates run back home with it.

RESULT

You got a free TV, and you can sit at home in comfort, with a cuppa tea, while laughing at the people who got caught, by the police, in the riots, on the 10 o'clock news

[Izzet is God]

someone didn't stay on and do an apprenticeship then...

[Rincewind]

Yes maybe it should be English riots. And maybe a caution will not affect your future job prospects for life but it stil counts. There are a lot of jobs where they do a police check and if you apply for a job where you are dealing with members of the public and you have violenc or similar it is nort going to put you on top of the favored list.

I know someone who was wrongly accused of stealing a bicicle. After 12 hours down the nick no phone calls the solicitor appointed by the police advised him to accept a caution and said it would not go down on record. He accepted to get home and found out later that it would go against him.

Despite taking photos into the police station with CCCTV evidence of times with the bike before it was alledgedly stolen the PC in charge would not remove the caution from his record.

To add whether it is of signifiquence I leave open, the feller is from Pakistan and a Muslim. He has done a degree at Leicester University in Finance and worked alongside me for over 3 years at the time as a security officer.

It started when someone living in a neighbouring street went to the police and said the bike my college was using was his. He was arrested and anything he said was dismissed as lies. It was not even considered that the accuser may have been mistaken.

We have both left the job so I don't know what progress has been made but it went on for over a year and he is not the type to rant and rave and demand things done. I said he should have used his right to speak to a senior officer at the station but he kept saying I'll wait for the PC to get back to me I don't want to get him into trouble he's a nice man.