Depression is so cruel as it makes you feel weak and worthless but let me just say to everyone battling with it in whatever way, you're stronger than the average person who doesn't struggle just to get out of bed in the morning. That includes you @chrishlcfc no matter how bleak it is right now
I still suffer massively and it's so hard to drag myself out of it but I've now got it to a stage where the suicidal thoughts are fleeting ones and not a serious consideration.
I know we can't fix things for each other but don't for one second think you have nobody to talk to because the community on here (this thread in particular) has some truly wonderful people in it