Suffolk_fox

Why would you call a Welsh child Refrigerator??

And to have a body lying about for 25 days in the heat of Portugal - it would smell pretty putrid. Difficult to hide that when the world's press are constantly around...

Might be something to do with all bases being covered! A quick glance of the red tops today showed the media being both 'pro' and 'anti' McCann, ditto the Portuguese Police etc.

Whever they did it or not, one thing is for sure. We won't find out by reading the newspapers' speculation...

Meet you there. If you're there first, save me a good seat. Preferably not too near Ultra....

New book out....

Ouch! My school had corporal punishment when I was a kid, but we only had the cane. Your school seems much harsher by comparison... I am an ex copper, albeit an RAF one. Still, there are many things which have not been adhered to, such as preservation of the crime scene, proper searches being carried out, best evidence etc.

Sadly a high percentage of all child deaths are carried out by parents or close relatives. I think the Portuguese Police have dealt with this in a terrible way - anyone would think they had never carried out a murder investigation before! * Following a tip off, they searched a place near the resort that they had not searched before. Why not? * They obviously didn't search the appartment thoroughly enough to have missed the 'blood'. * They kept searching their neighbour's apartment - do it once, do it right and do it thoroughly!! * How many times have they arrested the neighbour? Either incompetance or Police harrassment As regards who is guilty - I have an open mind. I just feel sorry for the kid.

Ah, have managed to sort it out. Apparently it is linked with MS Automatic updates, and can indeed be a memory hog.

My system keeps freezing up. When I have had task manager open, I notice that svchost.exe (system) is taking up 99% of the CPU. This starts happening approx 5 mins after start up. What can be causing it to do this, and how do I prevent it?

We are currently selling a wedding dress and our Fiesta (Car, not the magazine.) Wedding Dress Fiesta There are further pics of the wedding dress on our website!

Hear about the boy scout who got kicked out for eating a brownie?

The Pope, a schoolboy and an unnamed American President are in a plane. Suddenly the pilot suffers a heart attack and the craft takes a nosedive. As the engines sputter, the three passengers try to stay calm. 'Well,' says the Pope, 'we have established that none of us can land this baby, so we're going to have to jump for it.' 'But there are only two parachutes,' says the boy, pointing to a pile of bundles by the exit. Without hesitating, the American President rushes over to them, takes one and shouts: 'I am the President of the United States of America. I am the world's most powerful leader. And apart from that, I am the most intelligent President in the history of my country. I have a responsibility to my people not to die.' With that, he leaps out of the plane. Now the Pope turns calmly to the schoolboy and says: 'I am already old. I have already lived my life as a good person and a priest. There is a place for me in heaven. I insist you take the last parachute.' 'No need,' says the boy, 'America's most intelligent President has taken my schoolbag...'

I once ruthlessly took advantage of being told I looked just like Bryan Adams in a nightclub in Stamford.... There is a quiet shop doorway nearby which will be forever England.....

You have mail...

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up baked beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small roadside cafe and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the cafe and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released ALL the gas. Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight!" She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertiliser truck running over a skunk in front of a sewer plant. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage!!! Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologising for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!" I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q: What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime? A: Patty O'Furniture!

Mahoneys wife has to go out of town for the day on a business trip. The last thing she says to her husband is to not go out to the bar in her absence. As soon as the wife is gone he heads down to Clancys pub. After spending most of the day there he decides he'd better get back on home. He gets up from the bar takes a few steps and falls flat on his face. Gets up, takes a few more steps and again, falls flat on his face. All the way home for three blocks its up down up down until he finally makes it home. Just after he gets in the house his wife shows up. She walks in the door just as the phone was ringing. She answers it and hangs up after a short conversation. She looks at Mahony and says, "So you went to Clancys pub after all did ya.?" "Well yes dear,"said Mahoney, "but how did you know? " "That was the barman on the phone calling to say you left your wheel chair there!"

A young Irishman sat at a bar in a pub in London drinking beer and conversin' with the barkeep. Another comes in and sits besides him. After greeting him, he hears the lilt and says "You be Irish?" "Yes I am." The first man yells barkeep "Give us another round and one for my friend here he's from the mother country as well." The second man asks "So where in the old country ye from? "Dublin" responds the first. "Dublin you say - so am I!" and the second man hollers "Barkeep, bring us another round and a shot of your best Irish Whiskey for me and my friend here." Afterwards the first man asks "From where in Dublin? " and the second man responds with the street and the first man says "Well I'll be - so am I!" and yells to the barkeep for another pair of beers and Irish Whiskey for the pair of them. The phone behind the bar rings and the barkeep answers it. The owner of the pub asks - "How is business?" The barkeep responds "Not too bad - The O'Malley twins are here getting drunk again....."

, nice one! Still lost in Ireland, I stopped at another pub. "Can you tell me how to get to Dublin from here please?" I asked the barman He pulled a face, thought for a while then said... "Well if Oi were you, Oi wouldn't be startin' from here..."

Recently lost in County Meath I popped into a pub and asked the barman for help. 'Excuse me, can you tell me the quickest way to Dublin?' I enquired 'Are you walking or droiving?' He replied 'I am driving' 'Yes, tat'd be t' quickest way'....

:thumbsup:

I refer you to Post no 2 above. At least I now know what happens to candidates who fail the RAF eyetest - they go next door to the Army Careers Office! Be the Best.....

I got a text asking me to run in a marathon the other day. I thought "**** off!!". Then I read on and it said it was for blind and spastic kids, and I thought "Hey I might just be able to win that..." I'm here all week....