samingram_uk

After two adult refrences if possible please...Thanks.

After two adults references for Chelsea. Would be very greatful. Thanks.

@cruyff99 great seller and fast replies. Cheers my man

Steven Gerrard has escaped from prision. Police aint worried though, Ronaldo was his get away driver.

Coventry City shirt.... Craig get the hell out! Samingram_uk@2010

What's the difference between Amir Khan and a Rustler's burger? About seven seconds.

I was checking into a hotel the other week. At the counter, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel is disabled." Unbelievable what some people are into.

Bob is walking home when he sees a tramp begging for change. Feeling a bit sorry for the man, he gives him some change and begins to walk off. "Thank you," says the homeless man. "It used to be so good for me but look at me now." "What do you mean?" asked Bob. The tramp replied, "I was a multi-millionaire, "I had bank accounts all across the world with millions in. I had investments, bonds, stocks, shares and all sorts." "What happened, where did it go wrong?" The tramp replied, "forgot my fookin mother's maiden name."

A plane is in flight. Suddenly a speaker goes on, and the pilot says 'Hello ladies and Gentlemen, we've just reached, OH SHIT!' The stunned passengers wait in a terrified silence. Finnaly, the speaker comes back on, and the pilot once again speaks. 'Sorry for that disturbance, the stewardess just spilt coffee on me. You should see the front of my pants!' A man at the end of the plane shouts 'You should see the back of mine!'

Blackpool tower needs a new lick of Paint. So the foreman in charge finds three men who could do the job. An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Scotish man is first to see foreman. The foreman ask's ' How much will the job cost in total?' The Scots man say's ' 3000 pounds.' 'Thats great' says the foreman, 'Could you break that down for me please?' the foreman asks. 'Certinally' says the Scott. ' 1000 pounds for materials, 1000 pounds for the labour and 1000 pounds for myself.' ' Thats fantastic, i'll let you know if you've got the job soon.' Says the foreman. Next up is the English man. The foreman ask's the English man ' How much will the job cost in total?' The English man say's ' 6000 pounds.' 'Thats lovely' says the foreman, 'Could you break that down for me please?' the foreman asks. 'Of corse' say's the Englismen. ' 2000 pounds for materials, 2000 pounds for the labour and 2000 pounds for myself.' ' Thats reasonable, i'll let you know if you've got the job soon.' Says the foreman. Next to come in is the Irish man. The foreman ask's the Irish man ' How much will the job cost in total?' The Irish man say's ' 9000 pounds.' 'Oh i see' says the foreman, 'could you break that down for me please?' the foreman asks. 'By jeebus of corse laddy.' Say's the Irishman. ' 3000 pounds for myself, 3000 pounds for you, and we'll get that Scottish cu*t to do the job for 3000.'

I love da Yaga

A bloke is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the police. The police officer approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking Sir?" "No. Why?" replies the man. "Was I all over the road?" "No," replies the officer, "you were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious."

New football boots - 150 Pound. New haircut - 50 Pound Providing your family with luxury accommodation for 3 weeks - 3000 Pound Losing the Euro 08 cup final, Champions League Final, Premier League final day show down, League cup final, Fa cup quarter final all in the same season... fooking priceless There are some things money can't buy but for everything else there's Ballackcard.

Jesus once said, "Love thy neighbour." Bet he didn't live on a fooking council estate.

I went to a Premature Ejaculation Anonymous meeting the other day but nobody was there. I think I came too early.